Nobody Really Wants To Go To Heaven!

[TheOldSchool]

If you meant this thread to be a joke you should have put a disclaimer "This is a joke thread."

Otherwise, it's hard to tell when people are saying that hell is more fun than heaven. It sounds like something the devil might whisper in your ear when you're tempted to do something you're not supposed to do.

Really? You couldn't tell that was supposed to be humorous? You need to get out and have some fun.

I don't believe in any devil. And there are no voices whispering in my ears.

Which is the reason you are telling people hell is fun and heaven is boring. You may not know who you're working for, but he knows about you.

Sounds scary.

Yes, it is scary. And if you were paying attention, you would be scared.

But right now you're oblivious to what's going on around you, and you're oblivious to the damage you do when you post on the internet and say that heaven is boring and hell is fun.

Exactly. Because the internet is, of course, God's most important institution on this ephemeral world

 

[Carla_Danger]

If you meant this thread to be a joke you should have put a disclaimer "This is a joke thread."

Otherwise, it's hard to tell when people are saying that hell is more fun than heaven. It sounds like something the devil might whisper in your ear when you're tempted to do something you're not supposed to do.

Really? You couldn't tell that was supposed to be humorous? You need to get out and have some fun.

I don't believe in any devil. And there are no voices whispering in my ears.

Which is the reason you are telling people hell is fun and heaven is boring. You may not know who you're working for, but he knows about you.

Sounds scary.

Yes, it is scary. And if you were paying attention, you would be scared.

But right now you're oblivious to what's going on around you, and you're oblivious to the damage you do when you post on the internet and say that heaven is boring and hell is fun.

Exactly. Because the internet is, of course, God's most important institution on this ephemeral world

Posting for Jesus!!! Hallelujah

.

 

[TheOldSchool]

If you meant this thread to be a joke you should have put a disclaimer "This is a joke thread."

Otherwise, it's hard to tell when people are saying that hell is more fun than heaven. It sounds like something the devil might whisper in your ear when you're tempted to do something you're not supposed to do.

Really? You couldn't tell that was supposed to be humorous? You need to get out and have some fun.

I don't believe in any devil. And there are no voices whispering in my ears.

Which is the reason you are telling people hell is fun and heaven is boring. You may not know who you're working for, but he knows about you.

Sounds scary.

Yes, it is scary. And if you were paying attention, you would be scared.

But right now you're oblivious to what's going on around you, and you're oblivious to the damage you do when you post on the internet and say that heaven is boring and hell is fun.

Exactly. Because the internet is, of course, God's most important institution on this ephemeral world

Posting for Jesus!!! Hallelujah

.

PRAISE THE LAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWDDDDD baby JESUS!!!!!!

 

[Blackrook]

If you meant this thread to be a joke you should have put a disclaimer "This is a joke thread."

Otherwise, it's hard to tell when people are saying that hell is more fun than heaven. It sounds like something the devil might whisper in your ear when you're tempted to do something you're not supposed to do.

Really? You couldn't tell that was supposed to be humorous? You need to get out and have some fun.

I don't believe in any devil. And there are no voices whispering in my ears.

Which is the reason you are telling people hell is fun and heaven is boring. You may not know who you're working for, but he knows about you.

Sounds scary.

Yes, it is scary. And if you were paying attention, you would be scared.

But right now you're oblivious to what's going on around you, and you're oblivious to the damage you do when you post on the internet and say that heaven is boring and hell is fun.

Exactly. Because the internet is, of course, God's most important institution on this ephemeral world

The internet is a tool, just like any other, which can be used for good or evil. The OP is proving it can be used for evil. He is telling people that heaven is boring and hell is fun. In the baptism rite they discuss the false promises of Satan. The OP is making false promises.

 

[Vandalshandle]

 

[TheOldSchool]

If you meant this thread to be a joke you should have put a disclaimer "This is a joke thread."

Otherwise, it's hard to tell when people are saying that hell is more fun than heaven. It sounds like something the devil might whisper in your ear when you're tempted to do something you're not supposed to do.

Really? You couldn't tell that was supposed to be humorous? You need to get out and have some fun.

I don't believe in any devil. And there are no voices whispering in my ears.

Which is the reason you are telling people hell is fun and heaven is boring. You may not know who you're working for, but he knows about you.

Sounds scary.

Yes, it is scary. And if you were paying attention, you would be scared.

But right now you're oblivious to what's going on around you, and you're oblivious to the damage you do when you post on the internet and say that heaven is boring and hell is fun.

Exactly. Because the internet is, of course, God's most important institution on this ephemeral world

The internet is a tool, just like any other, which can be used for good or evil. The OP is proving it can be used for evil. He is telling people that heaven is boring and hell is fun. In the baptism rite they discuss the false promises of Satan. The OP is making false promises.

Fair enough. I hope you find heaven

 

[Carla_Danger]

If you meant this thread to be a joke you should have put a disclaimer "This is a joke thread."

Otherwise, it's hard to tell when people are saying that hell is more fun than heaven. It sounds like something the devil might whisper in your ear when you're tempted to do something you're not supposed to do.

Really? You couldn't tell that was supposed to be humorous? You need to get out and have some fun.

I don't believe in any devil. And there are no voices whispering in my ears.

Which is the reason you are telling people hell is fun and heaven is boring. You may not know who you're working for, but he knows about you.

Sounds scary.

Yes, it is scary. And if you were paying attention, you would be scared.

But right now you're oblivious to what's going on around you, and you're oblivious to the damage you do when you post on the internet and say that heaven is boring and hell is fun.

Exactly. Because the internet is, of course, God's most important institution on this ephemeral world

The internet is a tool, just like any other, which can be used for good or evil. The OP is proving it can be used for evil. He is telling people that heaven is boring and hell is fun. In the baptism rite they discuss the false promises of Satan. The OP is making false promises.

Fair enough. I hope you find heaven

And stay away from the porn! LOL!

 

[TheOldSchool]

If you meant this thread to be a joke you should have put a disclaimer "This is a joke thread."

Otherwise, it's hard to tell when people are saying that hell is more fun than heaven. It sounds like something the devil might whisper in your ear when you're tempted to do something you're not supposed to do.

Really? You couldn't tell that was supposed to be humorous? You need to get out and have some fun.

I don't believe in any devil. And there are no voices whispering in my ears.

Which is the reason you are telling people hell is fun and heaven is boring. You may not know who you're working for, but he knows about you.

Sounds scary.

Yes, it is scary. And if you were paying attention, you would be scared.

But right now you're oblivious to what's going on around you, and you're oblivious to the damage you do when you post on the internet and say that heaven is boring and hell is fun.

Exactly. Because the internet is, of course, God's most important institution on this ephemeral world

The internet is a tool, just like any other, which can be used for good or evil. The OP is proving it can be used for evil. He is telling people that heaven is boring and hell is fun. In the baptism rite they discuss the false promises of Satan. The OP is making false promises.

Fair enough. I hope you find heaven

And stay away from the porn! LOL!

Of course! Because there will be UNLIMITED porn in heaven

 

[Carla_Danger]

There went 4 minutes of my life I'll never get back. LOL!

 

[Delta4Embassy]

We really don't know what heaven will be like. Pictures of people with wings strumming harps are symbolic, not meant to portray reality. Everyone knows this, so no one is going to be convinced by the OP's argument, so this thread is a complete waste of time.

If this thread is a complete waste of time, what's responding to the thread called?

 

[Delta4Embassy]

From what I've read, all commandments remain in effect in heaven (all the doable ones at any rate.) Not my idea of paradise.

 

[turzovka]

All of the people I know, that say they are going to heaven, won't like it once they get there. Once you get to heaven, you'll be given a set of wings, a halo, and a harp. The folks afraid of flying are not going to enjoy that. You will sit around on a cloud, singing church hymns, playing the harp all day long. There will be no TV, no good music, and no wine. There will be no racism.....you can't hate illegals in heaven, and you can't take your guns! Heaven will be a noisy, sexless, monotonous place. You will be sick of it in two days. At the end of the second day, you'll be begging to go to hell, where all your friends are, for one more good shagging.... Hell, the only socially acceptable place left to smoke.




Peace out!

So this is just a joke, right? Because you do not believe in God, right? Or heaven or hell?

Because if you did, I doubt you would make such an ass of yourself.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

God might exist but not heaven or hell. Gotta ask, why bother with heaven and hell if we only live a short while but then spend eternity in one or the other. Really gonan learn who's deserving of reward or punishment in a human lifetime vs the eternity they then spend in either place?

Plus there's a tiny problem with we don't have bodies in heaven or hell. We leave our bodies in the grave usually. To have a body in heaven or hell (so as to be tortured, or enduldge in pleasure) then the way our bodies work requires some kind of earth-like enviroment in heaven. Need air, water, pressure, gravity, etc. for a human body to go on experiencing life and reality as we do here on Earth. Need our eyes to see paradise, our brains to experience and appreciate it, etc. But all that's left behind. If we're soul-only we wont be experiencing much of anything.

 

[Avatar4321]

All of the people I know, that say they are going to heaven, won't like it once they get there. Once you get to heaven, you'll be given a set of wings, a halo, and a harp. The folks afraid of flying are not going to enjoy that. You will sit around on a cloud, singing church hymns, playing the harp all day long. There will be no TV, no good music, and no wine. There will be no racism.....you can't hate illegals in heaven, and you can't take your guns! Heaven will be a noisy, sexless, monotonous place. You will be sick of it in two days. At the end of the second day, you'll be begging to go to hell, where all your friends are, for one more good shagging.... Hell, the only socially acceptable place left to smoke.




Peace out!

Where on earth are you getting this nonsense? Cause it's not from the scriptures.

 

[TheOldSchool]

In my heaven my mansion will be maintained by dozens of famous female actresses, musicians, and supermodels as they appeared at age 19. They will be wearing various amusing and enticing Halloween costumes and will desire all kinds of sexual perversion while going about their day. As the only man in the mansion I'll be forced to shrug my shoulders and comply.

Also there will be 24/7 all you can eat ribs and Jerry Garcia will stop by with a briefcase full of drugs every 45 minutes or so.

 

[Carla_Danger]

All of the people I know, that say they are going to heaven, won't like it once they get there. Once you get to heaven, you'll be given a set of wings, a halo, and a harp. The folks afraid of flying are not going to enjoy that. You will sit around on a cloud, singing church hymns, playing the harp all day long. There will be no TV, no good music, and no wine. There will be no racism.....you can't hate illegals in heaven, and you can't take your guns! Heaven will be a noisy, sexless, monotonous place. You will be sick of it in two days. At the end of the second day, you'll be begging to go to hell, where all your friends are, for one more good shagging.... Hell, the only socially acceptable place left to smoke.




Peace out!

So this is just a joke, right? Because you do not believe in God, right? Or heaven or hell?

Because if you did, I doubt you would make such an ass of yourself.

All of the people I know, that say they are going to heaven, won't like it once they get there. Once you get to heaven, you'll be given a set of wings, a halo, and a harp. The folks afraid of flying are not going to enjoy that. You will sit around on a cloud, singing church hymns, playing the harp all day long. There will be no TV, no good music, and no wine. There will be no racism.....you can't hate illegals in heaven, and you can't take your guns! Heaven will be a noisy, sexless, monotonous place. You will be sick of it in two days. At the end of the second day, you'll be begging to go to hell, where all your friends are, for one more good shagging.... Hell, the only socially acceptable place left to smoke.




Peace out!

So this is just a joke, right? Because you do not believe in God, right? Or heaven or hell?

Because if you did, I doubt you would make such an ass of yourself.

Boy, you're quick. I understand that you don't care for the original post, although I'm not sure why you are so offended.

 

[hadit]

We really don't know what heaven will be like. Pictures of people with wings strumming harps are symbolic, not meant to portray reality. Everyone knows this, so no one is going to be convinced by the OP's argument, so this thread is a complete waste of time.

I predict noisy, busy, colorful. No boredom, that's for sure. As for hell, you won't have any contact with friends, so that's a non-starter.

 

[Avatar4321]

In my heaven my mansion will be maintained by dozens of famous female actresses, musicians, and supermodels as they appeared at age 19. They will be wearing various amusing and enticing Halloween costumes and will desire all kinds of sexual perversion while going about their day. As the only man in the mansion I'll be forced to shrug my shoulders and comply.

Also there will be 24/7 all you can eat ribs and Jerry Garcia will stop by with a briefcase full of drugs every 45 minutes or so.

You really think that is heaven? Sounds like hell to me. Other than maybe the ribs

I'd much rather be with my friends and family enjoying each other's company. Creating new things. Exploring the Universe. learning more and more.

 

[turzovka]

All of the people I know, that say they are going to heaven, won't like it once they get there. Once you get to heaven, you'll be given a set of wings, a halo, and a harp. The folks afraid of flying are not going to enjoy that. You will sit around on a cloud, singing church hymns, playing the harp all day long. There will be no TV, no good music, and no wine. There will be no racism.....you can't hate illegals in heaven, and you can't take your guns! Heaven will be a noisy, sexless, monotonous place. You will be sick of it in two days. At the end of the second day, you'll be begging to go to hell, where all your friends are, for one more good shagging.... Hell, the only socially acceptable place left to smoke.




Peace out!

So this is just a joke, right? Because you do not believe in God, right? Or heaven or hell?

Because if you did, I doubt you would make such an ass of yourself.

Boy, you're quick. I understand that you don't care for the original post, although I'm not sure why you are so offended.

I am offended because your low level musings are a grave insult to the One who created you.

Are you telling God he cannot possibly keep his family happy and they will be bored to death because you are certain he does not exist? If so, fine.

But if you think there is the slightest chance God may be real, then your comment is just what I said it is --- insulting and asinine.

 

[boedicca]

I've already taken out a lease in perpetuity for the tavern I'm going to set up on the Landing Between the 2nd and 3rd Circles of Hell. I'll have an infinite amount of customers from Lust and Gluttony!