In 2016... What the hell does "Gay" even mean?

[Boss]

In your last example, the participants would still need to be attracted to the opposite gender. It is possible for people to have sex with someone they feel no attraction towards.

Okay... so this raises the question... how are you and I (society) aware of what someone else finds sexually appealing? How can WE make that determination? How can anyone, other than the individual? If we can't... aren't the labels superfluous?

 

[ChrisL]

I don't know why you would find it confusing.

Are you going to now join the bigot and start this shit again? I don't find it confusing what homosexuality is. I find it confusing what society views as "gay" in 2016. I agree with your definition but I don't think everyone agrees with us. The bigot claimed I am a homosexual because I can look at another man and recognize he is sexually attractive, even though I am not sexually attracted to him... that conflicts with our view that there has to be a sexual attraction. And I am still unclear on bisexual people, are they not homosexual when they are attracted to the same gender? So by our definition, you can be homosexual and never engage in a homosexual act, or you can engage in homosexual acts and never be a homosexual.

How can you be so confused? It's a pretty simple concept. Bisexual. Bi equals 2. Bisexual means attraction to BOTH sexes. Easy. There is absolutely nothing to be confused about.

Why do you keep saying I am confused? I totally get it... a homosexual person can be homosexual and never engage in homosexual activity and a bisexual person can engage in homosexual activity and never be homosexual. And if two homosexual males and two homosexual females engage in an orgy, none of them are homosexuals anymore. Got it!

What is your problem? There are valid definitions. Go look them up!!!

God, you try to help a person out . . . .

 

[Boss]

What is your problem? There are valid definitions. Go look them up!!!

God, you try to help a person out . . . .

Good lord, girl.... How many times to I need to point out the thread OP is not about what the dictionary defines as homosexual. Do you think I don't have enough sense to be able to look that up? I am trying to have a bit of a deeper conversation here... maybe that's over your head? Getting butt-hurt because I won't just accept some smart-ass quip of what the dictionary defines, is a little bit child-like and immature. I really thought you had more depth... was I wrong?

 

[ChrisL]

What is your problem? There are valid definitions. Go look them up!!!

God, you try to help a person out . . . .

Good lord, girl.... How many times to I need to point out the thread OP is not about what the dictionary defines as homosexual. Do you think I don't have enough sense to be able to look that up? I am trying to have a bit of a deeper conversation here... maybe that's over your head? Getting butt-hurt because I won't just accept some smart-ass quip of what the dictionary defines, is a little bit child-like and immature. I really thought you had more depth... was I wrong?

What are you asking then?

 

[Boss]

What are you asking then?

I guess I am asking why we, as a society, need to label people? I mean, to distill it down to a single question, I guess that's what I am asking. I really wanted to just have an open discussion about this between mature adults without all the banal jawboning.

 

[Boss]

Ah, but there you go....pansexual is another label. I've also seen queer used to describe someone who refuses to categorize sexuality ( NOW Updates Acronym: LGBTQIA | National Organization for Women ).

OMG... I think I am going to form the LGBTQIA-CDEFHJKMNOPRSUVWXYZ! fuck it! lol

 

[ChrisL]

What are you asking then?

I guess I am asking why we, as a society, need to label people? I mean, to distill it down to a single question, I guess that's what I am asking. I really wanted to just have an open discussion about this between mature adults without all the banal jawboning.

There are many different reasons why we would "label" people. One is for convenience sake.

 

[Boss]

There are many different reasons why we would "label" people. One is for convenience sake.

What do you mean? Explain please.

 

[ChrisL]

There are many different reasons why we would "label" people. One is for convenience sake.

What do you mean? Explain please.

What do YOU mean, what do I mean? There are many different reasons why we label people, one being for the sake of convenience.

 

[ChrisL]

I consider a "descriptive" adjective rather than a "label." Lol. I would say, "that guy is gay" rather than saying, "that guy prefers to have sex with other men."

 

[ChrisL]

What are you asking then?

I guess I am asking why we, as a society, need to label people? I mean, to distill it down to a single question, I guess that's what I am asking. I really wanted to just have an open discussion about this between mature adults without all the banal jawboning.

You sound like a libtard.

 

[Boss]

There are many different reasons why we would "label" people. One is for convenience sake.

What do you mean? Explain please.

What do YOU mean, what do I mean? There are many different reasons why we label people, one being for the sake of convenience.

I mean, explain what you mean by convenience? Why do you need a convenient label to apply to someone regarding their personal sexual preferences? What difference does it make to you? Why is it important to distinguish them with a label? How do you even know if your label is completely accurate? Maybe you're assuming something that isn't actually true based on a presumption or hearsay? Maybe you are assuming based on a stereotype? How are you certain about it? You said yourself, "gay" is when someone is sexually attracted exclusively to the same gender.... how do you know this for sure if you're not that individual?

 

[Boss]

What are you asking then?

I guess I am asking why we, as a society, need to label people? I mean, to distill it down to a single question, I guess that's what I am asking. I really wanted to just have an open discussion about this between mature adults without all the banal jawboning.

You sound like a libtard.

Well now, that was just totally uncalled for!

 

[Montrovant]

In your last example, the participants would still need to be attracted to the opposite gender. It is possible for people to have sex with someone they feel no attraction towards.

Okay... so this raises the question... how are you and I (society) aware of what someone else finds sexually appealing? How can WE make that determination? How can anyone, other than the individual? If we can't... aren't the labels superfluous?

Generally a person will self-identify. How can we make the determination that a person is a liberal? How can we make the determination that a person is a Christian? When it comes to someone's beliefs, we either take their word for it or we make a judgement based on their words and actions.

What makes the labels superfluous? Generally that word is used to mean extra, more than needed. If anything, these types of labels are an attempt to avoid superfluous explanation about a person.

 

[Montrovant]

There are many different reasons why we would "label" people. One is for convenience sake.

What do you mean? Explain please.

What do YOU mean, what do I mean? There are many different reasons why we label people, one being for the sake of convenience.

I mean, explain what you mean by convenience? Why do you need a convenient label to apply to someone regarding their personal sexual preferences? What difference does it make to you? Why is it important to distinguish them with a label? How do you even know if your label is completely accurate? Maybe you're assuming something that isn't actually true based on a presumption or hearsay? Maybe you are assuming based on a stereotype? How are you certain about it? You said yourself, "gay" is when someone is sexually attracted exclusively to the same gender.... how do you know this for sure if you're not that individual?

I don't think anyone is claiming that labels are always completely accurate, or that one person can know the inner thoughts of another.

Do you have this issue with labels about other aspects of a person, or only sexuality?

 

[ChrisL]

There are many different reasons why we would "label" people. One is for convenience sake.

What do you mean? Explain please.

What do YOU mean, what do I mean? There are many different reasons why we label people, one being for the sake of convenience.

I mean, explain what you mean by convenience? Why do you need a convenient label to apply to someone regarding their personal sexual preferences? What difference does it make to you? Why is it important to distinguish them with a label? How do you even know if your label is completely accurate? Maybe you're assuming something that isn't actually true based on a presumption or hearsay? Maybe you are assuming based on a stereotype? How are you certain about it? You said yourself, "gay" is when someone is sexually attracted exclusively to the same gender.... how do you know this for sure if you're not that individual?

If a friend said about a gay guy, "oh that guy is really cute!" I would say, "he's gay."

 

[Boss]

In your last example, the participants would still need to be attracted to the opposite gender. It is possible for people to have sex with someone they feel no attraction towards.

Okay... so this raises the question... how are you and I (society) aware of what someone else finds sexually appealing? How can WE make that determination? How can anyone, other than the individual? If we can't... aren't the labels superfluous?

Generally a person will self-identify. How can we make the determination that a person is a liberal? How can we make the determination that a person is a Christian? When it comes to someone's beliefs, we either take their word for it or we make a judgement based on their words and actions.

What makes the labels superfluous? Generally that word is used to mean extra, more than needed. If anything, these types of labels are an attempt to avoid superfluous explanation about a person.

Well, with a person's political views or religious views we can discern what we believe they are... but with their sexual desires, it's a different matter. Unless they express those desires, we don't know. And even if they express them, we still don't know if they are being honest.

I think 'superfluous' is appropriate because, what do we need the labels for? We don't even know for sure if they are accurate. What purpose do the labels serve? With religious or political labels, at least they serve to let us know how to converse or behave around a person.... you don't want to go hurling the f-bomb around a Christian or strike up a conversation about conservatism around a liberal... but with an ambiguous and possibly inaccurate label regarding sexual desire, what purpose does it serve socially? And again, I don't mean intimately... that falls under self-identification.

While some gay people will tell everyone they are gay, a lot of gay people never mention it. I have a lot of friends who I suspect are probably gay because of what I observe but I don't KNOW they are... they've not told me they are. It doesn't matter to me, I'm not going to treat them any differently or think differently about them. I've never asked them because it's none of my business.

 

[Boss]

I don't think anyone is claiming that labels are always completely accurate, or that one person can know the inner thoughts of another.

Do you have this issue with labels about other aspects of a person, or only sexuality?

I'm not big on labels in general because I think labels often denote stereotypes. If people wish to apply their own label, that's fine... I don't have an issue. I think my issue is with other people assuming things and applying labels... that seems bigoted and prejudiced to me.

If a friend said about a gay guy, "oh that guy is really cute!" I would say, "he's gay."

How do you know if someone is gay? Did they tell you they sexually desire same gender exclusively, or did you presume they are gay based on something you saw or something they did or said? And... can a guy not be really cute AND gay at the same time? What if he is not really gay but bisexual? How do you know what that person's sexual desires really are?

 

[ChrisL]

I don't think anyone is claiming that labels are always completely accurate, or that one person can know the inner thoughts of another.

Do you have this issue with labels about other aspects of a person, or only sexuality?

I'm not big on labels in general because I think labels often denote stereotypes. If people wish to apply their own label, that's fine... I don't have an issue. I think my issue is with other people assuming things and applying labels... that seems bigoted and prejudiced to me.

If a friend said about a gay guy, "oh that guy is really cute!" I would say, "he's gay."

How do you know if someone is gay? Did they tell you they sexually desire same gender exclusively, or did you presume they are gay based on something you saw or something they did or said? And... can a guy not be really cute AND gay at the same time? What if he is not really gay but bisexual? How do you know what that person's sexual desires really are?

Because they are GAY. Duh.

 

[ChrisL]

You are annoying. Wicked annoying. Anyone ever tell you that before?