asterism
Congress != Progress
People tend to talk about what they do with their children instead of asking experts or people that have well behaved, well performing kids what works best. People will comment unsolicited on how great your kids are but rarely do they ask for tips or what specifically you do. There is definitely a stigma still on asking for help with raising children or they think there is just something wrong with their child.
"Experts," like Dr. Spock? That's part of the problem.
However, I'm constantly asked "how do you do it?" by parents and my kids aren't exactly angels but they are known to be rambunctious, happy, and polite when they need to be. I think I get asked for parenting advice because of the way kids who are not mine respond to me in my scouting and other volunteer roles.
I've found that MOST (emphasis on most) dysfunctional kids are the results of parents that can't commit to actual parenting. They are too tired, too busy, or too disinterested in doing the hard part - actively parenting children non-stop every single day. They don't give 10 parts praise, 3 parts constructive criticism, and 1 part punishment. They don't manage their kids to set them up for success so that they can encourage them and they ignore the times the kids failed because it makes them feel bad that their little one will miss a movie/party/fun activity.
Of course these are mostly the same failed parents of screw-ups that will abhor spanking and all forms of it while emotionally isolating their children. Spanking won't help these kids because they are manipulating their parents.
Never read Dr Spock. I mean like going to family counseling and yes books for back up and just keeping an eye out for things other parents seem to be doing that produce great results. One of the best tips I ever got for my girls came from another dad who was not embarrassed to take his daughters shopping for underwear. I agree with your assessment on dysfunctional kids 100%
I will only disagree on the "family counseling" aspect. While there are some very excellent resources out there, most "family counseling" is terrible - all theory and no practice, usually facilitated by someone who doesn't have kids.
I know this thread started as a discussion on spanking, but I think the conversation has evolved into the broader concept of parenting in general. Other than a few outliers, the vast majority of those who support spanking are those who rarely use it. That should be encouraging.