Liberal elite meets Jesus after death (joke?)

[notmyfault2020]

Jesus: Hello. I am Truth Itself.

Liberal: Oh... I've heard of truth.. didn't like it much, have to say

J: But you knew you should have followed Truth..

L: Yeh.. But I just kept winning by LYING

J: Until now

L: Uh... (gulp) yeh... What do you mean? Maybe I am getting what you mean... slowly.. and mostly due to the fact that my ass seems to be burning all the sudden. Help!

J: I could have helped you while you lived on Earth but you didn't want to be bothered with Me

L: Well... I was busy

J: Too busy for Truth.. vis a vis the ultimate meaning of life.. Didn't you find that life as a big liar to be quite shallow and unfulfilling?

L: Yes, I did... Ouch.. Could you turn down the heat a tad? Then we could have us a great little chat.. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Hey, I thought You were merciful?

J: I am merciful to those who TRY.

L: You *&^%$#@ Turn off this damn heat! I was NOT a really bad person. I voted for the right person.. or the one I thought was that..

J: Another lie... Away with you

L: It's too hot! I can't stand it... It's too.........ahhhhhhhhh

 

[Lisa558]

None of that will ever happen because nobody meets Jesus.

But good people of ALL religions have a share in The World to Come. At least that’s what Judaism teaches.

 

[White 6]

Jesus: Hello. I am Truth Itself.

Liberal: Oh... I've heard of truth.. didn't like it much, have to say

J: But you knew you should have followed Truth..

L: Yeh.. But I just kept winning by LYING

J: Until now

L: Uh... (gulp) yeh... What do you mean? Maybe I am getting what you mean... slowly.. and mostly due to the fact that my ass seems to be burning all the sudden. Help!

J: I could have helped you while you lived on Earth but you didn't want to be bothered with Me

L: Well... I was busy

J: Too busy for Truth.. vis a vis the ultimate meaning of life.. Didn't you find that life as a big liar to be quite shallow and unfulfilling?

L: Yes, I did... Ouch.. Could you turn down the heat a tad? Then we could have us a great little chat.. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Hey, I thought You were merciful?

J: I am merciful to those who TRY.

L: You *&^%$#@ Turn off this damn heat! I was NOT a really bad person. I voted for the right person.. or the one I thought was that..

J: Another lie... Away with you

L: It's too hot! I can't stand it... It's too.........ahhhhhhhhh

This is not a Zone 1 thread, even in potential. But, contrary to the policy of Not Moving, but Killing Zone 1 threads that are not Zone 1 proper on start, I am moving it to General Discussion (after considering Humor Forum), as I can't bring myself to kill it due to the creative effort, you put in, which I actually appreciate. I deal with the ass chewings or remarks of my peers later, as nothing goes unnoticed.

 

[August West]

Jesus: Hello. I am Truth Itself.

Liberal: Oh... I've heard of truth.. didn't like it much, have to say

J: But you knew you should have followed Truth..

L: Yeh.. But I just kept winning by LYING

J: Until now

L: Uh... (gulp) yeh... What do you mean? Maybe I am getting what you mean... slowly.. and mostly due to the fact that my ass seems to be burning all the sudden. Help!

J: I could have helped you while you lived on Earth but you didn't want to be bothered with Me

L: Well... I was busy

J: Too busy for Truth.. vis a vis the ultimate meaning of life.. Didn't you find that life as a big liar to be quite shallow and unfulfilling?

L: Yes, I did... Ouch.. Could you turn down the heat a tad? Then we could have us a great little chat.. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Hey, I thought You were merciful?

J: I am merciful to those who TRY.

L: You *&^%$#@ Turn off this damn heat! I was NOT a really bad person. I voted for the right person.. or the one I thought was that..

J: Another lie... Away with you

L: It's too hot! I can't stand it... It's too.........ahhhhhhhhh

Mindless babbling. Why?

 

[rightwinger]

 

[Lisa558]

View attachment 740426

If they are hungry, let them feel the pride that comes from a job and taking care of oneself instead of living off of other people’s earnings.

If they are sick and unable to work, they get Medicaid.

If they have violated the spirit of the law by making false asylum claims, send them back to their home and let them apply through proper channels, like honest people.

 

[rightwinger]

If they are hungry, let them feel the pride that comes from a job and taking care of oneself instead of living off of other people’s earnings.

If they are sick and unable to work, they get Medicaid.

If they have violated the spirit of the law by making false asylum claims, send them back to their home and let them apply through proper channels, like honest people.

All of which Conservatives oppose

Thanks for agreeing

 

[MarcATL]

Which one is more of a problem to you OP, the liberal or the elite part?

 

[Rambunctious]

Joke or funny story thread????
I have a funny story....
I bought a red corvette two years ago and one day I took it out and opened her up on the highway...
At about 170 MPH I noticed a highway patrol car behind me struggling to keep up...
So I pulled over and waited for him... he walked up to my window and said do you know how fast you were going and I said well faster than you... he wasn't happy but he looked over my new car and said look I don't blame you for wanting to open this car up but you have to slow down... he said... I'll tell you what... If you can give me an original explanation for why you were driving so fast I'll let you off with a warning but I'm telling you I've heard them all...
So I said well my ex wife left me for a Highway Patrolman and I was afraid you were trying to bring her back....

 

[notmyfault2020]

This is not a Zone 1 thread, even in potential. But, contrary to the policy of Not Moving, but Killing Zone 1 threads that are not Zone 1 proper on start, I am moving it to General Discussion (after considering Humor Forum), as I can't bring myself to kill it due to the creative effort, you put in, which I actually appreciate. I deal with the ass chewings or remarks of my peers later, as nothing goes unnoticed.

ok... i get the gist of this

guess that's what counts..

 

[White 6]

If they are hungry, let them feel the pride that comes from a job and taking care of oneself instead of living off of other people’s earnings.

If they are sick and unable to work, they get Medicaid.

If they have violated the spirit of the law by making false asylum claims, send them back to their home and let them apply through proper channels, like honest people.

G'morning Lisa. Nice post. As you know by now, I am a shitty creative writer, myself.

 

[notmyfault2020]

WRONG



Jesus is both Love AND Justice

You forgot-- as all liberals do-- that last one... you know, the J word..

JUSTICE

an amazing concept...

you ought to try it some time

Justice means that LAWS (I know... another unfamiliar word to you liberals...sorry about that) are meant to be obeyed unless somehow they violate God's Laws, and few understand how letting millions of STRANGERS (logic dictates some will be violent, maybe even 50% or more) into our country is a good thing that warrants breaking our LAWS (look that word up in a dictionary).

Don't like the immigration laws? Then work to change them.. You don't give a finger to legitimately made LAWS (have u looked that word up yet?) and cause an invasion of a country where the illegals rob, rape and murder legal, didn't-ask-for-this citizens. Justice dictates that some groups in our world are more deserving of help than others.. Those who break the law are less deserving in the minds of most of us..

(It's really bad when things that should go without saying.. cannot go without saying)

 

[rightwinger]

 

[Lisa558]

All of which Conservatives oppose

Thanks for agreeing

Conservatives oppose people getting a job? People unable to work getting Medicaid? People applying for legal immigration through normal channels?

News to me.

 

[Lisa558]

View attachment 740431

Back then, there weren’t all these unfilled openings at Target and Walmart and MCDonalds and Sephora and every business in town.

 

[rightwinger]

Conservatives oppose people getting a job? People unable to work getting Medicaid? People applying for legal immigration through normal channels?

News to me.

When did Jesus ever look at a poor person and say……Get a JOB!

 

[Lisa558]

When did Jesus ever look at a poor person and say……Get a JOB!

Different times. There weren’t thousands of unfilled jobs a short bus ride away.

 

[rightwinger]

Different times. There weren’t thousands of unfilled jobs a short bus ride away.

There were plenty of slave positions they could take

 

[Zincwarrior]

Jesus: Hello. I am Truth Itself.

Liberal: Oh... I've heard of truth.. didn't like it much, have to say

J: But you knew you should have followed Truth..

L: Yeh.. But I just kept winning by LYING

J: Until now

L: Uh... (gulp) yeh... What do you mean? Maybe I am getting what you mean... slowly.. and mostly due to the fact that my ass seems to be burning all the sudden. Help!

J: I could have helped you while you lived on Earth but you didn't want to be bothered with Me

L: Well... I was busy

J: Too busy for Truth.. vis a vis the ultimate meaning of life.. Didn't you find that life as a big liar to be quite shallow and unfulfilling?

L: Yes, I did... Ouch.. Could you turn down the heat a tad? Then we could have us a great little chat.. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Hey, I thought You were merciful?

J: I am merciful to those who TRY.

L: You *&^%$#@ Turn off this damn heat! I was NOT a really bad person. I voted for the right person.. or the one I thought was that..

J: Another lie... Away with you

L: It's too hot! I can't stand it... It's too.........ahhhhhhhhh

My bold above
So Trump is going to Hell?

 

[strollingbones]

what does it say in matthew? do yall even read the bible you claim to follow?