Domestic Violence "Epidemic" Afflicting Women? Hardly....

[Diuretic]

How old are you?

Something similar happened to my step-mother, but she lived. I've never seen anyone with their body literally black and blue from head to toe, not a nice sight.

I've been a policeman for 36 years Said.

dmp - there is more to this. Suffice to say I knew her before this incident.

 

[Mr. P]

In 1974 I was called to our local hospital to view the body of a woman beaten to death by her husband. I took note of the bruises on her body. They went from her toes to her scalp. They included her genitals and her breasts. I then went from the room to an outer room and told him he had killed her.

For some reason light-hearted one-liners didn't enter my mind.

There are none. I’ve avoided this thread due to the subject.

I grew-up in a DV situation. The first thing I saw was my mom being choked, her face turned blue. Very blue.
I didn’t know what to do, I was only 8.

I saw much more over the years. It is somewhat painful to think about, talk about to this day. I haven’t read all the thread. But, if anyone and I mean anyone, needs to talk with someone that has “been there”, feel free. It is a true nightmare.

Now, lets put the question to rest, “so you grew-up in it, have you done it too?”. NO NEVER!
It’s never even been a thought.

 

[Said1]

I've been a policeman for 36 years Said.

dmp - there is more to this. Suffice to say I knew her before this incident.

Why did I think you were yonger? Must have been another Diuretic.


Not to make light of the situation or anything.

I haven't counted the actual incidents lately, but there has been at least four incidents over the last several months of husbands killing their wives and families in the city and the surrounding area. Quite unusual and shocking at the same time.

 

[5stringJeff]

I think Darin's original point was not to belittle victims of DV, but to state that it's not an epidemic.

 

[Nienna]

There's no doubt in my mind that there are FAR more men who DON'T commit DV than who DO. However, I can readily believe that it is more of a problem in our country now than previously.

 

[Mr. P]

There's no doubt in my mind that there are FAR more men who DON'T commit DV than who DO. However, I can readily believe that it is more of a problem in our country now than previously.

Don't know that I can agree with that, Mom. Why? When I was young and in this environment no one cared. Call the cops, they may show in a few hours. If they did, they'd pull the old man aside and say go to bed, or some such thing. They didn't remove the problem as they seem to do now. Point is, since the police have changed the way they deal with this you hear about it more. That doesn't mean there's more now that when I was a kid.

 

[Diuretic]

Why did I think you were yonger? Must have been another Diuretic.


Not to make light of the situation or anything.

I haven't counted the actual incidents lately, but there has been at least four incidents over the last several months of husbands killing their wives and families in the city and the surrounding area. Quite unusual and shocking at the same time.

Nope, it's the regular one. Still an idealist after all these years.

 

[Said1]

Don't know that I can agree with that, Mom. Why? When I was young and in this environment no one cared. Call the cops, they may show in a few hours. If they did, they'd pull the old man aside and say go to bed, or some such thing. They didn't remove the problem as they seem to do now. Point is, since the police have changed the way they deal with this you hear about it more. That doesn't mean there's more now that when I was a kid.

People talk about it more too, it's not cloaked in shame the way it once was. Not that all shame is removed from those in that situation,, but they may possibly be a little more apt to walk away in light of how domestic violence is delt with today.

 

[Diuretic]

Don't know that I can agree with that, Mom. Why? When I was young and in this environment no one cared. Call the cops, they may show in a few hours. If they did, they'd pull the old man aside and say go to bed, or some such thing. They didn't remove the problem as they seem to do now. Point is, since the police have changed the way they deal with this you hear about it more. That doesn't mean there's more now that when I was a kid.

True enough. I actually remember the day I said, fuck this bullshit, I'm arresting the bastard.

 

[Mr. P]

People talk about it more too, it's not cloaked in shame the way it once was. Not that all shame is removed from those in that situation,, but they may possibly be a little more apt to walk away in light of how domestic violence is delt with today.

Very true.

 

[Mr. P]

True enough. I actually remember the day I said, fuck this bullshit, I'm arresting the bastard.

 

[Diuretic]

Thanks Mr.P

 

[Nienna]

Don't know that I can agree with that, Mom. Why? When I was young and in this environment no one cared. Call the cops, they may show in a few hours. If they did, they'd pull the old man aside and say go to bed, or some such thing. They didn't remove the problem as they seem to do now. Point is, since the police have changed the way they deal with this you hear about it more. That doesn't mean there's more now that when I was a kid.

Just the general trend toward loss of self-control in the culture. That's what leads me to the conjecture that there is more DV now than previously.

 

[Diuretic]

mom4, I am a supporter of confrontation when it comes to dv. Arresting the offender is great It's amazing how much you get their attention in those first couple of hours.

 

[Mr. P]

Thanks Mr.P

Oh hell no! THANK YOU!!! You just don't know how much it means to me, and I'm sure those going through it now, to know these DV folks are removed from the home when you show-up now.

 

[Nienna]

mom4, I am a supporter of confrontation when it comes to dv. Arresting the offender is great It's amazing how much you get their attention in those first couple of hours.

Excellent! And to those willing to enter violent situations to help others.

 

[jillian]

Just the general trend toward loss of self-control in the culture. That's what leads me to the conjecture that there is more DV now than previously.

I don't think there's, generally, less "self-control". And, from what I've seen, there is a much greater societal willingness to stop abusers instead of saying "well, it's his wife; it's between them" or the attitude that she's chattel to whom he can do what he wants.

 

[Nienna]

I don't think there's, generally, less "self-control".

Disagree about this, in many, many facets of our current culture.

And, from what I've seen, there is a much greater societal willingness to stop abusers instead of saying "well, it's his wife; it's between them" or the attitude that she's chattel to whom he can do what he wants.

Agree with this, thankfully.

 

[jillian]

Disagree about this, in many, many facets of our current culture.

Fair enough.

Agree with this, thankfully.

 

[Diuretic]

I don't think there's, generally, less "self-control". And, from what I've seen, there is a much greater societal willingness to stop abusers instead of saying "well, it's his wife; it's between them" or the attitude that she's chattel to whom he can do what he wants.

jillian - where I am at least I'm happy to say that the police will arrest and charge the offender for dv. It wasn't that way for many years and to my shame I was part of that, "separate them into other rooms, talk them through it, keep the peace" policy. I did that.

I'm just glad now that when we are very quick to arrest and the person arrested and charged is given the help they need.