The Cappucino Corral

[Statistikhengst]

Firestorm of feelings, or simply the worst of Kismet.​

Hello, everyone, and a good Saturday to you.

You might want to grab a Cappuccino before you read this.

I have decided to announce to the USMB community what has just happened in my life and with my family in the USA. It's hard to write this and not get tears in my eyes. I will only be reporting this here and then that's that.

On October 20th, my dog died. That was two or three days before the Cappucino Corral came into being.

Siox days later, on October 26th, my sister called me from Ohio. Her husband, my brother-in-law, was taken to the hospital. My BIL never had to go the hospital for anything in his life. Apparently, in the summer of 2014, he was beginning to have some back pain, but took Tylenol and Co. to ease the symptoms.

3 hours after my brother in law was admitted, after a number of scans, he was diagnosed with cancer inside every major organ of his body, already fully metastasized. It was already wrapped around his spinal cord. The doctor told him that outside of radical chemo, which he thought would kill my BIL instantly, there was nothing to do. He was given between 3-4 months to live, but one specialist who had seen a number of these cases told my sister right then and there that it was likely 3 to 4 weeks, and not months.

7 days later, my BIL had to go through emergency surgery because his intestines essentially exploded. 5 days after that, once the hospital had set up a hospice bed at my sister's house, he was brought home. During that time, I telephoned with my sister about 50 times. 2 days later, on November 8th in the USA, late evening, November 9th in the AM my time (and that day was also my birthday), he died in his wife's arms. Just 15 days after such a horrifying diagnosis, he was already dead. It should be noted that my sister's line of work in the last 10 years was that of private hospice worker. She went into the homes of people in home-hospice care and tended to them in their last months or even weeks. And now, she had to do this with her own husband.

I flew home with the next available flight, getting in to Dayton on November 12th, to assist in preparing his funeral and all of the many unpleasant and very sad tasks that go with it. When I got through the door of my sister's house in the Dayton, OH area, she fell to pieces. They had been married 20 years and had been together almost 25 years - and it was a true love story in every way.Seated on the couch, I held my sister in my arms for almost 4 hours and let her cry herself slowly to sleep. And over the last 10 days, I spent pretty much every waking moment with her.

The funeral was one week ago, on November 15th. About 300 people were there: family, friends, work colleagues, etc.

I want to tell you something about my BIL: he was the most decent man I ever knew. He never missed a day of work in 42 years, until the week he was admitted to the hospital. Sam (no, that is not his real name, but I am going to call him that here in USMB) always said to me and my sister and to their 5 kids: "work hard, really hard. And when you do go on vacation, make it count." And he decided to do that with his own funeral.

In the 2 weeks between the diagnosis and his tragic death, he made his wishes known for the funeral and the immediate aftermath: he explicitly wished for a knock-down, drag-out, racous party in his honor instead of the usual staid and subdued reception. So, I ordered a boatload of catering and since his one daughter lived down the block from the funeral home, we threw a party there, for about 3 hours. He wanted people to drink his famous "Sam-Special" (Rum, Coke and a special spice, which I am not going to divulge), dance to 70s music and toast to him. And that's exactly what we did. We celebrated his life the way he wanted to be remembered.

My BIL and my sister moved into a new home in the Dayton area in 2008, one with a huge backyard, and immediately, my BIL planted two gardens: one for vegetables, and one for roses. And when the roses were in bloom, my BIL cut roses for my sister every single day and put them in a vase on the dining room table. He even kept a yearly count on a pad on the refrigerator. In 2012, he brought his wife almost 500 roses from the garden! So, for the funeral, I ordered almost 300 roses so that each participant could take a rose home in memory of Sam's loving act for his wife. Pretty much everyone who was there understood the significance of those roses.

Now, I am sure that all of us have suffered loss and tragedy, so in no way should anyone think that somehow I think that this is an isolated case. But I did want to, in the presence of a number of USMB friends and acquantances, bear witness to a man who was more like a brother to me than "just" a BIL. He was a great man, a great brother and a great friend: I miss him terribly, but even more so, my heart breaks into about a thousand pieces for my sister, for he was truly her A and O. Now, in her mid-fifties, she must go on alone, without him. They worked all these years to live the American dream of a home paid-off, kids off to college and finally, some fun in their golden years. But he didn't live to see those golden years.

Between the funeral and the party, I also transported all of the flower arrangements from the funeral home to my sister's house. There were 40 floral arrangements. It was an amazing sight. Thank goodness the rental car company ugraded me from compact to a big mini-van. Good Kismet.

In the five days following the funeral, my sister and I did a ton of paperwork for things she will be needing in the years to come, financial and legal things and such.

Yesterday afternoon, I flew back to Germany and landed just this morning. The last 10 days I just spent in Ohio, at my old "stomping grounds", have been without a doubt the darkest, saddest days of my entire life. So, now you know why I've been scarce most of the time in USMB in the last weeks. And also why I was so subdued on the kind birthday thread that Mertex made for me. Thanks still, Mertex!

In closing, I want to bear witness to an amazing phenomenon concerning my sister's neighbors. She is surrounded by six of the kindest, most caring neighbors I have ever seen. The entire street was in mourning for my BIL, who died at the age of only 61, just three months away from early retirement. I got to know those neighbors in the last ten days and I know they will be visiting my sister quite often and helping her around the house.

I ask of you to keep my sister in your prayers. I would be deeply appreciative of the support for her.

In closing, many thanks to Hossfly , who greeted me at the airport in Charlotte, NC, during my layover. We drank coffee together and talked. What a fine, fine gentleman, a truly kind and decent human being. He took the time out of his day to do this for me. That was just awesome.

Equally awesome was Derideo_Te , who greeted me at the airport in Philadephia during that layover as well. Also a fine, fine, fine gentleman, a truly kind and decent human being who also took time out of his day to do this. What a pleasure it was to get to meet both of you, two very different individuals, but very much alike in your kindness and humanity.

I wish you all a good weekend.

-Stat

Thank you for sharing this, Stat.

You're very lucky to have a close, loving family and your sister is very lucky to have you.

You got served quite a plateful Stat. How you holding up?

Prayer flags awind, for you and your sister...

View attachment 34303​

Thank you, Pogo .

I am exhausted, but back to work as usual. Being an independent contractor means that if I don't work, I don't eat. So, back at it I am.

 

[Sarah G]

I didn't win anything last night at our Xmas Bunco party, but the food was good, we all had a good time.

I've only played a couple of times but it was fun!

I didn't win anything last night at our Xmas Bunco party, but the food was good, we all had a good time.

I've only played a couple of times but it was fun!

Are you still watching Homeland? I can hardly wait for tonight's episode. Also, we started watching "The Affair" - that's another one that is really good.

Funny that I've never gotten into Homeland. Everyone says its great but I've never seen it.

But, love Masters of Sex and The Knick.

I kept hearing people mention Homeland, so I told my husband we needed to watch it. I don't remember how we were able to get the previous episodes, whether it was thru NetFlix or On Demand....but we started from the beginning and I got hooked right away. Every episode leaves you hanging and wanting to see the next one.....same as with Breaking Bad and Dexter. Very few programs do that for me. We watched Master of Sex, but sometimes I feel like it just drags on and the episodes don't leave you hanging....I guess I like excitement.

I just got done watching this week's. It was pretty intense. Good grief.

 

[Sarah G]

I just saw a promo for another favorite series, House of Lies. Showtime, starts January 11. Omg, I love that series. House of Cards also starts in January on Netflix.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Good morning folks.....I'm all dressed up and going shopping today. Gotta get it done, even though I sure don't like it.

Came in to USMB this morning, I had over 25 alerts, but I don't have time to go and respond to them....I'll do it tonight, if I'm not exhausted from all that shopping!

Gotta say, I never look at the alerts. Just don't have the time. They pile up and then zero out. And then start over again.

Have fun shopping. ARGH. I hate shopping and do most by catalog and Amazon.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I didn't win anything last night at our Xmas Bunco party, but the food was good, we all had a good time.

I've only played a couple of times but it was fun!

I didn't win anything last night at our Xmas Bunco party, but the food was good, we all had a good time.

I've only played a couple of times but it was fun!

Are you still watching Homeland? I can hardly wait for tonight's episode. Also, we started watching "The Affair" - that's another one that is really good.

Funny that I've never gotten into Homeland. Everyone says its great but I've never seen it.

But, love Masters of Sex and The Knick.

I kept hearing people mention Homeland, so I told my husband we needed to watch it. I don't remember how we were able to get the previous episodes, whether it was thru NetFlix or On Demand....but we started from the beginning and I got hooked right away. Every episode leaves you hanging and wanting to see the next one.....same as with Breaking Bad and Dexter. Very few programs do that for me. We watched Master of Sex, but sometimes I feel like it just drags on and the episodes don't leave you hanging....I guess I like excitement.

I kind of agree about Masters of Sex.

Uh, what does it say about a program about sex that its not exciting ... ?

I wish we could get Netflix or On Demand but that's part of the price we pay for seeing that wonderful lake every morning. We're still in the Dark Ages when it comes to streaming.

 

[Statistikhengst]

After four weeks of massive stress, it's nice to come home, cook a nice, hot tea and come to the Cappucino Corral and put my feet up....

 

[Statistikhengst]

So, where are all the hot babes with big bra sizes???

 

[Wolfsister77]

So, where are all the hot babes with big bra sizes???

That's for Cheers where the drinks are.

 

[Statistikhengst]

Oh, uhm, er.... uhm....

 

[Mertex]

So, I told you all I was going shopping.....had an interesting experience. After going to several stores and spending some money, I had only bought two gifts to mark off my gift list. I still had about ten more to get so I decided to drive over to the mall that's closest to my area. I went into Macy's, got my husband a nice gift, then I strolled on over to Dillards. I wandered into the women's area and thought, maybe I should get me a Christmasy sweater or shirt, so I was looking around, when one of the sales ladies approached me and asked me if she could help me find something. I smiled and said "I was just looking" and she mumbled something like "if you find something let me know and I'll be glad to help you"......I continued looking and then I saw the coats....I'm thinking maybe I should buy me a new coat as the one I have is a couple of years old. It doesn't really get that cold here in Texas, and I probably only wear it 10 times total, but, I thought if I find a good deal I may just buy me a new one. I was checking out all the different ones, when the same lady approached me and asked me "Are you looking for a specific color?" - to which I replied, "No, not really, I don't even know what I want, yet".....so again she said she'd be happy to help me....I was still looking at the coats and the prices, when she came back and said "You still haven't found anything? You've been here for 30 minutes" - which kinda took me by surprise. I thought that was rather rude but thought maybe she didn't mean it the way I took it so I just said, "No, I haven't found what I want" - After a while I talked myself out of buying a coat, so I went back to the other area where I had seen some neat sweaters. I had just started to check one out, when here comes that same saleslady.....and with a big smile said "You're still here?" - by this time I found her comment really annoying, so I responded, "Are you timing me"? To which she replied "Oh no, not at all, I was just going to the bathroom, but I'll be back" - (didn't really know why she was telling me this), but by then I had enough of her following me around and her questions seemed like she wanted me to hurry and buy something. I was so annoyed, I decided I didn't really want the sweater and left. I told my husband about it, and he thought that was weird of her to say that to me....maybe she really doesn't know how she comes across?

 

[Mertex]

Hi Mertex, I can't record anything now as Britain has gone digital and does not transmit analogue signals and my video recorder only works on analogue so it is obsolete. I have not got around to getting a digital system yet.

Oh, that's too bad, Dajjal.....it really helps because many times we are gone when the programs air, and recording them sure helps.

 

[Mertex]

Pogo saw this, reminded me of Hobbes....

 

[Statistikhengst]

Guten Morgen, Bon Matin, Dobre Utra, Boker Tov, GOOD MORNING cappucinistas of the world and a good and humpy Hump Day to all!

Gesendet von meinem GT-I9515 mit Tapatalk

 

[Dot Com]

getting an early start today.

bbl

 

[Sarah G]

getting an early start today.

bbl

Me too but not as early as you. I'm waiting for the sunrise at least.

 

[Sarah G]

Morning Everyone,

I like this one:

Hope all you believers have those trees and stars ready.

 

[Wolfsister77]

Good morning. Snowing here. 3-4 inches expected. Just enough to make those poor, unfortunate souls who have to work have a rough drive. Luckily, I have the day off. My daughter is off of school too. Mommy, daughter day. I love those. Have a good one.

 

[Mertex]

Good morning folks.....really busy today, hope I have time to come by later....enjoy the day.

 

[mdk]

Good morning everyone! Safe travel for those of you hitting the road to tomorrow to be with your nearest and dearest. Happy Thansgiving!

 

[Dot Com]

heavy/wet snow just started here around the D.C. metro area.