Salt Jones
Rookie
- Mar 22, 2011
- 6,900
- 511
- 0
- Banned
- #61
Custody/visitation and child support are two completely different issues. You don't pay child support to buy time with your kids. You pay child support to support your children, and those children need to be supported whether or not you get to see them. They don't cease to exist when they are out of your sight, nor do you get to punish them and your ex because you don't like the custody/visitation arrangement (or even if the custody arrangement is violated).I was a single parent from my kids ages of 9 and 11 years old, until the youngest was 18. I never received a penny of child support from ex-wife, the court said she didn't have to pay. I was divorced when my youngest was 1.
I started paying child support before the divorce was final and continued until I was awarded sole custody. The 8 years between divorce and my gaining custody were eventful. I was awarded temporary custody for 2 years. The court ordered me to continue paying my ex-wife child support even though I had the kids. Due to state jurisdictional issues, I had to return my kids to my ex-wife. I did't see them again for 5 years. My ex didn't honor our custody orders and moved or changed phone numbers to keep me from contacting my kids. All the while my child support allotment kept going to her bank, I was active duty Navy during this time.
I was going to court the entire time to get my visitation enforced and no matter what she did, from leaving the state when visitation dates came or not answering the phone on our scheduled phone visits, I still paid child support.
Every time we went to court the first question I was asked: "Is your child support current?". No matter what she did, I was always asked about child support. The court gave her total disregard of a court ordered custody agreement equal weight with whether or not I missed a payment. In the end, I won sole custody. My ex-wife was ordered to pay 33% of my legal fees, pay me $5,000 and was given 5 years probation for repeatedly and excessively violating the court orders.
What are you talking about? I had temporary custody of my kids for two years, because my ex married someone who was abusive towards them. I was stationed in one state and my wife had moved to another state. I got my kids for my summer visitation and took them to my home state, where I had recently been stationed. There I found evidence of abuse, contacted authorities and subsequently was given temporary custody while the court case played out. After two years of hearings and CPS interviews the court ruled that the state in which I resided didn't have jurisdiction, since the abuse happened in my ex-wive's state. I was forced to return my kids to my ex-wife and her husband.
During those 2 years, I paid for my kids counseling, childcare, sports fees, everything they needed. I sold my car to get rid of the car payments and bought a cheaper car and more importantly I never missed a child support payment to my ex-wife, even though I was providing all the care for my kids during that time.
I never used child support as a weapon and that's the reason I ended up winning my court case. That and the fact the abuse of my kids continued once they were returned and I finally was able to prove it.