Domestic Violence "Epidemic" Afflicting Women? Hardly....

[jillian]

jillian - where I am at least I'm happy to say that the police will arrest and charge the offender for dv. It wasn't that way for many years and to my shame I was part of that, "separate them into other rooms, talk them through it, keep the peace" policy. I did that.

I'm just glad now that when we are very quick to arrest and the person arrested and charged is given the help they need.

Well, you couldn't help the culture you were working in. It was that way in a lot of places. You know, "walk the guy around the block" type stuff.

I like when they're made to go for counseling and anger managment programs. Often, abusers saw that in their younger life, either by being a target of abuse or by seeing the way their father treated their mother. It's a really positive thing if sometimes the cycle can be broken.

 

[Diuretic]

Well, you couldn't help the culture you were working in. It was that way in a lot of places. You know, "walk the guy around the block" type stuff.

I like when they're made to go for counseling and anger managment programs. Often, abusers saw that in their younger life, either by being a target of abuse or by seeing the way their father treated their mother. It's a really positive thing if sometimes the cycle can be broken.

That's it jillian. The cycle has to be broken. I remember thinking that sometimes the first part of that was "you're under arrest". The shock was palpable. In particular the white-collar types. It was/is a great time to get in there and begin rehab. You really do have their attention

 

[jillian]

That's it jillian. The cycle has to be broken. I remember thinking that sometimes the first part of that was "you're under arrest". The shock was palpable. In particular the white-collar types. It was/is a great time to get in there and begin rehab. You really do have their attention

Pretty good attention-getter!

What I find most interesting is that abuse is the one crime that crosses all socio-economic lines.

 

[Diuretic]

Pretty good attention-getter!

What I find most interesting is that abuse is the one crime that crosses all socio-economic lines.

I admit to feeling pleasure at locking them up.

 

[jillian]

I admit to feeling pleasure at locking them up.

I can understand that.

 

[ErikViking]

I admit to feeling pleasure at locking them up.

I can understand that, must be a good side of the police work! But isn't the frustration for the police hard when they can come back and just pick up their abusive behaviour?

Do you think the laws protecting the victims are sufficient?

 

[Nienna]

I can understand that, must be a good side of the police work! But isn't the frustration for the police hard when they can come back and just pick up their abusive behaviour?

Do you think the laws protecting the victims are sufficient?

I was wondering about things along these lines, too. Not so much in laws protecting the victims, but about the abuse cycle, itself. After all, laws aren't much good when the victim willingly returns to the relationship.

However, it seems like it would be easier to rehabilitate the enabler than the abuser. Really, deep down inside, most people can't WANT to be abused. Once they wake up to their ability to erect boundaries in relationships, why would they want to return to being abused?

But an abuser? How often is an abuser really rehabilitated? Especially if returned to the relationship that was abusive. Wouldn't he tend to fall into that "comfortable" pattern of behavior?

 

[ErikViking]

I was wondering about things along these lines, too. Not so much in laws protecting the victims, but about the abuse cycle, itself. After all, laws aren't much good when the victim willingly returns to the relationship.

However, it seems like it would be easier to rehabilitate the enabler than the abuser. Really, deep down inside, most people can't WANT to be abused. Once they wake up to their ability to erect boundaries in relationships, why would they want to return to being abused?

But an abuser? How often is an abuser really rehabilitated? Especially if returned to the relationship that was abusive. Wouldn't he tend to fall into that "comfortable" pattern of behavior?

I think I know what you mean: The enabler is the victim of the abuse? This victim might (not all does, some victims of abuse has to run and hide from a stalking abuser indefinetly) have a sort of pattern that will end the victim up in a similar situation. Is this what you mean?

If freinds and familiy isn't enough to help the victim to break free, maybe some counceling should be provided? Haven't thought about it that way. Those situations are very tragical and alot more complex than it might seem.
"Why did she go back!?!" Isn't a rare comment. And it isn't easy to understand. I think I know a little too little about the mechanics behind that behaviour. Is it love? Fear? Uncertainty or lack of selfrespect? Or a combination?

As for rehabilitating the abuser, it would be best. Second best is to look up. They have choosed violence, they should somehow get to own the problem too thereafter.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

I felt great pleasure busting open the face of a wanker who was beating on his wife and kids once upon a time in Majorca.I can still hear him squealing like a stuck pig and crying for me to leave him alone until he fell unconscious.Spanish police have big guns, They gave me a pat on the back and ushered me away.I got a round of applause from all the customers and staff in Burger King.Am I a hero or what? to me.I have poked my nose into similar situations and almost been beaten to death by the woman, go figure.

Good for you. Vigilante justice has it's place in any free and moral society!

 

[Joz]

................On January 5, 2006, President Bush signed into law the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act, another positive step. This legislation supports and expands ongoing efforts to combat domestic violence, sexual assault, dating violence, and stalking. These are promising advancements — but if we don’t require mandatory jail time, the progress falls on deaf ears.

In the fairy tale of Beauty and the Beast, the woman kisses the beast and he turns into a charming prince. In cases of domestic violence, the scenario is flipped upside down. The "prince" she married transforms into the beast she feared. We need to have tough laws to protect her.

Domestic abuse is not just a "family matter;" it’s a national epidemic. Lets make a woman’s home safe. It’s a matter of life and death.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,197801,00.html

 

[Diuretic]

I can understand that, must be a good side of the police work! But isn't the frustration for the police hard when they can come back and just pick up their abusive behaviour?

Do you think the laws protecting the victims are sufficient?

In a metro area you just do the job day by day and are not aware of the follow-up but up until the last few years it's been woeful. Now at least in my jurisdiction there is a programmed follow-up. For years there was nothing. One of my worst experiences in a small outback town was being called up to the hospital one night to view the body of a woman beaten to death by her husband, a man whom I'd dealt with on at least two occasions and a woman whom I'd dealt with once, when she tried to commit suicide.

The laws protecting the victim are piss weak.

 

[dilloduck]

................On January 5, 2006, President Bush signed into law the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act, another positive step. This legislation supports and expands ongoing efforts to combat domestic violence, sexual assault, dating violence, and stalking. These are promising advancements — but if we don’t require mandatory jail time, the progress falls on deaf ears.

In the fairy tale of Beauty and the Beast, the woman kisses the beast and he turns into a charming prince. In cases of domestic violence, the scenario is flipped upside down. The "prince" she married transforms into the beast she feared. We need to have tough laws to protect her.

Domestic abuse is not just a "family matter;" it’s a national epidemic. Lets make a woman’s home safe. It’s a matter of life and death.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,197801,00.html

The woman just refused want to see the beast in who she was marrying--besides--she could tame that part while she was "fixing" the rest.