Question for members

[BULLDOG]

My member refuses to say anything and is afraid anything that it does say may incriminate it.

I've talked to my member a time or two, but it's never said anything back. That would scare me.

 

[JGalt]

That green thing on the lower right, is that an acme dildo re-pressurizer made in Wales?

Yes it is, and it works on many calibers of dildos.

 

[Toro]

When you post here, how many of you are naked holding a cat, while watching Jerry Springer reruns and eating bon bons?

mike wants to know how many others are joining him in his favorite pastime.

 

[Moonglow]

I've talked to my member a time or two, but it's never said anything back. That would scare me.

You get used to it after a while, makes more sense than miketx

 

[deannalw]

I've talked to my member a time or two, but it's never said anything back. That would scare me.

 

[miketx]

mike wants to know how many others are joining him in his favorite pastime.

I said exactly what I wanted to know you feckless bitchtard!

 

[EvilEyeFleegle]

Yes it is, and it works on many calibers of dildos.

Huh..who knew...calibers eh? I imagine sizes are measure in Gauge--like shotguns.

LOL...a 12 gauge dildo..single..or double headed..errr..barreled?

 

[1srelluc]

Is that a fully semi automatic AR-16? I haven' seen one in a while. Having that is clearly why no one chased into the shower to take that brown thing you are eating.

So I was taking a shower while enjoying a chocolate chip cookie when.....I heard a suspicious sound....My seeing eye cat was taking a dump at the time so......

 

[JGalt]

Huh..who knew...calibers eh? I imagine sizes are measure in Gauge--like shotguns.

LOL...a 12 gauge dildo..single..or double headed..errr..barreled?

This one's for small dildos, so they're measured in tenths of an inch or metric sizes.

 

[BULLDOG]

Some songs seem like they were written just for me.

 

[JGalt]

So I was taking a shower while enjoying a chocolate chip cookie when.....I heard a suspicious sound....My seeing eye cat was taking a dump at the time so......

I'm old enough to remember shower cookie. That was back when I got banned for there the second time.

 

[miketx]

mike wants to know how many others are joining him in his favorite pastime.

How many times have you chipped your teeth on a dildo?

 

[miketx]

I'm old enough to remember shower cookie. That was back when I got banned for there the second time.

You remember McUzi?

 

[JGalt]

You remember McUzi?

I wasn't on there long enough to remember anyone. Fourth time was a charm and I was about to get banned again, but someone bought me a two year subscription for giving one of the mods some shit.

I hardly ever log in there anymore, unless some big story breaks. Folks on that board can be pretty mean sometimes, unlike here.

 

[miketx]

I wasn't on there long enough to remember anyone. Fourth time was a charm and I was about to get banned again, but someone bought me a two year subscription for giving one of the mods some shit.

I hardly ever log in there anymore, unless some big story breaks. Folks on that board can be pretty mean sometimes.

McUzi is famous for the McUzi rant, circa mid 1990's. Best one of all time! Here it is...




You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a slug than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.


You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beast who sired you and then killed himself in recognition of what he had done. Your daddy was a bastard, your mamma was a whore, and you wouldn't be here if the rubber hadn't tore.



I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a booger. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?


You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood.

May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Sheep won't have sex with you--only trash such as yourself. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.


And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?


You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meat slapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool.


You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of a used condom. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.


You are a fiend and a coward, and you have toe jam. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away forever.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid.
You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid.


Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me.


After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything.
Your attempt at constructing a creative post was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

 

[1srelluc]

You remember McUzi?

Ah, the famous McUzi rant.....This part would apply to the leftists here in spades.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Hydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know.

Sigh, good times before things got Brownelled.....

 

[1srelluc]

"You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser.

You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill."

He did one on SKS owners but I can't find it. I laughed so hard I had snot running out my nose.

 

[toobfreak]

When you post here, how many of you are naked holding a cat, while watching Jerry Springer reruns and eating bon bons?

JackOfNoTrades might be, but he can't post here in The Garage because he ain't got no garage. Man must be poor or something, maybe he lives in a 2-room shack. Shame. Jack might not have a garage but he definitely has a pussy.

 

[1srelluc]

JackOfNoTrades might be, but he can't post here in The Garage because he ain't got no garage. Man must be poor or something, maybe he lives in a 2-room shack. Shame. Jack might not have a garage but he definitely has a pussy.

He don't even have a garage, you can call home and ask his wife.

 

[EvilEyeFleegle]

He don't even have a garage, you can call home and ask his wife.

Uneasy Rider....nice reference~