Pence starts wearing a mask after Dr Fauci tells him it'll protect him from women!

[Lysistrata]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Vice-President Mike Pence has started wearing a mask after Anthony Fauci told him that it will protect him from women, Fauci has confirmed.​

​

After seeing video of a maskless Pence touring the Mayo Clinic, on Tuesday, Fauci said, “I knew I had to come up with something fast” to get through to Pence.​

​

Fauci immediately got on the phone with the Vice-President and informed him that “clinical research” had demonstrated that a mask is “an effective female-repellent.”​

​

“I told him that wearing a mask would protect him from 99.99 per cent of all women,” Fauci said. “He seemed very impressed.”​

​

In an official statement, the Vice-President thanked Fauci for his excellent advice and indicated that he would start wearing a mask at all times, including at home.​

Pence Starts Wearing Mask After Fauci Says It Will Protect Him from Women

After seeing video of a maskless Pence touring the Mayo Clinic, on Tuesday, Fauci said, “I knew I had to come up with something fast.”

www.newyorker.com

Especially when he gets into an elevator and he becomes trapped with a strange woman. The mask will protect him from the woman's pheromones so he won't be tempted to not keep his hands to himself.

The problem with his wearing a mask is that it will make it more difficult to exercise his right to sniff women's crotches.

 

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Vice-President Mike Pence has started wearing a mask after Anthony Fauci told him that it will protect him from women, Fauci has confirmed.​

​

After seeing video of a maskless Pence touring the Mayo Clinic, on Tuesday, Fauci said, “I knew I had to come up with something fast” to get through to Pence.​

​

Fauci immediately got on the phone with the Vice-President and informed him that “clinical research” had demonstrated that a mask is “an effective female-repellent.”​

​

“I told him that wearing a mask would protect him from 99.99 per cent of all women,” Fauci said. “He seemed very impressed.”​

​

In an official statement, the Vice-President thanked Fauci for his excellent advice and indicated that he would start wearing a mask at all times, including at home.​

Pence Starts Wearing Mask After Fauci Says It Will Protect Him from Women

After seeing video of a maskless Pence touring the Mayo Clinic, on Tuesday, Fauci said, “I knew I had to come up with something fast.”

www.newyorker.com

Especially when he gets into an elevator and he becomes trapped with a strange woman. The mask will protect him from the woman's pheromones so he won't be tempted to not keep his hands to himself.

The problem with his wearing a mask is that it will make it more difficult to exercise his right to sniff women's crotches.

I think Andy Dr Fauci should have also told Donnie that "The Gay" would never be able to penetrate the mask too.

 

[Lysistrata]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Vice-President Mike Pence has started wearing a mask after Anthony Fauci told him that it will protect him from women, Fauci has confirmed.​

​

After seeing video of a maskless Pence touring the Mayo Clinic, on Tuesday, Fauci said, “I knew I had to come up with something fast” to get through to Pence.​

​

Fauci immediately got on the phone with the Vice-President and informed him that “clinical research” had demonstrated that a mask is “an effective female-repellent.”​

​

“I told him that wearing a mask would protect him from 99.99 per cent of all women,” Fauci said. “He seemed very impressed.”​

​

In an official statement, the Vice-President thanked Fauci for his excellent advice and indicated that he would start wearing a mask at all times, including at home.​

Pence Starts Wearing Mask After Fauci Says It Will Protect Him from Women

After seeing video of a maskless Pence touring the Mayo Clinic, on Tuesday, Fauci said, “I knew I had to come up with something fast.”

www.newyorker.com

Especially when he gets into an elevator and he becomes trapped with a strange woman. The mask will protect him from the woman's pheromones so he won't be tempted to not keep his hands to himself.

The problem with his wearing a mask is that it will make it more difficult to exercise his right to sniff women's crotches.

I think Andy Dr Fauci should have also told Donnie that "The Gay" would never be able to penetrate the mask too.

Mustn't catch that Gay!!!

 

[Lysistrata]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Vice-President Mike Pence has started wearing a mask after Anthony Fauci told him that it will protect him from women, Fauci has confirmed.​

​

After seeing video of a maskless Pence touring the Mayo Clinic, on Tuesday, Fauci said, “I knew I had to come up with something fast” to get through to Pence.​

​

Fauci immediately got on the phone with the Vice-President and informed him that “clinical research” had demonstrated that a mask is “an effective female-repellent.”​

​

“I told him that wearing a mask would protect him from 99.99 per cent of all women,” Fauci said. “He seemed very impressed.”​

​

In an official statement, the Vice-President thanked Fauci for his excellent advice and indicated that he would start wearing a mask at all times, including at home.​

Pence Starts Wearing Mask After Fauci Says It Will Protect Him from Women

After seeing video of a maskless Pence touring the Mayo Clinic, on Tuesday, Fauci said, “I knew I had to come up with something fast.”

www.newyorker.com

Especially when he gets into an elevator and he becomes trapped with a strange woman. The mask will protect him from the woman's pheromones so he won't be tempted to not keep his hands to himself.

The problem with his wearing a mask is that it will make it more difficult to exercise his right to sniff women's crotches.

I think Andy Dr Fauci should have also told Donnie that "The Gay" would never be able to penetrate the mask too.

Mustn't catch that Gay!!!

We wouldn't want to disappoint karen, since she has already given her all.

 

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Vice-President Mike Pence has started wearing a mask after Anthony Fauci told him that it will protect him from women, Fauci has confirmed.​

​

After seeing video of a maskless Pence touring the Mayo Clinic, on Tuesday, Fauci said, “I knew I had to come up with something fast” to get through to Pence.​

​

Fauci immediately got on the phone with the Vice-President and informed him that “clinical research” had demonstrated that a mask is “an effective female-repellent.”​

​

“I told him that wearing a mask would protect him from 99.99 per cent of all women,” Fauci said. “He seemed very impressed.”​

​

In an official statement, the Vice-President thanked Fauci for his excellent advice and indicated that he would start wearing a mask at all times, including at home.​

Pence Starts Wearing Mask After Fauci Says It Will Protect Him from Women

After seeing video of a maskless Pence touring the Mayo Clinic, on Tuesday, Fauci said, “I knew I had to come up with something fast.”

www.newyorker.com

Especially when he gets into an elevator and he becomes trapped with a strange woman. The mask will protect him from the woman's pheromones so he won't be tempted to not keep his hands to himself.

The problem with his wearing a mask is that it will make it more difficult to exercise his right to sniff women's crotches.

I think Andy Dr Fauci should have also told Donnie that "The Gay" would never be able to penetrate the mask too.

Mustn't catch that Gay!!!

We wouldn't want to disappoint karen, since she has already given her all.

Speaking of Karen ... LoL. I'll bet Mayo Clinic didn't have a single spare to accommodate the Vice President of the United States.

Karen Pence says vice president didn't know about Mayo Clinic mask policy until he left