Nobody Really Wants To Go To Heaven!

[Carla_Danger]

All of the people I know, that say they are going to heaven, won't like it once they get there. Once you get to heaven, you'll be given a set of wings, a halo, and a harp. The folks afraid of flying are not going to enjoy that. You will sit around on a cloud, singing church hymns, playing the harp all day long. There will be no TV, no good music, and no wine. There will be no racism.....you can't hate illegals in heaven, and you can't take your guns! Heaven will be a noisy, sexless, monotonous place. You will be sick of it in two days. At the end of the second day, you'll be begging to go to hell, where all your friends are, for one more good shagging.... Hell, the only socially acceptable place left to smoke.




Peace out!

 

[September]

Reincarnation
​

 

[TheOldSchool]

That's the irony about heaven. All the faithful on Earth hope that heaven is full of the sins they couldn't enjoy while alive.

 

[Mr. H.]

When I die, I want to go to Google.

 

[Carla_Danger]

I want to go to Graceland.

 

[TheOldSchool]

I want to go to Graceland.

Go! It's freaking awesomne. I'm way too young to be an Elvis fan and the place still amazed me!

 

[The Professor]

All of the people I know, that say they are going to heaven, won't like it once they get there. Once you get to heaven, you'll be given a set of wings, a halo, and a harp. The folks afraid of flying are not going to enjoy that. You will sit around on a cloud, singing church hymns, playing the harp all day long. There will be no TV, no good music, and no wine. There will be no racism.....you can't hate illegals in heaven, and you can't take your guns! Heaven will be a noisy, sexless, monotonous place. You will be sick of it in two days. At the end of the second day, you'll be begging to go to hell, where all your friends are, for one more good shagging.... Hell, the only socially acceptable place left to smoke.




Peace out!

You sound a little like Mark Twain, so I thought you might like this: Letters From the Earth (Letter II)

Letters From The Earth Letter II by Mark Twain Classic Reader

 

[Carla_Danger]

I want to go to Graceland.

Go! It's freaking awesomne. I'm way too young to be an Elvis fan and the place still amazed me!

I'd like to take Mom to Graceland. She is/was a huge Elvis fan. I'm not a Christian, but I enjoyed The Passion Play. I've seen it twice.

 

[The Professor]

Reincarnation
​

All of the people I know, that say they are going to heaven, won't like it once they get there. Once you get to heaven, you'll be given a set of wings, a halo, and a harp. The folks afraid of flying are not going to enjoy that. You will sit around on a cloud, singing church hymns, playing the harp all day long. There will be no TV, no good music, and no wine. There will be no racism.....you can't hate illegals in heaven, and you can't take your guns! Heaven will be a noisy, sexless, monotonous place. You will be sick of it in two days. At the end of the second day, you'll be begging to go to hell, where all your friends are, for one more good shagging.... Hell, the only socially acceptable place left to smoke.




Peace out!

You sound a lot like Mark Twain, so I thought you might like to read his description of Heaven. Here's the link to Letters From the Earth (Letter II):

Letters From The Earth Letter II by Mark Twain Classic Reader

 

[Carla_Danger]

Reincarnation
​

All of the people I know, that say they are going to heaven, won't like it once they get there. Once you get to heaven, you'll be given a set of wings, a halo, and a harp. The folks afraid of flying are not going to enjoy that. You will sit around on a cloud, singing church hymns, playing the harp all day long. There will be no TV, no good music, and no wine. There will be no racism.....you can't hate illegals in heaven, and you can't take your guns! Heaven will be a noisy, sexless, monotonous place. You will be sick of it in two days. At the end of the second day, you'll be begging to go to hell, where all your friends are, for one more good shagging.... Hell, the only socially acceptable place left to smoke.




Peace out!

You sound a lot like Mark Twain, so I thought you might like to read his description of Heaven. Here's the link to Letters From the Earth (Letter II):

Letters From The Earth Letter II by Mark Twain Classic Reader

Thank you. I'll check it out!

 

[Blackrook]

We really don't know what heaven will be like. Pictures of people with wings strumming harps are symbolic, not meant to portray reality. Everyone knows this, so no one is going to be convinced by the OP's argument, so this thread is a complete waste of time.

 

[Carla_Danger]

Reincarnation
​

All of the people I know, that say they are going to heaven, won't like it once they get there. Once you get to heaven, you'll be given a set of wings, a halo, and a harp. The folks afraid of flying are not going to enjoy that. You will sit around on a cloud, singing church hymns, playing the harp all day long. There will be no TV, no good music, and no wine. There will be no racism.....you can't hate illegals in heaven, and you can't take your guns! Heaven will be a noisy, sexless, monotonous place. You will be sick of it in two days. At the end of the second day, you'll be begging to go to hell, where all your friends are, for one more good shagging.... Hell, the only socially acceptable place left to smoke.




Peace out!

You sound a lot like Mark Twain, so I thought you might like to read his description of Heaven. Here's the link to Letters From the Earth (Letter II):

Letters From The Earth Letter II by Mark Twain Classic Reader

"Meantime, every person is playing on a harp -- those millions and millions! -- whereas not more than twenty in the thousand of them could play an instrument in the earth, or ever wanted to."


I have wondered why more people aren't taking harp lessons in order to get prepared. LOL!

 

[Carla_Danger]

We really don't know what heaven will be like. Pictures of people with wings strumming harps are symbolic, not meant to portray reality. Everyone knows this, so no one is going to be convinced by the OP's argument, so this thread is a complete waste of time.

Come back when you find your sense of humor!

 

[Blackrook]

If you meant this thread to be a joke you should have put a disclaimer "This is a joke thread."

Otherwise, it's hard to tell when people are saying that hell is more fun than heaven. It sounds like something the devil might whisper in your ear when you're tempted to do something you're not supposed to do.

 

[TheOldSchool]

If you meant this thread to be a joke you should have put a disclaimer "This is a joke thread."

Otherwise, it's hard to tell when people are saying that hell is more fun than heaven. It sounds like something the devil might whisper in your ear when you're tempted to do something you're not supposed to do.

Like when Donald Duck smoked the cigar

 

[Carla_Danger]

If you meant this thread to be a joke you should have put a disclaimer "This is a joke thread."

Otherwise, it's hard to tell when people are saying that hell is more fun than heaven. It sounds like something the devil might whisper in your ear when you're tempted to do something you're not supposed to do.

Really? You couldn't tell that was supposed to be humorous? You need to get out and have some fun.

I don't believe in any devil. And there are no voices whispering in my ears.

 

[TheOldSchool]

 

[Blackrook]

If you meant this thread to be a joke you should have put a disclaimer "This is a joke thread."

Otherwise, it's hard to tell when people are saying that hell is more fun than heaven. It sounds like something the devil might whisper in your ear when you're tempted to do something you're not supposed to do.

Really? You couldn't tell that was supposed to be humorous? You need to get out and have some fun.

I don't believe in any devil. And there are no voices whispering in my ears.

Which is the reason you are telling people hell is fun and heaven is boring. You may not know who you're working for, but he knows about you.

 

[Carla_Danger]

If you meant this thread to be a joke you should have put a disclaimer "This is a joke thread."

Otherwise, it's hard to tell when people are saying that hell is more fun than heaven. It sounds like something the devil might whisper in your ear when you're tempted to do something you're not supposed to do.

Really? You couldn't tell that was supposed to be humorous? You need to get out and have some fun.

I don't believe in any devil. And there are no voices whispering in my ears.

Which is the reason you are telling people hell is fun and heaven is boring. You may not know who you're working for, but he knows about you.

Sounds scary.

 

[Blackrook]

If you meant this thread to be a joke you should have put a disclaimer "This is a joke thread."

Otherwise, it's hard to tell when people are saying that hell is more fun than heaven. It sounds like something the devil might whisper in your ear when you're tempted to do something you're not supposed to do.

Really? You couldn't tell that was supposed to be humorous? You need to get out and have some fun.

I don't believe in any devil. And there are no voices whispering in my ears.

Which is the reason you are telling people hell is fun and heaven is boring. You may not know who you're working for, but he knows about you.

Sounds scary.

Yes, it is scary. And if you were paying attention, you would be scared.

But right now you're oblivious to what's going on around you, and you're oblivious to the damage you do when you post on the internet and say that heaven is boring and hell is fun.