Hey Friends:
I've been away trying to practice writing up political statements as either
Spoofs or Serious stories.
Two entries in contests online
sparked a bit of controversy.
* One on where we could hide George Zimmerman from the media
I would like your OPINIONS on this, if you think the media really would
back off, or if you think all the corruption in Freedmen's Town would finally
get exposed if Zimmerman were hired to work there and be left alone
In Plain Sight - Worth1000 Contests
* One on two ministers debating the ethical responsibility for healing criminals
before they kill more people
Bonus: Is it okay to shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die? - Worth1000 Contests
Please post any political comments here - the writers' site is only for literary critiques
between members reviewing contest entries on a blind basis.
* There is also a spoof entry on Evolutionary debates online,
dedicated to you my friends here on usmessageboard
Picture prompt - Worth1000 Contests
============================================
"Eve of Man: Evolution in 7 Days"
Day One:
Antarctica
In the Whitmore Mountain range on the icy continent of Antarctica,
600-million-year-old fossils of "miniature humanoids" are reported found,* but the exact location and age are clearly disputed. And pictures online look poorly photoshopped.
Students and scientists post angry messages, pointing out facts and contradictions, to debunk the website where this story appears.
Petitions circulate online, demanding the website be shut down as fraudulent.
A counter-petition is posted, suggesting that critics should evolve a few million years. And develop what is called a "sense of humor" to enjoy an obvious parody. But too many people believe it is real, creating disturbance and dissension.
Humanity fails to learn a primary lesson, not to argue with idiots over the Internet.
-------
Day Two:
North America
After a purported documentary on Mermaids receives the highest ratings of any episode in the cable TV series, college students at a private university plot a way to ride on this publicity wave to pay off their loans. They claim to have found the long missing remains of the infamous "Fiji Mermaid" stuffed in a trunk in the attic of the house they rented for the school year.
The students try to sell rights to their story for a documentary, or get the university to buy the alleged creature for research, while selling ad space on the website where their fraudulent claims are posted. (In small print, they post a brief disclaimer that the site is a complete spoof, having learned something from past pranks gone wrong.) In the growing debate over whether the skeleton is half a monkey sewn to a fish, or half a fish sewn to a monkey, the number of hits doubles, then triples per day.
The cable channel and college students, both hosting fake Mermaid websites, link to each other to multiple their profits, until they become entangled in legal arguments, over which group should be selling advertising to the other.
Instead of paying back their loans, the students face greater debts
from legal fees and penalties for abusing university networks to perpetuate fraud.
Whatever lesson these students are supposed to learn in college, it exceeds the cost of tuition, and what they can earn at entry-level jobs.
-------
Day Three:
South America
Two prominent American paleontologists make a bet with each other over who can identify the most new extinct species. The two men end up arguing who deserves credit for discovering and naming the long-necked "thunder lizard" first: Dr. A with his Apatosaurus or Dr. B with his Brontosaurus.
Unfortunate neighbors, living in a house between these two feuding fellows, grow tired of hearing them bicker in Latin at all hours of the day and night. They break up the arguments, banging on the doors with pans, yelling at both men (translated from Spanish):
There is no such thing as a "new extinct species"!
If an animal is extinct, it is either older than old, or deader than dead.
But no dinosaurs are new! Now, silence!
(If anything is old, it's this mindless arguing back and forth.)
After peace and quiet resume temporarily, more disputes erupt when the fraudulent Brontosaurus is officially declared a hoax -- the body of an Apatosaurus combined with the head of a Camarasaurus.
Postage stamps are now discontinued with images of this imaginary Brontosaurus.
Both men fight over the rights to their images of the dinosaurs,
and replicas which have become valuable collectors' items.
They both accuse the other of trying to start another war. The neighbors swoop in, grab both men, and bury them alive -- with their collection of dinosaur bones, postage stamps, and plastic replicas they were selling on ebay.
If there is a moral to this story, it's buried with those two paleontologists.
-------
Day Four:
Europe
The "Piltdown Man," created from bone fragments, is reported found in Sussex, England. But later gets exposed as a fraud, combining the jawbone of an orangutan with the skull of a modern adult human.
Because so much science relied on misinformation to push controversial theories of evolution, creationists hail this as a victory for God that the "Piltdown Man" was finally debunked as false.
Whatever numbskulls perpetuated this hoax,
set the process of human evolution back to the Dark Ages....
-------
Day Five:
Asia
Fossil remains of the "Peking Man" are stored in a safe in China, until they are packed for shipping to the U.S. for safekeeping during wartime.
But the package disappears in Northern China, and is not returned to sender, despite offers and demands of 5,000 to 500,000 dollars in reward money.
The U.S. is relieved it's not the only Postal Service that loses important mail!
The Chinese government appoints an official committee -- to research and find the missing "Peking Man." To date, three teeth have been located in a fossil museum.
But no government has ever evolved that could provide reliable Postal Service.
-------
Day Six:
Africa
"Luci" and "Ardi" are found in Ethiopia, estimated to be the oldest humanoid fossil remains at 3.2 to 4.4 million years. Discussions and debates flare up online and multiply, on forums and listserv's worldwide.
Biblical scholars debate whether "Ardi" represents Adam and "Luci" represents either Eve or Lilith.
Other experts question: How can fragments of bones be assembled and called a complete set of anything!
Humanist groups reject the bias of framing world history around humans, whose existence only represents a tiny fraction of the timeline.
If humans are so important, why did dinosaurs roam the Earth for eons longer?
One smart aleck replies: Maybe God liked playing with his dinosaurs! Ever think about that?
All kids go through their dinosaur stage. Where everything is dinosaurs, dinosaurs, dinosaurs!
If it's that hard for kids to give up their favorite toys, wouldn't God play with them as long as he could?
Finally! The human race might actually produce specimens with half a sense of humor about unanswerable questions.
-------
Day Seven:
Australia
The image of an oversized skull is posted online, with site workers either digging it up or casually looking on. The photo appears altered, and is rumored to come from Australia. But nobody can confirm its origin.
By the time the photo circulates around the Web, it evolves in different forms, and some almost look real!
One version ends up in a caption contest,
sponsored by a radio show in New Zealand, where the winning submission is:
"Archaeologists searching for gold uncover skullduggery."
The prize is a mysterious package, that turns out to contain the missing fossils
of the "Peking Man." So the winner collects a huge reward from China.
World governments unite in celebration -- that the Postal Service can actually work,
and find lost mail.
Though little hope remains for the rest of mankind.
=================================================
Visitors may sign on to comment, but please DO NOT attempt to vote (as new members
do not have points for voting and you will create work for the moderators to delete
who are already over their heads with the website being discontinued by the owner).
The spoofs are on Worth1000 Home
* "Eve of Man: Evolution in 7 Days" is posted under "Writing" / "Contests"
under the "picture prompt" of teh "large skull"
Picture prompt - Worth1000 Contests
* "In Plain Sight" is posted under "Frustration" under FINISHED Contests.
I am debating with a political science writer who saw only propoganda
and no basis for stating such things as my personal experience or opinion.
I argued that people say biased things all the time, so what's wrong if I do the same?
In Plain Sight - Worth1000 Contests
The other story taken as preaching when I presented two ministers in conflict
over how far to go with spiritual healing in teh criminal justice system:
* "Not my problem" under the writing contest with the Reno/revolver theme.
Bonus: Is it okay to shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die? - Worth1000 Contests
Please do not vote if you sign in to comment, as this contest is still active through today.
If you have something political to say on this story, do it here, that other site is not political
and is for writers' critiques only. I would love your feedback either way!
Thanks, and I hope you enjoy the spoof on internet hoaxes
dedicated to debaters on usmessageboard and backpage, both sites where I
found the most intelligent minds to discuss and debate these things freely, thanks!
Yours truly,
Emily
I've been away trying to practice writing up political statements as either
Spoofs or Serious stories.
Two entries in contests online
sparked a bit of controversy.
* One on where we could hide George Zimmerman from the media
I would like your OPINIONS on this, if you think the media really would
back off, or if you think all the corruption in Freedmen's Town would finally
get exposed if Zimmerman were hired to work there and be left alone
In Plain Sight - Worth1000 Contests
* One on two ministers debating the ethical responsibility for healing criminals
before they kill more people
Bonus: Is it okay to shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die? - Worth1000 Contests
Please post any political comments here - the writers' site is only for literary critiques
between members reviewing contest entries on a blind basis.
* There is also a spoof entry on Evolutionary debates online,
dedicated to you my friends here on usmessageboard
Picture prompt - Worth1000 Contests
============================================
"Eve of Man: Evolution in 7 Days"
Day One:
Antarctica
In the Whitmore Mountain range on the icy continent of Antarctica,
600-million-year-old fossils of "miniature humanoids" are reported found,* but the exact location and age are clearly disputed. And pictures online look poorly photoshopped.
Students and scientists post angry messages, pointing out facts and contradictions, to debunk the website where this story appears.
Petitions circulate online, demanding the website be shut down as fraudulent.
A counter-petition is posted, suggesting that critics should evolve a few million years. And develop what is called a "sense of humor" to enjoy an obvious parody. But too many people believe it is real, creating disturbance and dissension.
Humanity fails to learn a primary lesson, not to argue with idiots over the Internet.
-------
Day Two:
North America
After a purported documentary on Mermaids receives the highest ratings of any episode in the cable TV series, college students at a private university plot a way to ride on this publicity wave to pay off their loans. They claim to have found the long missing remains of the infamous "Fiji Mermaid" stuffed in a trunk in the attic of the house they rented for the school year.
The students try to sell rights to their story for a documentary, or get the university to buy the alleged creature for research, while selling ad space on the website where their fraudulent claims are posted. (In small print, they post a brief disclaimer that the site is a complete spoof, having learned something from past pranks gone wrong.) In the growing debate over whether the skeleton is half a monkey sewn to a fish, or half a fish sewn to a monkey, the number of hits doubles, then triples per day.
The cable channel and college students, both hosting fake Mermaid websites, link to each other to multiple their profits, until they become entangled in legal arguments, over which group should be selling advertising to the other.
Instead of paying back their loans, the students face greater debts
from legal fees and penalties for abusing university networks to perpetuate fraud.
Whatever lesson these students are supposed to learn in college, it exceeds the cost of tuition, and what they can earn at entry-level jobs.
-------
Day Three:
South America
Two prominent American paleontologists make a bet with each other over who can identify the most new extinct species. The two men end up arguing who deserves credit for discovering and naming the long-necked "thunder lizard" first: Dr. A with his Apatosaurus or Dr. B with his Brontosaurus.
Unfortunate neighbors, living in a house between these two feuding fellows, grow tired of hearing them bicker in Latin at all hours of the day and night. They break up the arguments, banging on the doors with pans, yelling at both men (translated from Spanish):
There is no such thing as a "new extinct species"!
If an animal is extinct, it is either older than old, or deader than dead.
But no dinosaurs are new! Now, silence!
(If anything is old, it's this mindless arguing back and forth.)
After peace and quiet resume temporarily, more disputes erupt when the fraudulent Brontosaurus is officially declared a hoax -- the body of an Apatosaurus combined with the head of a Camarasaurus.
Postage stamps are now discontinued with images of this imaginary Brontosaurus.
Both men fight over the rights to their images of the dinosaurs,
and replicas which have become valuable collectors' items.
They both accuse the other of trying to start another war. The neighbors swoop in, grab both men, and bury them alive -- with their collection of dinosaur bones, postage stamps, and plastic replicas they were selling on ebay.
If there is a moral to this story, it's buried with those two paleontologists.
-------
Day Four:
Europe
The "Piltdown Man," created from bone fragments, is reported found in Sussex, England. But later gets exposed as a fraud, combining the jawbone of an orangutan with the skull of a modern adult human.
Because so much science relied on misinformation to push controversial theories of evolution, creationists hail this as a victory for God that the "Piltdown Man" was finally debunked as false.
Whatever numbskulls perpetuated this hoax,
set the process of human evolution back to the Dark Ages....
-------
Day Five:
Asia
Fossil remains of the "Peking Man" are stored in a safe in China, until they are packed for shipping to the U.S. for safekeeping during wartime.
But the package disappears in Northern China, and is not returned to sender, despite offers and demands of 5,000 to 500,000 dollars in reward money.
The U.S. is relieved it's not the only Postal Service that loses important mail!
The Chinese government appoints an official committee -- to research and find the missing "Peking Man." To date, three teeth have been located in a fossil museum.
But no government has ever evolved that could provide reliable Postal Service.
-------
Day Six:
Africa
"Luci" and "Ardi" are found in Ethiopia, estimated to be the oldest humanoid fossil remains at 3.2 to 4.4 million years. Discussions and debates flare up online and multiply, on forums and listserv's worldwide.
Biblical scholars debate whether "Ardi" represents Adam and "Luci" represents either Eve or Lilith.
Other experts question: How can fragments of bones be assembled and called a complete set of anything!
Humanist groups reject the bias of framing world history around humans, whose existence only represents a tiny fraction of the timeline.
If humans are so important, why did dinosaurs roam the Earth for eons longer?
One smart aleck replies: Maybe God liked playing with his dinosaurs! Ever think about that?
All kids go through their dinosaur stage. Where everything is dinosaurs, dinosaurs, dinosaurs!
If it's that hard for kids to give up their favorite toys, wouldn't God play with them as long as he could?
Finally! The human race might actually produce specimens with half a sense of humor about unanswerable questions.
-------
Day Seven:
Australia
The image of an oversized skull is posted online, with site workers either digging it up or casually looking on. The photo appears altered, and is rumored to come from Australia. But nobody can confirm its origin.
By the time the photo circulates around the Web, it evolves in different forms, and some almost look real!
One version ends up in a caption contest,
sponsored by a radio show in New Zealand, where the winning submission is:
"Archaeologists searching for gold uncover skullduggery."
The prize is a mysterious package, that turns out to contain the missing fossils
of the "Peking Man." So the winner collects a huge reward from China.
World governments unite in celebration -- that the Postal Service can actually work,
and find lost mail.
Though little hope remains for the rest of mankind.
=================================================
Visitors may sign on to comment, but please DO NOT attempt to vote (as new members
do not have points for voting and you will create work for the moderators to delete
who are already over their heads with the website being discontinued by the owner).
The spoofs are on Worth1000 Home
* "Eve of Man: Evolution in 7 Days" is posted under "Writing" / "Contests"
under the "picture prompt" of teh "large skull"
Picture prompt - Worth1000 Contests
* "In Plain Sight" is posted under "Frustration" under FINISHED Contests.
I am debating with a political science writer who saw only propoganda
and no basis for stating such things as my personal experience or opinion.
I argued that people say biased things all the time, so what's wrong if I do the same?
In Plain Sight - Worth1000 Contests
The other story taken as preaching when I presented two ministers in conflict
over how far to go with spiritual healing in teh criminal justice system:
* "Not my problem" under the writing contest with the Reno/revolver theme.
Bonus: Is it okay to shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die? - Worth1000 Contests
Please do not vote if you sign in to comment, as this contest is still active through today.
If you have something political to say on this story, do it here, that other site is not political
and is for writers' critiques only. I would love your feedback either way!
Thanks, and I hope you enjoy the spoof on internet hoaxes
dedicated to debaters on usmessageboard and backpage, both sites where I
found the most intelligent minds to discuss and debate these things freely, thanks!
Yours truly,
Emily
Last edited:
