Laws of life

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Merlin1047, Oct 10, 2004.

  1. Merlin1047
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    Merlin1047 Senior Member

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    1.THE LAW OF COMMON SENSE - Never accept a drink from a urologist.

    2.THE LAW OF REALITY - Never get into fights with ugly people, they have
    nothing to lose.

    3.THE LAW OF SELF SACRIFICE - When you starve with a tiger, the tiger
    starves last.

    4.THE LAW OF VOLUNTEERING - If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had
    better let him lead.

    5.THE LAW OF AVOIDING OVERSELL - When putting cheese in a mousetrap,
    always leave room for the mouse.

    6.THE LAW OF MOTIVATION - Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

    7.BOOB'S LAW - You always find something in the last place you look.

    8.WEILER'S LAW - Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do
    it himself.

    9.LAW OF PROBABLE DISPERSAL - Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly
    distributed.

    10.LAW OF VOLUNTEER LABOR - People are always available for work in the
    past tense.

    11.CONWAY'S LAW - In any organization there is one person who knows what
    is going on. That person must be fired.

    12.IRON LAW OF DISTRIBUTION - Them that has, gets.

    13.LAW OF CYBERNETIC ENTOMOLOGY - There is always one more bug.

    14.LAW OF DRUNKENNESS - You can't fall off the floor.

    15.HELLER'S LAW - The first myth of management is that it exists.

    16.OSBORNE'S LAW - Variables won't; constants aren't.

    17.MAIN'S LAW - For every action there is an equal and opposite government
    program.
     
  2. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    The probability of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side up is directly related to the price of the carpet.
     

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