my mother has stage 5 alzheimer's...learn with me...

[saveliberty]

you are so bad....i thought about having her take me downstairs to get water....but wth....why fuck with her...like that....but yea..the dark chocolate dove bars didnt suit her...
o she says jump....we dont even say how high...we just start jumping...she doesnt do that to my son....i love when she says..that her doctor was only concerned about her losing her mind and that he never said she couldnt drive or live alone.

Yep, I'm being bad and it makes you smile. That is why I do it.

Your Mom's using Zona logic. It is worse than I thought.

 

[strollingbones]

well yesterday the phone rings....its the assisted living place...my aunt and two uncles are there raising hell caue they are not on the list of people who can take her out....i wont let them go till i get there and talk to them...well the aunt and one of the uncles said they were getting lawyers...so i filed today....to have my mom declared incompetant and to get legal guardianship....i would as soon die...i had been to do this twice and backed out....finally a friend went with me....and kinda prodded me...so its done...i hope to be talking to my lawyer this thursday...i ask for an interium guardian to prevent them from trying to take her out of state.....


they forced my hand...i had wished we could just have my mother and relax unfortunatly i had forgotten how toxic her family really is....

 

[Mr.Fitnah]

You can always wash you hands of the whole affair and let them "do it" , then you wont have to hear their criticism , you will have to hear what martyrs they are for taking care of her.
There is no winning in this kind of thing when you are dealing with selfish people.

 

[strollingbones]

i assure you...at times i have thought about just throwing up my hands and going here...take her....you wont get a dime but take her....i wont have to listen to her bitch or you bitch....but that is not what is good for my mother....i have to just do what is best for her and protect her as best i can. why couldnt they just leave us alone? i just dont get the sibling thing....

they seem to want to keep me on pins and needles over this....one will say..why cant we take her to georgia and take care of her....i am like..see yall are trying to take her out to georgia...then the other goes..that is not what he said....

i was accused of having her drugged the last time they were here...no she was just exhausted...i tried to explain that to them in an email...but they elected to stay 4 hours or more...when the doctor says....10 to 15 minutes at best right now....at ever turn given the choice between doing what is best for my mom and just trying to control everything they have opted for trying to control things.

 

[saveliberty]

Your Mom is incompetent at this point. Near as I can tell, it is not her fault or yours, but a disease's. Fortunately, there is a competent daughter who is doing the right things, all be it a slow one because she is holding on to her Mom of the past.

Remember, they always can take care of Mom by signing themselves into the nursing home. Then you can watch all of them. Drool cups for everyone!

 

[Foxfyre]

What Saveliberty said. You (HB) don't strike as the kind of person who prods easily, but I'm glad your friend was able to prod you to do what you had to do. Once that is accomplished, you still have the heavy burden of decision making, but you already have that anyway. At least now, when you know the right thing to do, you'll have the power to make it stick. And that is a huge stress reliever right there.

 

[strollingbones]

Your Mom is incompetent at this point. Near as I can tell, it is not her fault or yours, but a disease's. Fortunately, there is a competent daughter who is doing the right things, all be it a slow one because she is holding on to her Mom of the past.

Remember, they always can take care of Mom by signing themselves into the nursing home. Then you can watch all of them. Drool cups for everyone!

it is just horrible.....but that is the same lecture alt gave me over lunch....its the disease..its not what i want...not what my mom wants ...but it is what dealing with the disease and her crazy ass siblings has caused...i have to sit in court and hear this...while she hears it...she will forget it in couple of days....i will live with it the rest of my life...

 

[saveliberty]

Hope your day in court goes better than my Reese peanut butter cups did. I can win $2,000,000 instantly, but my package says, "Sorry, try again". Sorry try again? I'm dieting fools. I won't have another pack for about two weeks. Think I'll have any better luck winning in court against Reese's than your relatives will against you? Guess I'm just a money whore too.

 

[saveliberty]

Third trip to the vet in a week with Daisy. You ever see a cat pant? Totally stressed kitty. She doesn't understand what I'm doing either. The daily meds are already old for both of us. Guess what? It is what needs to be done and its is the right thing to do. Can't explain it to the cat either. Your Mom is certainly much more important than the cat. But it is something current in my life that helps me relate to you.

 

[strollingbones]

i am just fearful...of this all...i expect it to be a jerry springer thing...i have to notifiy her siblings that i am doing this...i expect them to object. its just a mess....i got back into a corner with them threatening me with lawyers

 

[saveliberty]

i am just fearful...of this all...i expect it to be a jerry springer thing...i have to notifiy her siblings that i am doing this...i expect them to object. its just a mess....i got back into a corner with them threatening me with lawyers

My divorce took about twenty minutes in court years ago. A good judge won't let anyone get out of hand. Any bets on whether they show up with a lawyer? If you want, I can show up and throw your Mom's Dove Bars at them before they go into court.

People with ice cream dripping from their heads don't make reliable witnesses.

 

[Foxfyre]

i am just fearful...of this all...i expect it to be a jerry springer thing...i have to notifiy her siblings that i am doing this...i expect them to object. its just a mess....i got back into a corner with them threatening me with lawyers

Save is right. The judge won't tolerate any Jerry Springer type shenanigans. I'm guessing when it comes right down to the wire, your more diffcult relatives will opt not even to show up. They almost certainly will choose not to play if they do consult a lawyer who, if he is at all competent, will quickly determine that they have no case and advise them so. Don't worry about stuff before it happens. It saps your energy.

 

[strollingbones]

o i am banking on them showing up..hell i dont know i dont know why they do the things they do

 

[strollingbones]

i am just a bundle of exposed nerves...its like mental root canals...that is what i have to stop...so i can focus on my mom....so far..one dental visit down...one eye visit at a low vision center comeing up....kidney specialist....coming up....

now she does not like me making her go to doctors...part of the living alone problem...she swears she went to ever appointment...right...they would call me ....

 

[strollingbones]

now if we can only get a handle on why she had headaches ever day....i think a lot of it...is she is not drinking enough water...she doesnt like to pee....so that is not good for her headaches or her kidneys

 

[strollingbones]

she is having none of that cranberry juice....but i checked her fridge she is like..take me out and we can get me some ice cream...i had a friend with me..who had to get back to work...alt...the prodder...
so i couldnt..so if son calls in time i will get him to stop and get the damned dove bars....but i got a hair appointment for her tomorrow...i always forewarn them...about mom and how it can go well or not.

did i mention she hates my car? too low for her....and then...get this..she wants to go to a family reunion...she doesnt care about the reunion its rather distanct relatives but she wants to go stay with a high school friend...i ask her if the friend had a sofa i could sleep on..she said no.

the friend is 80 and doesnt drive so i got to drive them around....and its fathers day. i see me sleeping in front of the house..well not sleeping but sitting there all night...3 am talking to the cops...etc

 

[Valerie]

Hang in there, bones......Take one thing at a time.

 

[strollingbones]

that is all i can do. all any of us can do. i wonder how terry's day has gone?

 

[saveliberty]

You have to change the situations into age appropriate ones, but it reminds me of raising teenagers. We all survived that craziness right?

Kids that tell you they hate you. Don't follow the rules and lie. Their diets are terrible.

 

[strollingbones]

o dont remind me of the hell of teenagers...

it was kinda funny yesterday...there was an older man.....spinning his wheelchair in the hall....saying in a rather loud voice...."who the hell is in charge of this place and how do i get out"?