Talking to son about masturbation

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

My son is 12.

Son: At school they taught it was a mortal sin according to the Catholic Church.

Me: That's right.

Son: Does that mean I have to go to confession EVERY time I do it or I'll go to hell?

Me: How often are we talking about, son?

Son: (drops his head down) Like three or four times a day.

Me: Good God! I mean....ok. I'm glad we're having this talk. You can just save them up and receive absolution for everything once a week.

Son: But why would God make something a sin if I can't help it? That's just not fair.

Me: Because God is a boy with an ant farm and this is one of his cruel jokes. (Bitterly because I remember this same dilemma from when I was a boy)

I can see why my wife wants me to have these discussions. But on this topic, there are no good answers.

1) Get him the hell out of a religious school before he gets as screwed up as you.
2) Tell him there is nothing wrong with masturbation, and in mutual, the Woman ALWAYS comes first.
3) When he turns 18 take him to a brothel so he learns how to please his partner correctly.

Right. Send him to public schools where God is despised but deviant lifestyles are celebrated?

There's a reason he goes to a Christian school and that's to keep him away from the predations of perverts like yourself.

 

[theDoctorisIn]

I don't have any kids yet, but if I do, "the talk" about masterbation will go something like this:

It's a lot of fun, but make sure to clean up after yourself - you're doing your own laundry from here out.

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

I don't have any kids yet, but if I do, "the talk" about masterbation will go something like this:

It's a lot of fun, but make sure to clean up after yourself - you're doing your own laundry from here out.

We had the happy sock conversation already. The conversation I posted is part of um....a series. The porn magazine we found was another episode as well as rinsing down the shower with the hand-held after splooging on the walls. He's driving his mom nucking futs and every time, it's up to me to have another talk.

 

[Pogo]

Bible doesn't explicitly mention masturbation anywhere. Usual souce of this prohibition is the sin of Onan. Unfortunately, that wasn't masturbation. Onan was having sex with his wife and withdrawing before climax so as not to get her pregnant. That's not masturbation.

And the Jewish arguement about not wasting one's seed (semen) while actually a lot clsoer to the act of masturbation falls apart with the use of the word "waste." Masturbation doesn't waste one's seed but actually strengthens it making sperm 'better swimmers.' Then there's the laundry list of health and psychological benefits to the deed. If anything's it's exercising your reproductive system. Makes you healthier, saner (less horny and motivated by lust,) and better at the act of sex teaching you how to recognize impending climaxes so you can last longer and get your partner off first.

If a religion teaches something with objective health benefits which does all good things and no bad things is a sin, then that religion isn't a religion but a cult.

And that (the biblical waste bit) is spawned from the sociological conditions of the time, when populating was thought to be sorely needed. You were expected to be married and procreating while still a teenager. It's all about numbers.

What the fundies forget is dem books ain't been updated in a loooong long time.

It is akin to having a Constitution without an amendment process. God never intended his Church to be governed by a book.

I'm just thrilled my son feels comfortable talking to me about it.

You should be happy that your son feels he can speak about something so intimate with you, and yet I wonder why he would feel the need to.i suppose a Catholic upbringing would compel a child to do so, and yet I believe a child left to his own devices would grow without guilt for things that are as natural as rain.

I cannot positively say that is so because every child is not the same, but I think that letting children grow without guilt for being what they are is best.

We all do what we think is best for our kids. For us, a Catholic upbringing is the best way to go. My son is learning to deal with a paradox, not the last he'll encounter in his life. How can something be sinful that's hard to control? One makes a choice every time they masturbate, they are not compelled to do so. But resistance is futile, as the Borg say, because eventually a boy will succumb to those raging hormones and they will rock the casbah.

Maturity is knowing how to deal with unfairness without whining like a Democrat, to accept not everything has an answer, and to never give up. I hope the lesson takes.

With metaphors like that, it's doubtful.

Bible doesn't explicitly mention masturbation anywhere. Usual souce of this prohibition is the sin of Onan. Unfortunately, that wasn't masturbation. Onan was having sex with his wife and withdrawing before climax so as not to get her pregnant. That's not masturbation.

And the Jewish arguement about not wasting one's seed (semen) while actually a lot clsoer to the act of masturbation falls apart with the use of the word "waste." Masturbation doesn't waste one's seed but actually strengthens it making sperm 'better swimmers.' Then there's the laundry list of health and psychological benefits to the deed. If anything's it's exercising your reproductive system. Makes you healthier, saner (less horny and motivated by lust,) and better at the act of sex teaching you how to recognize impending climaxes so you can last longer and get your partner off first.

If a religion teaches something with objective health benefits which does all good things and no bad things is a sin, then that religion isn't a religion but a cult.

Considering plenty of cults use and have used the Bible only method, your last point is fatally undermined. The Bible is not and never has been the sole rule of faith. Jesus promised the Spirit of Truth to guide his Church into all truth. He commissioned his apostles with his own authority instructing them to teach the nations, to baptize, to forgive sins, to bind, to loose, and to receive the Holy Spirit directly. Nothing Jesus did even hints that they be bound by a book.......which wouldn't even be made official until 4 centuries later. Even that event, where the Church of God decided what is and isn't the Bible is certain proof of where the real authority is both then and today.

I don't care if it's in the Bible or not. Christ's Church says masturbation is a sin. Therefore it is.

I came up in the same church and I don't remember being told that, ever...

Did you then tell you boy it's a sin? If so, are you prepared with an answer if he asks why?

Did you get a Catholic education? If you did, I'm sure that was covered.

Sure did, and fortunately I got out of it too. But I remember it all and they never went there. Perhaps it's a function of locality; more likely a function of time. When I grew up in the 1820s, one didn't talk about it.

But they certainly addressed other things and one is reminded that nobody ever grows in any kind of positive way when motivated by denial, shame or negativism.

 

[OnePercenter]

Right. Send him to public schools where God is despised but deviant lifestyles are celebrated?

School is for education, church is for God for those that haven't rationally figured out that organized religion is a scam.

Public schools teach the three r's, plus the fact that everyone isn't the same.

There's a reason he goes to a Christian school and that's to keep him away from the predations of perverts like yourself.

Calling names is the sign that you don't have a logical point and not very Christian. You'd better run to church and be absolved!

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

Bible doesn't explicitly mention masturbation anywhere. Usual souce of this prohibition is the sin of Onan. Unfortunately, that wasn't masturbation. Onan was having sex with his wife and withdrawing before climax so as not to get her pregnant. That's not masturbation.

And the Jewish arguement about not wasting one's seed (semen) while actually a lot clsoer to the act of masturbation falls apart with the use of the word "waste." Masturbation doesn't waste one's seed but actually strengthens it making sperm 'better swimmers.' Then there's the laundry list of health and psychological benefits to the deed. If anything's it's exercising your reproductive system. Makes you healthier, saner (less horny and motivated by lust,) and better at the act of sex teaching you how to recognize impending climaxes so you can last longer and get your partner off first.

If a religion teaches something with objective health benefits which does all good things and no bad things is a sin, then that religion isn't a religion but a cult.

And that (the biblical waste bit) is spawned from the sociological conditions of the time, when populating was thought to be sorely needed. You were expected to be married and procreating while still a teenager. It's all about numbers.

What the fundies forget is dem books ain't been updated in a loooong long time.

It is akin to having a Constitution without an amendment process. God never intended his Church to be governed by a book.

I'm just thrilled my son feels comfortable talking to me about it.

You should be happy that your son feels he can speak about something so intimate with you, and yet I wonder why he would feel the need to.i suppose a Catholic upbringing would compel a child to do so, and yet I believe a child left to his own devices would grow without guilt for things that are as natural as rain.

I cannot positively say that is so because every child is not the same, but I think that letting children grow without guilt for being what they are is best.

We all do what we think is best for our kids. For us, a Catholic upbringing is the best way to go. My son is learning to deal with a paradox, not the last he'll encounter in his life. How can something be sinful that's hard to control? One makes a choice every time they masturbate, they are not compelled to do so. But resistance is futile, as the Borg say, because eventually a boy will succumb to those raging hormones and they will rock the casbah.

Maturity is knowing how to deal with unfairness without whining like a Democrat, to accept not everything has an answer, and to never give up. I hope the lesson takes.

With metaphors like that, it's doubtful.

Bible doesn't explicitly mention masturbation anywhere. Usual souce of this prohibition is the sin of Onan. Unfortunately, that wasn't masturbation. Onan was having sex with his wife and withdrawing before climax so as not to get her pregnant. That's not masturbation.

And the Jewish arguement about not wasting one's seed (semen) while actually a lot clsoer to the act of masturbation falls apart with the use of the word "waste." Masturbation doesn't waste one's seed but actually strengthens it making sperm 'better swimmers.' Then there's the laundry list of health and psychological benefits to the deed. If anything's it's exercising your reproductive system. Makes you healthier, saner (less horny and motivated by lust,) and better at the act of sex teaching you how to recognize impending climaxes so you can last longer and get your partner off first.

If a religion teaches something with objective health benefits which does all good things and no bad things is a sin, then that religion isn't a religion but a cult.

Considering plenty of cults use and have used the Bible only method, your last point is fatally undermined. The Bible is not and never has been the sole rule of faith. Jesus promised the Spirit of Truth to guide his Church into all truth. He commissioned his apostles with his own authority instructing them to teach the nations, to baptize, to forgive sins, to bind, to loose, and to receive the Holy Spirit directly. Nothing Jesus did even hints that they be bound by a book.......which wouldn't even be made official until 4 centuries later. Even that event, where the Church of God decided what is and isn't the Bible is certain proof of where the real authority is both then and today.

I don't care if it's in the Bible or not. Christ's Church says masturbation is a sin. Therefore it is.

I came up in the same church and I don't remember being told that, ever...

Did you then tell you boy it's a sin? If so, are you prepared with an answer if he asks why?

Did you get a Catholic education? If you did, I'm sure that was covered.

Sure did, and fortunately I got out of it too. But I remember it all and they never went there. Perhaps it's a function of locality; more likely a function of time. When I grew up in the 1820s, one didn't talk about it.

But they certainly addressed other things and one is reminded that nobody ever grows in any kind of positive way when motivated by denial, shame or negativism.

Don't like my metaphor? I had that commercial stuck in my head advertising the new movie coming out. Can you believe Bill Murray still has the stuff? As a Clash fan AND a Murray fan, I GOT to see that!

 

[rightwinger]

Good thing you talked to him

I hear that if he keeps it up, he will go blind

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

Good thing you talked to him

I hear that if he keeps it up, he will go blind

His younger brother is high functioning autistic.

I have NO idea how that conversation is going to play out.

 

[Pogo]

And that (the biblical waste bit) is spawned from the sociological conditions of the time, when populating was thought to be sorely needed. You were expected to be married and procreating while still a teenager. It's all about numbers.

What the fundies forget is dem books ain't been updated in a loooong long time.

It is akin to having a Constitution without an amendment process. God never intended his Church to be governed by a book.

I'm just thrilled my son feels comfortable talking to me about it.

You should be happy that your son feels he can speak about something so intimate with you, and yet I wonder why he would feel the need to.i suppose a Catholic upbringing would compel a child to do so, and yet I believe a child left to his own devices would grow without guilt for things that are as natural as rain.

I cannot positively say that is so because every child is not the same, but I think that letting children grow without guilt for being what they are is best.

We all do what we think is best for our kids. For us, a Catholic upbringing is the best way to go. My son is learning to deal with a paradox, not the last he'll encounter in his life. How can something be sinful that's hard to control? One makes a choice every time they masturbate, they are not compelled to do so. But resistance is futile, as the Borg say, because eventually a boy will succumb to those raging hormones and they will rock the casbah.

Maturity is knowing how to deal with unfairness without whining like a Democrat, to accept not everything has an answer, and to never give up. I hope the lesson takes.

With metaphors like that, it's doubtful.

Bible doesn't explicitly mention masturbation anywhere. Usual souce of this prohibition is the sin of Onan. Unfortunately, that wasn't masturbation. Onan was having sex with his wife and withdrawing before climax so as not to get her pregnant. That's not masturbation.

And the Jewish arguement about not wasting one's seed (semen) while actually a lot clsoer to the act of masturbation falls apart with the use of the word "waste." Masturbation doesn't waste one's seed but actually strengthens it making sperm 'better swimmers.' Then there's the laundry list of health and psychological benefits to the deed. If anything's it's exercising your reproductive system. Makes you healthier, saner (less horny and motivated by lust,) and better at the act of sex teaching you how to recognize impending climaxes so you can last longer and get your partner off first.

If a religion teaches something with objective health benefits which does all good things and no bad things is a sin, then that religion isn't a religion but a cult.

Considering plenty of cults use and have used the Bible only method, your last point is fatally undermined. The Bible is not and never has been the sole rule of faith. Jesus promised the Spirit of Truth to guide his Church into all truth. He commissioned his apostles with his own authority instructing them to teach the nations, to baptize, to forgive sins, to bind, to loose, and to receive the Holy Spirit directly. Nothing Jesus did even hints that they be bound by a book.......which wouldn't even be made official until 4 centuries later. Even that event, where the Church of God decided what is and isn't the Bible is certain proof of where the real authority is both then and today.

I don't care if it's in the Bible or not. Christ's Church says masturbation is a sin. Therefore it is.

I came up in the same church and I don't remember being told that, ever...

Did you then tell you boy it's a sin? If so, are you prepared with an answer if he asks why?

Did you get a Catholic education? If you did, I'm sure that was covered.

Sure did, and fortunately I got out of it too. But I remember it all and they never went there. Perhaps it's a function of locality; more likely a function of time. When I grew up in the 1820s, one didn't talk about it.

But they certainly addressed other things and one is reminded that nobody ever grows in any kind of positive way when motivated by denial, shame or negativism.

Don't like my metaphor? I had that commercial stuck in my head advertising the new movie coming out. Can you believe Bill Murray still has the stuff? As a Clash fan AND a Murray fan, I GOT to see that!

That's completely incoherent. No idea what you're on about.

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

It is akin to having a Constitution without an amendment process. God never intended his Church to be governed by a book.

I'm just thrilled my son feels comfortable talking to me about it.

You should be happy that your son feels he can speak about something so intimate with you, and yet I wonder why he would feel the need to.i suppose a Catholic upbringing would compel a child to do so, and yet I believe a child left to his own devices would grow without guilt for things that are as natural as rain.

I cannot positively say that is so because every child is not the same, but I think that letting children grow without guilt for being what they are is best.

We all do what we think is best for our kids. For us, a Catholic upbringing is the best way to go. My son is learning to deal with a paradox, not the last he'll encounter in his life. How can something be sinful that's hard to control? One makes a choice every time they masturbate, they are not compelled to do so. But resistance is futile, as the Borg say, because eventually a boy will succumb to those raging hormones and they will rock the casbah.

Maturity is knowing how to deal with unfairness without whining like a Democrat, to accept not everything has an answer, and to never give up. I hope the lesson takes.

With metaphors like that, it's doubtful.

Considering plenty of cults use and have used the Bible only method, your last point is fatally undermined. The Bible is not and never has been the sole rule of faith. Jesus promised the Spirit of Truth to guide his Church into all truth. He commissioned his apostles with his own authority instructing them to teach the nations, to baptize, to forgive sins, to bind, to loose, and to receive the Holy Spirit directly. Nothing Jesus did even hints that they be bound by a book.......which wouldn't even be made official until 4 centuries later. Even that event, where the Church of God decided what is and isn't the Bible is certain proof of where the real authority is both then and today.

I don't care if it's in the Bible or not. Christ's Church says masturbation is a sin. Therefore it is.

I came up in the same church and I don't remember being told that, ever...

Did you then tell you boy it's a sin? If so, are you prepared with an answer if he asks why?

Did you get a Catholic education? If you did, I'm sure that was covered.

Sure did, and fortunately I got out of it too. But I remember it all and they never went there. Perhaps it's a function of locality; more likely a function of time. When I grew up in the 1820s, one didn't talk about it.

But they certainly addressed other things and one is reminded that nobody ever grows in any kind of positive way when motivated by denial, shame or negativism.

Don't like my metaphor? I had that commercial stuck in my head advertising the new movie coming out. Can you believe Bill Murray still has the stuff? As a Clash fan AND a Murray fan, I GOT to see that!

That's completely incoherent. No idea what you're on about.

Apparently you've never heard of Bill Murray or The Clash.

 

[Wake]

Better he masturbates like a normal person than not at all and then go psychotic when the opportunity presents itself.

Hormones are very powerful things. For all the adults here, would anyone be able to go without sex or masturbation for 28 days?

I'm not religious, and personally I don't think religion has much of an understanding of anatomy and physiology.

 

[Pogo]

You should be happy that your son feels he can speak about something so intimate with you, and yet I wonder why he would feel the need to.i suppose a Catholic upbringing would compel a child to do so, and yet I believe a child left to his own devices would grow without guilt for things that are as natural as rain.

I cannot positively say that is so because every child is not the same, but I think that letting children grow without guilt for being what they are is best.

We all do what we think is best for our kids. For us, a Catholic upbringing is the best way to go. My son is learning to deal with a paradox, not the last he'll encounter in his life. How can something be sinful that's hard to control? One makes a choice every time they masturbate, they are not compelled to do so. But resistance is futile, as the Borg say, because eventually a boy will succumb to those raging hormones and they will rock the casbah.

Maturity is knowing how to deal with unfairness without whining like a Democrat, to accept not everything has an answer, and to never give up. I hope the lesson takes.

With metaphors like that, it's doubtful.

I came up in the same church and I don't remember being told that, ever...

Did you then tell you boy it's a sin? If so, are you prepared with an answer if he asks why?

Did you get a Catholic education? If you did, I'm sure that was covered.

Sure did, and fortunately I got out of it too. But I remember it all and they never went there. Perhaps it's a function of locality; more likely a function of time. When I grew up in the 1820s, one didn't talk about it.

But they certainly addressed other things and one is reminded that nobody ever grows in any kind of positive way when motivated by denial, shame or negativism.

Don't like my metaphor? I had that commercial stuck in my head advertising the new movie coming out. Can you believe Bill Murray still has the stuff? As a Clash fan AND a Murray fan, I GOT to see that!

That's completely incoherent. No idea what you're on about.

Apparently you've never heard of Bill Murray or The Clash.

Heard of both, but neither has squat to do with anything we were talking about. Completely out of left field.

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

We all do what we think is best for our kids. For us, a Catholic upbringing is the best way to go. My son is learning to deal with a paradox, not the last he'll encounter in his life. How can something be sinful that's hard to control? One makes a choice every time they masturbate, they are not compelled to do so. But resistance is futile, as the Borg say, because eventually a boy will succumb to those raging hormones and they will rock the casbah.

Maturity is knowing how to deal with unfairness without whining like a Democrat, to accept not everything has an answer, and to never give up. I hope the lesson takes.

With metaphors like that, it's doubtful.

Did you get a Catholic education? If you did, I'm sure that was covered.

Sure did, and fortunately I got out of it too. But I remember it all and they never went there. Perhaps it's a function of locality; more likely a function of time. When I grew up in the 1820s, one didn't talk about it.

But they certainly addressed other things and one is reminded that nobody ever grows in any kind of positive way when motivated by denial, shame or negativism.

Don't like my metaphor? I had that commercial stuck in my head advertising the new movie coming out. Can you believe Bill Murray still has the stuff? As a Clash fan AND a Murray fan, I GOT to see that!

That's completely incoherent. No idea what you're on about.

Apparently you've never heard of Bill Murray or The Clash.

Heard of both, but neither has squat to do with anything we were talking about. Completely out of left field.

Actually you're out of Left field but we already knew that.

We're talking about talking about masturbation, which has many analogies.

Wax the dolphin.
Spank the monkey.
Strumming the old stromolini.

And rock the casbah.

See it now?

Grow a sense of humor, square one.

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

Better he masturbates like a normal person than not at all and then go psychotic when the opportunity presents itself.

Hormones are very powerful things. For all the adults here, would anyone be able to go without sex or masturbation for 28 days?

I'm not religious, and personally I don't think religion has much of an understanding of anatomy and physiology.

Religion teaches us to bridle our passions. Abandon to unchecked hedonism does nothing for our character. The pursuit of holiness, even if we fall short, makes us better people. So that leaves us between the impossible loft of impeccable conduct, even if we fall short, and just giving up because we can't be perfect.

Explaining this to a horny 12 year old? That's another endeavor not unlike the labors of Hercules.

 

[Pogo]

With metaphors like that, it's doubtful.


Sure did, and fortunately I got out of it too. But I remember it all and they never went there. Perhaps it's a function of locality; more likely a function of time. When I grew up in the 1820s, one didn't talk about it.

But they certainly addressed other things and one is reminded that nobody ever grows in any kind of positive way when motivated by denial, shame or negativism.

Don't like my metaphor? I had that commercial stuck in my head advertising the new movie coming out. Can you believe Bill Murray still has the stuff? As a Clash fan AND a Murray fan, I GOT to see that!

That's completely incoherent. No idea what you're on about.

Apparently you've never heard of Bill Murray or The Clash.

Heard of both, but neither has squat to do with anything we were talking about. Completely out of left field.

Actually you're out of Left field but we already knew that.

We're talking about talking about masturbation, which has many analogies.

Wax the dolphin.
Spank the monkey.
Strumming the old stromolini.

And rock the casbah.

See it now?

Grow a sense of humor, square one.

Nope. Never heard that metaphor, ever.
I think it kinda has to be established first. "Casbah"? Kind of a stretch, no?

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

Don't like my metaphor? I had that commercial stuck in my head advertising the new movie coming out. Can you believe Bill Murray still has the stuff? As a Clash fan AND a Murray fan, I GOT to see that!

That's completely incoherent. No idea what you're on about.

Apparently you've never heard of Bill Murray or The Clash.

Heard of both, but neither has squat to do with anything we were talking about. Completely out of left field.

Actually you're out of Left field but we already knew that.

We're talking about talking about masturbation, which has many analogies.

Wax the dolphin.
Spank the monkey.
Strumming the old stromolini.

And rock the casbah.

See it now?

Grow a sense of humor, square one.

Nope. Never heard that metaphor, ever.
I think it kinda has to be established first. "Casbah"? Kind of a stretch, no?

No not really.

Humor. Buy some.

 

[Pogo]

That's completely incoherent. No idea what you're on about.

Apparently you've never heard of Bill Murray or The Clash.

Heard of both, but neither has squat to do with anything we were talking about. Completely out of left field.

Actually you're out of Left field but we already knew that.

We're talking about talking about masturbation, which has many analogies.

Wax the dolphin.
Spank the monkey.
Strumming the old stromolini.

And rock the casbah.

See it now?

Grow a sense of humor, square one.

Nope. Never heard that metaphor, ever.
I think it kinda has to be established first. "Casbah"? Kind of a stretch, no?

No not really.

Humor. Buy some.

Has nothing to do with "humor". Has to do with "secret decoder rings".
In order for humor to happen both parties have to know the basis of it. Can't just make up new expressions and expect them to sell.

Now "buffing the bishop" one can figure out, because of the mitre.
"Waxing the carrot", sure.
But "rock the Casbah"?

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

Apparently you've never heard of Bill Murray or The Clash.

Heard of both, but neither has squat to do with anything we were talking about. Completely out of left field.

Actually you're out of Left field but we already knew that.

We're talking about talking about masturbation, which has many analogies.

Wax the dolphin.
Spank the monkey.
Strumming the old stromolini.

And rock the casbah.

See it now?

Grow a sense of humor, square one.

Nope. Never heard that metaphor, ever.
I think it kinda has to be established first. "Casbah"? Kind of a stretch, no?

No not really.

Humor. Buy some.

Has nothing to do with "humor". Has to do with "secret decoder rings".
In order for humor to happen both parties have to know the basis of it. Can't just make up new expressions and expect them to sell.

It isn't new because you never heard it before.

 

[rightwinger]

Why would you talk to your kid about masterbation?

Just tell him don't do it in front of your mother

 

[saintmichaeldefendthem]

Why would you talk to your kid about masterbation?

Just tell him don't do it in front of your mother

If you are someday blessed with a pubescent boy, you'll understand. It's a conversation that can't be avoided.