The most disturbing love story ever told (Warning-Adult content)

Discussion in 'Humor' started by hylandrdet, Aug 7, 2005.

  1. hylandrdet
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    hylandrdet Member

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    I was in Frankfurt Germany, visiting my girlfriend, Hika. We were getting intimate and she'd chosen to perform oral sex on me. Now folks we all know the golden rule on oral sex, but at that particular moment I well... well I ... I should had...

    Anyway after she washed her face, she shoved me out the door and slammed it.

    Two weeks had passed. She didn't returned my calls and she didn't answer the door. I knew what I'd done was wrong, but I couldn't apologize because she won't speak to me.

    Finally after two weeks, on a sunday morning, my CQ officer knocks on my barracks door to tell me that I have a phone call. I ran down the stairs and answered the phone. It was Hika; she'd asked me to see her right away.

    So I jumped on the B-train, heading from Darmstadt to Frankfurt. I'd arrived at her apartment and ranged the doorbell. She opened the door and allowed me to walk in. She'd led me to the kitchen where she'd already prepared breakfast. It was a simple breakfast consisting of toast, a glass of orange juice and a bowl of corn flakes.

    She insisted that we eat our breakfast before we talk, so I ate my breakfast. the toast was awful, I think she'd intentionally burnt it; the orange juice was chunky and the corn flakes tasted sour.

    Anyway, once we finished our breakfast, she said, "I don't know what your idea of a relationship is, so let me explain to you mine. My idea of a relationship is about trust. If I cannot trust you, I cannot love you. If that's the way you wanted to have sex, why didn't you discuss it with me?

    I said,"I'm sorry. I was selfish. I didn't mean to hurt you". She said,"I know. I can see it in your eyes. I forgive you". I felt a sense of relief as I helped her clean up the table.

    I said to her,"I have to give you credit. Holding out for two weeks really straighten me out". She said, " What are you talking about? I had to leave for Paris for a photo shoot. I was angry at you, but I didn't have the time to talk about it. I said, "Oh, so your absense wasn't a punishment". She said," No that was", as she pointed towards my breakfast dish. I was confused, until she gave me a kiss on cheek then said...

    "What's wrong honey? You're looking at me as if I'd wiped my ass with your toast, spit in your orange juice, then pissed in your corn flakes"

    Now that's love for ya!
     
  2. Stephanie
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    Stephanie Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    Could you from now on keep your disgusting fairy tales to yourself, I don't want to toss my cookie's.... YUK'''''''' :death: :banned:
     
  3. Gabriella84
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    Gabriella84 Guest

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    :laugh: not that you didn't deserve it :suck:

    Of course, I think your imaginary lady friend showed tremendous restraint. If you had done the same vile thing to me, you would have reported back to base with a visible set of teeth marks and a very painful pecker. :death:
     
  4. Stephanie
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    Stephanie Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    We can substitute Lorena Bobbet in there as his lady friend... :chains: :cry:
     
  5. kurtsprincess
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    kurtsprincess Active Member

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    You gotta love a woman who is willing to not only discuss the error of your ways :spank3: .....but is willing to demonstrate, with all the right props, what life will be like if you continue to make the same mistake. :poop:

    Sometimes telling someone just isn't enough.........some people are visual, some auditory and some are tactile.........looks like she appealed to your sense of taste and smell to make her point. Pretty smart cookie!!!! :laugh:
     
  6. Zhukov
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    Zhukov VIP Member

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    If that's a true story, you're a moron.
     

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