Explaining life to a 5 year old

[ZooGardens]

My kid just turned 5 and He asked me if he can go to private school.

I didn't know what to say, because I know the kid is 5, and his ability to mean what he says, and to understand me and what I am saying to him is far, far, far less than even a teenager.

So I told my kid...
Sit down, and pay attention....
You're not in trouble... But I need to know, that you understand me clearly.... have you got that ?!!!

I pulled out a bunch of play money... and I pulled out a stack of $100 play money bills.

I said to him that This is what I have give to a private school, for you to go there, does this stack of money... fill up the entire room ?

He said no dad...

Then I said good....
well then I don't have enough money to fill up my entire room, just for you to go to many different schools.

So you need to behave yourself, and learn, and do what the teacher says do.

Then I pulled out the Constitution of the United States, and I read it in simple terms, so that he understands it.

I said...

You have the right to say just whatever you think you want to say any time.
You have the right to believe in God.

You have the right to be part of a group.
I pulled out a bunch of toy plastic soldiers, and I said, this is a group... you are allowed to join it.

I showed him a news paper... and then showed him an article... and I said that you have the freedom to be the guy who draws these pictures and writes the stuff under it.

I showed him a toy gun, and I said... you are allowed to have this.

I put his toy badge on myself, and put him in plastic handcuffs.... and I told him that.. if this ever happens to you... you don't have to answer any of my questions, you have the right to not be in trouble, unless you are in trouble.

Then I said...

So Where do you think you have these rights ? do you have them in the street ? or inside somebody elses house ?

He said "in the street".

I said, that's correct.

What happens when you are in somebody elses house ?
He said "I get sent to time out!"

I laughed too... then I said "that's correct"...
To a certain point...

But here's what will happen...

You will be put out of there, and told to go to the street.
And then I told him this...

Public School is the street, the school that you want.... is somebody else's house.

Do you understand ?
He said yes.

So I said... let me hear you tell me what you learned.

So he said "Public school is the street, I have my rights in the street, but in the school I want is somebody else's house, there I have to do the rules, and if I get put into the street, you have to buy me a new school, and you can't do it"

I said, yep... that's it.

So are you ready for it ?
He said yeah....




Then...
I told my kids.....
At the more competitive private school....

They most likely will never have to fight in the hallways...
They will most likely not be harassed or bullied...
They won't experience a whole lot of that stuff.

Then I showed my kids a paper test with 100 questions on it...

I said to them this..

At the school down the street from here you can pass, and not fail... by answering questions number 1 all the way down to 60 correctly...

But at the school you want to go to, you may have to answer correctly... 1 all the way down to number 75 or 80.

Its More similar to a driver's test, than a regular school test.

So here's the ground rules...

1. You have to go to take boxing and martial arts, and go to the gym, and take care of yourself physically.

2.We're going to make sure that your knowledge is growing, so You're going to have to study books that I buy, like those zoo books, and science books, and math books and geography books etc etc..

Number 3...
You're also going to Sylvan or Huntington learning centers for a few hours a day...
To make sure that you're learning, and doing your homework.

Number 4...

When you get older, You have to watch things like Jail and prison documentaries, drug documentaries, crime problem documentaries... when you're a little bit older..

So that you know that the world isn't all a bed of roses, and so that you know where your bread is buttered on.





So What do you think about what I did ?

I didn't mean to be so tough on the 5 year old... but I teaching him something I don't think is too much.

 

[Auld Phart]

Sounded fairly good.

But I"m long pass the time of telling 5 year olds about life.

 

[saveliberty]

Maybe just answer the kid's question sans War and Peace?

What caused the question?

 

[ZooGardens]

Maybe just answer the kid's question sans War and Peace?

What caused the question?

Because he heard something about private schools, and "Friend's Schools" and Catholic Schools and stuff, while me, my dad, my sister and my girlfriend and my kids were at the table at dinner.

 

[Steven_R]

My kids wanted something. I just told them "why are you bothering me? You're your stepdad's problem now."

Just kidding. My kids don't know how to find me.

 

[Timmy]

I'm calling child protective services !

 

[saveliberty]

What did he hear about private schools?

 

[ZooGardens]

What did he hear about private schools?

The generally better quality, higher standards, and the selective entry process and the safer environment, and the outcomes for their graduates.

 

[Timmy]

What did he hear about private schools?

The generally better quality, higher standards, and the selective entry process and the safer environment, and the outcomes for their graduates.

Yeah, cause they toss out any troubled kids or disabled kids .

Do you live in a crappy town wh a shitty school district ?

 

[ZooGardens]

What did he hear about private schools?

The generally better quality, higher standards, and the selective entry process and the safer environment, and the outcomes for their graduates.

Yeah, cause they toss out any troubled kids or disabled kids .

Do you live in a crappy town wh a shitty school district ?

A private school doesn't have to deal with those kinds of kids, and private schools also exist for those kinds of kids.
A private school exists for the better outcomes for the kids.

I don't have to live amongst them inside my own house either.

I didn't get a job, by cussing out the boss at the interview and telling him its because my mom beat me up 20 years ago.

 

[Timmy]

What did he hear about private schools?

The generally better quality, higher standards, and the selective entry process and the safer environment, and the outcomes for their graduates.

Yeah, cause they toss out any troubled kids or disabled kids .

Do you live in a crappy town wh a shitty school district ?

A private school doesn't have to deal with those kinds of kids, and private schools also exist for those kinds of kids.
A private school exists for the better outcomes for the kids.

Yeah, like really disabled . You can't just warehouse undesirables . Damn that constitution!

 

[ZooGardens]

What did he hear about private schools?

The generally better quality, higher standards, and the selective entry process and the safer environment, and the outcomes for their graduates.

Yeah, cause they toss out any troubled kids or disabled kids .

Do you live in a crappy town wh a shitty school district ?

A private school doesn't have to deal with those kinds of kids, and private schools also exist for those kinds of kids.
A private school exists for the better outcomes for the kids.

Yeah, like really disabled . You can't just warehouse undesirables . Damn that constitution!

Yes we can warehouse undesirables, the prison is loaded with them and so is the mental hospitals.

And even if we couldn't.... a private school sets private rules, and private rules are stricter than the constitution.

I didn't get a job by cussing out the boss, and then telling him "sorry, I didn't mean to cuss you out, but I'm mad because my mom beat me up 20 years ago".

 

[Timmy]

What did he hear about private schools?

The generally better quality, higher standards, and the selective entry process and the safer environment, and the outcomes for their graduates.

Yeah, cause they toss out any troubled kids or disabled kids .

Do you live in a crappy town wh a shitty school district ?

A private school doesn't have to deal with those kinds of kids, and private schools also exist for those kinds of kids.
A private school exists for the better outcomes for the kids.

Yeah, like really disabled . You can't just warehouse undesirables . Damn that constitution!

Yes we can warehouse undesirables, the prison is loaded with them.

And even if we couldn't.... a private school sets private rules, and private rules are stricter than the constitution.

I didn't get a job by cussing out the boss, and then telling him "sorry, I didn't mean to cuss you out, but I'm mad because my mom beat me up 20 years ago".

Actually private schools often don't have strict rules when it comes to staffing .

What if , god forbid, it turns out your kid has a learning disability ? Should he be cast off as some lost cause ?

 

[ZooGardens]

The generally better quality, higher standards, and the selective entry process and the safer environment, and the outcomes for their graduates.

Yeah, cause they toss out any troubled kids or disabled kids .

Do you live in a crappy town wh a shitty school district ?

A private school doesn't have to deal with those kinds of kids, and private schools also exist for those kinds of kids.
A private school exists for the better outcomes for the kids.

Yeah, like really disabled . You can't just warehouse undesirables . Damn that constitution!

Yes we can warehouse undesirables, the prison is loaded with them.

And even if we couldn't.... a private school sets private rules, and private rules are stricter than the constitution.

I didn't get a job by cussing out the boss, and then telling him "sorry, I didn't mean to cuss you out, but I'm mad because my mom beat me up 20 years ago".

Actually private schools often don't have strict rules when it comes to staffing .

What if , god forbid, it turns out your kid has a learning disability ? Should he be cast off as some lost cause ?

If my kid can't meet the standards of the private school, yes he should be put out... private school is a privilege, not a right.
You don't have the right to privileges.

And there are private schools that deal with the learning disabled, and they also have better outcomes for their students, depending on how disabled the kid is.
Obviously somebody with severe autism that beats himself up and can't speak IS a lost cause.

 

[Timmy]

True. But those private schools are super expensive .

I just get tired if everyone always shitting on our schools . Unlike many countries , we educate ALL children.

 

[jknowgood]

True. But those private schools are super expensive .

I just get tired if everyone always shitting on our schools . Unlike many countries , we educate ALL children.

We used to educate our kids, today they indoctrinate our kids.

 

[ZooGardens]

True. But those private schools are super expensive .

I just get tired if everyone always shitting on our schools . Unlike many countries , we educate ALL children.

But not all kids are capable of achieving, not all kids come from stable families, not all kids have the same attitude about learning and not all kids can afford the privilege of a better program than what is tax paid.

Not all kids will go out into the work force or to the Marine Corps Paris Island..
There are future deathrow inmates and future prison lifers sitting in classrooms today... some of them will wind up there shortly after graduating... others still even before graduating.

Some are bound for group homes...

Those kinds of kids make learning difficult for the rest of the kids, and for a one time deal, we CAN afford better.

 

[waltky]

Did ya tell him about the poll tax...

... the one he gonna have to pay...

... to vote fer class president?

 

[ZooGardens]

I'm also raising my kids... not everybody else's kids

 

[jknowgood]

I'm also raising my kids... not everybody else's kids

I agree I raised my son by myself, with no child support.