Just the first couple of paragraphs will get you to click on the site for the whole thing.
The American Revolution, which nobody knows more about than me, started because wacky King George III kept taxing everything. He taxed tea, paper, glass, lead, paint and stamps. This was intolerable and led the Colonists to resist. I think the crazy king was a Democrat. Then on a bright cold day in April as the clocks struck 13, the British attacked our Minutemen at Lexington and Concord, an event that started the American Revolution. Paul Revere had tried to warn the Colonists but he was captured. I prefer heroes that weren’t captured.
In June 1775, we Americans created the Continental army so that we could break away from the failing British Empire. The war did not initially go well for our patriotic forefathers. Even though America and England were separated by water — big water, ocean water — the British were still able to send over a bigly army. They surprised us by attacking Pearl Harbor and the Alamo. I remember. Then in 1777 General Washington marched his small army to Valley Forge. It was a painful march as many of his men were suffering from bone spurs following the Bataan Death March. While at Valley Forge, the soldiers had to endure a bitter winter as global warming hadn’t begun yet.
The British were also winning on the high seas having sunk the American frigates Titanic and Lusitania.
There is much more @ Exclusive: Original 'Salute to America' Speech Uncovered - John C. Wade, Humor Times
