Wendigo in the White House (Fan-Fic)

Abishai100

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Sep 22, 2013
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A wendigo is a folkloric 'humanoid-being' said to possess extra-human strength and evolutionarily deviant features, since he/she is a cannibal (a human who eats human flesh regularly).

The wendigo represents historical citations of actual incidents in which human beings were engaged in cannibalistic practices either for survival purposes (e.g., survivors of the South American rugby team stranded in the Andes and resorting to cannibalism for their diet) or for bizarre 'religious' rituals (e.g., Aztecs of Mexico).

We reference the 'wendigo' when we talk about human consciousness regarding consumption and gluttony and egregious behaviors, perhaps symbolic of our modern age of consumerism over-exuberance and indulgence (e.g., Burger King, Wall Street, Facebook, eBay, eTrade, etc., etc.).

The fictional comic book super-villain Kraven the Hunter (Marvel Comics) is a strength-enhanced maniacal self-proclaimed 'hunter' who behaves like a ruthless sportsman and relentless game-seeker, using guns to become the ultimate hunter and destroy his heroic adversary Spider-Man.

Kraven obviously symbolizes rage and indulgence, so we can construct a modernism-relevant Kraven story about our arguably consumerism-hypnotized 'TrumpUSA' (media, TV, casinos, banks, entertainment, Machiavellian capitalism, etc.) to better illuminate some of the more 'egregious aspects' of our new commerce-based 'society.'

Will 'Trumponomics' in some way frustratingly outshine Reaganomics?




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Kraven arrived in Washington, D.C. on Halloween Eve after a long 'sabbatical' in Australia. Kraven was armed with a very nice self-assembling rifle which he hid in his newly-purchased big trench-coat. Kraven hated capitalism and America most of all, so he scoured D.C. looking for a justification for his unmitigated cynical rage against modern civilization. The FBI were hot on his trail, since the Australian authorities/police were convinced Kraven was responsible for a terrible series of gruesome cop-killings in Sydney ascribed to an anti-establishmentarian rage against commerce and urban traffic in the developed world.

Kraven wanted to kidnap First Lady Melania Trump from the White House and hold her for ransom until U.S. President Donald Trump paid him $10 million (so Kraven could move to a secret 'base' in Africa and build a wildlife preserve and safari-hunting 'game-mission' --- perfectly mobile and easy to disassemble and hence impossible to track/monitor). Kraven resolved to 'escape' from the world by forging this eccentric 'game-mission' so that no one would bother him as he pursued his personal philosophical yearning for 'Utopian primalism.' First, he needed to infiltrate the White House(!).

Kraven was in Washington one rainy evening meditating on what he should do and how he should invade the White House when he suddenly saw a strange soaring figure in the night-sky. It was the heroic Spider-Man (a masked urban vigilante with incredible agility and strength). Spider-Man used special homemade nylon ropes to swing across building rooftops, and he intended to use his special ropes to tie up Kraven and take away his nifty rifle from him. However, Kraven spotted him first and demanded they engage in a 'debate' rather than fight. Kraven promised to disappear (forever) in Africa if Spider-Man could defy him 'intellectually.'

KRAVEN: America is disgusting!
SPIDER-MAN: You want to debate me with that terrible attitude?
KRAVEN: It's no 'attitude,' Spider-Man; it's the truth.
SPIDER-MAN: Capitalism and democracy are values Americans protect.
KRAVEN: What's so compatible about capitalism and democracy?
SPIDER-MAN: If I can disprove your 'justified rage,' will you depart?
KRAVEN: I will not violate the White House if you can achieve this...
SPIDER-MAN: Very well; I have accepted your deranged challenge!
KRAVEN: Capitalism is competitive, while democracy is negotiable.
SPIDER-MAN: The two seem to conflict, but the FDA safeguards production.
KRAVEN: Well, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) does ensure 'hygiene.'
SPIDER-MAN: Precisely; Americans use democracy to create 'clean consumerism.'
KRAVEN: Alright, but can you prove that the 'regular citizen' (layman) trusts politicians?
SPIDER-MAN: There are Christians who support the U.S. government!
KRAVEN: It seems to me that 'TrumpUSA' leaves much room for vanity/avarice.
SPIDER-MAN: If you're referring to Wall Street, there anti-monopoly policies/laws.
KRAVEN: Well, you've convinced me about U.S. vs. Microsoft, so I'll depart!
SPIDER-MAN: Capitalism legalese has kept America (and the White House) safe!
KRAVEN: Were it not for you, I'd have become a 'Marxist wendigo.'
SPIDER-MAN: Farewell...


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