1.THE LAW OF COMMON SENSE - Never accept a drink from a urologist. 2.THE LAW OF REALITY - Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. 3.THE LAW OF SELF SACRIFICE - When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last. 4.THE LAW OF VOLUNTEERING - If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead. 5.THE LAW OF AVOIDING OVERSELL - When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. 6.THE LAW OF MOTIVATION - Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster. 7.BOOB'S LAW - You always find something in the last place you look. 8.WEILER'S LAW - Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. 9.LAW OF PROBABLE DISPERSAL - Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. 10.LAW OF VOLUNTEER LABOR - People are always available for work in the past tense. 11.CONWAY'S LAW - In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired. 12.IRON LAW OF DISTRIBUTION - Them that has, gets. 13.LAW OF CYBERNETIC ENTOMOLOGY - There is always one more bug. 14.LAW OF DRUNKENNESS - You can't fall off the floor. 15.HELLER'S LAW - The first myth of management is that it exists. 16.OSBORNE'S LAW - Variables won't; constants aren't. 17.MAIN'S LAW - For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.