I just read a thread in a galaxy far, far away where a woman had been in a relationship for 3-4 years, living with the guy for one. She wants marriage, he has already been married and is very reluctant to go down that path again. I don't think ultimatums work, but on the other hand is it an ultimatum to say "Y'know, you said we were on a certain path, but now you say we aren't and you don't know when we will be, SO: if you don't know in a year, I'm moving on." Also - should she really care? It actually IS "just a piece of paper." They may be together in 20 years, they may not. That would have nothing to do with whether or not they ever got married.