I'm really disappointed with some people in my family.

[Moonglow]

I did word one part wrong. I would call my mom every day to check on my grandpa, not on my selfish uncle. I would hear about the selfish uncle whether I wanted to or not. The uncle that borrowed the money is NOT the same one who is selfish. The selfish one is dirt ass broke. The doctor isn't. The selfish one was selfish in that my grandfather didn't want the TV on in the hospital room, but whenever my uncle would be the one to sit with him for the day, he would put the TV on. He really wasn't much help, he was just selfish. It wasn't about him, it was about my grandfather. Whatever my grandpa wanted, he should have gotten. He would show up late on his days to spend the day with him, he would leave sometimes to check on his cat, etc. It was ridiculous.

It's not about me bringing anyone to court, it's about expecting my family to uphold a debt that my uncle took in to go to medical school. He has benefited 100 fold from that money, and is by far the wealthiest member of the family. My family is fretting about money, because after the funeral my grandpa didn't have much money left in his account. I told my dad he's sitting on 60,000 dollars, collect it. He said "I don't want to be the evil villain." I said well then don't bitch to me about money. Every single one of my grandfathers kids will lose out on 10,000 dollars of inheritance because of my uncle not paying back his loan. They money could also be used to fix up the house to sell, because it's in terrible shape and not worth much as it is. It's the oldest house for miles in all directions. It was the first built on this side of town, a town of now more than 150,000 people.

I really appreciate you guys' kind words. I told my dad to be thankful, he kept his dad, with a right mind until the very end, up until he was almost 70. That he should be thankful for. He will be missed, he was a nice guy and funny as hell, even on his death bed. Up until the end he was himself. The heart failure was depriving his brain of oxygen so he started to say some bizarre stuff at the end, but may he rest in peace.

Well this is why we have courts and laws -- to settle probate issues such as these.

Anytime you are dealing in big bucks in the tens of thousands even your own family members will often try to screw you. My baby sister is exactly like that.

Your baby sitter tries to screw you?

 

[Kat]

Seems we all have someone in our family like that.

 

[Marion Morrison]

I guess there's always that one person in the family that's out to get theirs.

Fortunately I've only seen that twice in mine.

I have a really good family.

 

[yiostheoy]

Your baby sitter tries to screw you?

She tries to screw everybody ... OUT OF MONEY.

 

[Moonglow]

Your baby sitter tries to screw you?

She tries to screw everybody ... OUT OF MONEY.

Well I thought so, most don't go for the elders unless it's a porno...

 

[Care4all]

question? are all children receiving equal cuts in the will? if so, wouldn't the lawyer handling this give the doc his equal share MINUS the loan amounts he owed your grampa on the promissory notes?

 

[airplanemechanic]

Yes, but they're not getting a lawyer involved. You gotta understand this family, they're grieving and just want all of this to "go away." They're not doing it right. The only lawyer they have is a family lawyer we've known since moses parted the red sea that's giving them guidance. But I was told that the will doesn't specify who gets what so they're just dividing everything by 6. But forgiving the loan means that my uncle not only doesn't owe 60,000, he'll get some money from the inheritance. He shouldn't get anything considering how much he owes. I did point out to my dad that since he owes 60 grand to 6 people including himself, he's only responsible for 5/6ths of it, and can go after his ex wife for half if he wants since they co-signed this loan.

But I'm a grandchild, I have no skin in this game. I just watch this family and laugh. A bunch of college grads doing such a poor job of taking care of business. I'm disappointed in them if they don't do this right. And I'll lose respect for my family, especially my rich uncle. The rich uncle also did the least to help out. Now he lived the furthermost away, but also has the money to get here if he needed to. He didn't do much at all from what I hear, and in 2 months visited once.

 

[jillian]

I guess I just needed to vent about this. I'll try to make it short but it is what it is.

My grandfather recent passed. Before his passing, he was hospitalized with heart failure (not a heart attack) and required around the clock care because he would try to get out of bed and he couldn't. He would fall, etc. Well, the family got together and made a schedule where the kids would alternate days and nights and such so he would always have someone with him. Well, that was great, except for one of them. He always has been about himself. It's depressing. When we needed him he would think about himself first, then his father.

He caused many blow-ups between family members who have never had fights before. I would call my mom and ask daily how he was doing and I'd get a 2 minute update on him and 20 minutes about the drama in the family. I thought my family was immune to this. I thought we were closer than this. I mean right now I'm out of work and live the furthermost away of any of the grandkids and was really the only grandchild who drove 60 miles to relieve people and give them a chance to rest, and I swear I did more than some of his own kids did.

Now, come to find out the youngest son borrowed money from his dad to go to medical school, never paid it back, with two signed promissory notes. We totaled them out, he owes 58,000 dollars with interest. He's a doctor, making a fortune, yet none of the family wants to make him pay his debt. These loans were one of the last things my grandfather mentioned before he passed, and the family doesn't have the balls to collect on the debt that their own father wanted collected. My uncle didn't pay him back and waited for him to die so he could get away with it.

Sad shit man.

that is shame. families can have issues after the death of a family member. any debt collected would be the responsibility of the executor/administrator of the estate. any heirs would have the right to challenge the actions of that executor/administrator. if it means a lot, see an attorney in your area.

sorry about the discord and the loss.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

I guess I just needed to vent about this. I'll try to make it short but it is what it is.

My grandfather recent passed. Before his passing, he was hospitalized with heart failure (not a heart attack) and required around the clock care because he would try to get out of bed and he couldn't. He would fall, etc. Well, the family got together and made a schedule where the kids would alternate days and nights and such so he would always have someone with him. Well, that was great, except for one of them. He always has been about himself. It's depressing. When we needed him he would think about himself first, then his father.

He caused many blow-ups between family members who have never had fights before. I would call my mom and ask daily how he was doing and I'd get a 2 minute update on him and 20 minutes about the drama in the family. I thought my family was immune to this. I thought we were closer than this. I mean right now I'm out of work and live the furthermost away of any of the grandkids and was really the only grandchild who drove 60 miles to relieve people and give them a chance to rest, and I swear I did more than some of his own kids did.

Now, come to find out the youngest son borrowed money from his dad to go to medical school, never paid it back, with two signed promissory notes. We totaled them out, he owes 58,000 dollars with interest. He's a doctor, making a fortune, yet none of the family wants to make him pay his debt. These loans were one of the last things my grandfather mentioned before he passed, and the family doesn't have the balls to collect on the debt that their own father wanted collected. My uncle didn't pay him back and waited for him to die so he could get away with it.

Sad shit man.

All you can do is get tough and tell the freeloaders to get fucked or pay the price on your end to preserve the peace.

I've been through the same situation with a few different twists.
In my case my brother stole every dime my mother had saved over 20 years and left my wife and I to pay for her assisted living and all other expenses at the end of her life.

Needless to say we dont talk anymore.