- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
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This is a capitalism-parody inspired by Boiler Room.
Cheers,
====
"Am I a slave of capitalism, a mindless follower of marketing, TV ads, and consumerism? Sure, I like Planet Hollywood and Burger King, but do I mindlessly follow Wall Street while ignoring the natural splendour of the Amazonian rainforest? I think about my studies in Algerian and the writings of Frantz Fanon and the general mistrust of western civilization harboured in the hearts of passionate Algerians. I start to wonder if Algerians care about Burger King as much as I do!"
"Algerians like Selsun Blue (American brand of dandruff-shampoo). That's a very possible 'fact.' Algerians like Selsun Blue. Why? Because it's convenient/handy-dandy? Because it works? Because it's blue? Blue is, after all, the color of the sky and the Pacific Ocean. Blue reminds us of cool and temperate things (unlike the fiery color of red!). Algerians like Selsun Blue. All I need understand is that Algerians do not 'loathe' capitalism, since Algerian men are willing to purchase Selsun Blue to rid their hair of pesky dandruff. Algerians like Selsun Blue."
"Beware the great Blue Ice Dragon known as 'Aqua.' Aqua does not mind the fact that Algerians like Selsun Blue, however, Aqua cares nothing for the Toronto Blue Jays (MLB) or the Duke Blue Devils (NCAAB) or American Express Blue (credit-card brand). Aqua does not eat at Burger King, and he sure doesn't shop on Amazon.com(!). Aqua is a creature of rage and he breathes paralysing ice onto anyone 'mindless' enough to slavishly follow Wall Street without the proper dose of self-reflection. Aqua probably likes U.S. President Donald Trump, but who knows? Aqua unnerves our sensibilities about Burger King eco-pollution."
"Fortunately, there is a Blue Knight named Alas who counters the demonic 'plan' of Aqua the Blue Ice Dragon(!). Alas cares about American Express Blue, since that brand of credit-card offers consumers confidence regarding the conveniences of shopping. When women are happy shopping, their husbands are happy, and when husbands/men are happy, there are fewer wars. There's less of a chance that commerce-minded President Trump has to worry about another 9/11 type terrorist attack on, say, Wall Street disrupting consumerism traffic on, say, Black Friday (the annual 'shopping-day' in America following Thanksgiving). Alas the Knight defies the rage of Aqua the Dragon by using his shield to shame Aqua about his senseless fury towards 'harmless child-like shoppers'."
"Perhaps then I'm merely a 'priest of modernism.' I'm a consumerism 'witness' and a commerce 'advocate.' I'm neither Jesus Christ nor the AntiChrist. I'm neither G.I. Joe nor ISIS. I'm neither Babe Ruth nor Mike Tyson. I seek neither celebrity nor controversy. I'm merely here to praise Alas the Knight and TrumpUSA as the modern world embraces all the convenient fineries of consumerism and generates its own ghost stories --- e.g., 'An Algerian radical-capitalism philosopher named Ali P decided to purchase 200 bottles of Selsun Blue shampoo and post photos of them on the Internet when he suddenly realized a Communist phantom was...watching him'!"
THE END
====
Cheers,
====
"Am I a slave of capitalism, a mindless follower of marketing, TV ads, and consumerism? Sure, I like Planet Hollywood and Burger King, but do I mindlessly follow Wall Street while ignoring the natural splendour of the Amazonian rainforest? I think about my studies in Algerian and the writings of Frantz Fanon and the general mistrust of western civilization harboured in the hearts of passionate Algerians. I start to wonder if Algerians care about Burger King as much as I do!"
"Algerians like Selsun Blue (American brand of dandruff-shampoo). That's a very possible 'fact.' Algerians like Selsun Blue. Why? Because it's convenient/handy-dandy? Because it works? Because it's blue? Blue is, after all, the color of the sky and the Pacific Ocean. Blue reminds us of cool and temperate things (unlike the fiery color of red!). Algerians like Selsun Blue. All I need understand is that Algerians do not 'loathe' capitalism, since Algerian men are willing to purchase Selsun Blue to rid their hair of pesky dandruff. Algerians like Selsun Blue."
"Beware the great Blue Ice Dragon known as 'Aqua.' Aqua does not mind the fact that Algerians like Selsun Blue, however, Aqua cares nothing for the Toronto Blue Jays (MLB) or the Duke Blue Devils (NCAAB) or American Express Blue (credit-card brand). Aqua does not eat at Burger King, and he sure doesn't shop on Amazon.com(!). Aqua is a creature of rage and he breathes paralysing ice onto anyone 'mindless' enough to slavishly follow Wall Street without the proper dose of self-reflection. Aqua probably likes U.S. President Donald Trump, but who knows? Aqua unnerves our sensibilities about Burger King eco-pollution."
"Fortunately, there is a Blue Knight named Alas who counters the demonic 'plan' of Aqua the Blue Ice Dragon(!). Alas cares about American Express Blue, since that brand of credit-card offers consumers confidence regarding the conveniences of shopping. When women are happy shopping, their husbands are happy, and when husbands/men are happy, there are fewer wars. There's less of a chance that commerce-minded President Trump has to worry about another 9/11 type terrorist attack on, say, Wall Street disrupting consumerism traffic on, say, Black Friday (the annual 'shopping-day' in America following Thanksgiving). Alas the Knight defies the rage of Aqua the Dragon by using his shield to shame Aqua about his senseless fury towards 'harmless child-like shoppers'."
"Perhaps then I'm merely a 'priest of modernism.' I'm a consumerism 'witness' and a commerce 'advocate.' I'm neither Jesus Christ nor the AntiChrist. I'm neither G.I. Joe nor ISIS. I'm neither Babe Ruth nor Mike Tyson. I seek neither celebrity nor controversy. I'm merely here to praise Alas the Knight and TrumpUSA as the modern world embraces all the convenient fineries of consumerism and generates its own ghost stories --- e.g., 'An Algerian radical-capitalism philosopher named Ali P decided to purchase 200 bottles of Selsun Blue shampoo and post photos of them on the Internet when he suddenly realized a Communist phantom was...watching him'!"
THE END
====
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