Child Support is unfair

[Salt Jones]

Big can of worms there.................

While its true many of our courts award custody to the non bread winner for a piece of the pie. It is also true that the system is very soft on irresponsible women. There wont be a solution. The State is vested in the status quo. IE the easiest place to get their cut.....

If they gave custody to the bread winner, there is no need for state services....Thus the underlying problem.......

I agree. I never missed a child support payment in 6 years and started paying before the divorce was final. But, in the final two years of my custody fight the state ordered me to stop paying my ex directly and to start paying into the state's child support system, at a $40 monthly fee. They wanted to make sure I would pay.

Yes..................The fee........ Sadly in many cases the State is more concerned with the FEE then the actual welfare of the children. You have my profound respect Sir. We need more fathers like you..Willing to take on what ever comes our way for the children.....

Now that half of all births here are to single parents...Means...Rough times ahead......

I agree. But, I see it from both sides. I experienced the gender bias in the courts and child support system on the way to getting custody of my kids and I see the struggles single parents, mostly mothers, go through with inadequate child support. Buying diapers or clothes every now and then isn't supporting your kid and the single parent buying stuff to make the kid's life better, even though it seems not to directly affect the kid, is supporting the kid.

 

[Aristotle]

I am in no way defending the irresponisbility of men who lack the fortitude to take care of their own responsibility as an adult, but I firmly believe any system that awards someone with money ought to be tracked. I'm not sure about you guys but I meet far too many men with no representation regarding child support and the issues they face regarding money. How is it that the state can track EBT payments but not child support? I personally believe the system is unfair towards responsible men and are soft on irresponsible women....What say ye?

what say me?


Men should pay for child support if they make a baby. If they dont want to pay child support...they should have kept their sperm to themselves.

So its ok that a woman squander's the money on herself?

 

[Aristotle]

I was a single parent from my kids ages of 9 and 11 years old, until the youngest was 18. I never received a penny of child support from ex-wife, the court said she didn't have to pay. I was divorced when my youngest was 1.

I started paying child support before the divorce was final and continued until I was awarded sole custody. The 8 years between divorce and my gaining custody were eventful. I was awarded temporary custody for 2 years. The court ordered me to continue paying my ex-wife child support even though I had the kids. Due to state jurisdictional issues, I had to return my kids to my ex-wife. I did't see them again for 5 years. My ex didn't honor our custody orders and moved or changed phone numbers to keep me from contacting my kids. All the while my child support allotment kept going to her bank, I was active duty Navy during this time.

I was going to court the entire time to get my visitation enforced and no matter what she did, from leaving the state when visitation dates came or not answering the phone on our scheduled phone visits, I still paid child support.

Every time we went to court the first question I was asked: "Is your child support current?". No matter what she did, I was always asked about child support. The court gave her total disregard of a court ordered custody agreement equal weight with whether or not I missed a payment. In the end, I won sole custody. My ex-wife was ordered to pay 33% of my legal fees, pay me $5,000 and was given 5 years probation for repeatedly and excessively violating the court orders.

This is the stuff that pisses me off. You serving our country and this shit happens

 

[Katzndogz]

I am in no way defending the irresponisbility of men who lack the fortitude to take care of their own responsibility as an adult, but I firmly believe any system that awards someone with money ought to be tracked. I'm not sure about you guys but I meet far too many men with no representation regarding child support and the issues they face regarding money. How is it that the state can track EBT payments but not child support? I personally believe the system is unfair towards responsible men and are soft on irresponsible women....What say ye?

what say me?


Men should pay for child support if they make a baby. If they dont want to pay child support...they should have kept their sperm to themselves.

So its ok that a woman squander's the money on herself?

Yes it is.

The woman pays rent, buys food, buys clothing, pays the utilities. If she takes the child support and blows it, she's still paying the bills.

 

[Intense]

Fathers shouldn't have to pay child support if they made it clear they never wanted a child, but the woman got pregnant anyway. A woman should have no right to force a man to become a father, because he has no legal right to force her to become a mother. Its reverse discrimination.

Shit happens. Marriages fail. Each Parent has a responsibility to the Children. Adults learn to take responsibility, it's part of being a Grown Up.

In relation to Parents of an unwanted Pregnancy, should it lead to full term, Sign away those Parental Rights, one could only hope that the Child finds a good adoptive home.

 

[Salt Jones]

I was a single parent from my kids ages of 9 and 11 years old, until the youngest was 18. I never received a penny of child support from ex-wife, the court said she didn't have to pay. I was divorced when my youngest was 1.

I started paying child support before the divorce was final and continued until I was awarded sole custody. The 8 years between divorce and my gaining custody were eventful. I was awarded temporary custody for 2 years. The court ordered me to continue paying my ex-wife child support even though I had the kids. Due to state jurisdictional issues, I had to return my kids to my ex-wife. I did't see them again for 5 years. My ex didn't honor our custody orders and moved or changed phone numbers to keep me from contacting my kids. All the while my child support allotment kept going to her bank, I was active duty Navy during this time.

I was going to court the entire time to get my visitation enforced and no matter what she did, from leaving the state when visitation dates came or not answering the phone on our scheduled phone visits, I still paid child support.

Every time we went to court the first question I was asked: "Is your child support current?". No matter what she did, I was always asked about child support. The court gave her total disregard of a court ordered custody agreement equal weight with whether or not I missed a payment. In the end, I won sole custody. My ex-wife was ordered to pay 33% of my legal fees, pay me $5,000 and was given 5 years probation for repeatedly and excessively violating the court orders.

This is the stuff that pisses me off. You serving our country and this shit happens

That's life. I knew a lot of guys in the military who refused to pay their fair share of child support. The military tries to force you to pay a certain amount, but they have no legal say in the amount of child support you pay. That's up to state courts.

 

[Katzndogz]

One of my clients ended up a father from a one night stand and she assured him that she was on the pill. He faithfully paid child support for 18 years. Periodically the mother took him to court to get an increase. And tried several times to force this man to visit the child, send Christmas and Birthday presents but he never did. The mother fought for and got a court order for visitation and shared vacation times. She just could not get an order forcing him to visit or have the child for six weeks during the summer or alternate holidays. He paid, every month, what the law said he had to pay. No more, no less. He understood that he made a mistake and had to pay for that mistake. He did it without complaint. Raising the child was entirely the mother's responsibility. She chose to get pregnant. She chose not to take the pill as she said she did. He bore no responsibility beyond financial restitution for his momentary lapse. He never saw the child, never spoke to the child, never accepted any letters with regard to the child or from the child when she got old enough. It was a fair resolution.

 

[HUGGY]

I am in no way defending the irresponisbility of men who lack the fortitude to take care of their own responsibility as an adult, but I firmly believe any system that awards someone with money ought to be tracked. I'm not sure about you guys but I meet far too many men with no representation regarding child support and the issues they face regarding money. How is it that the state can track EBT payments but not child support? I personally believe the system is unfair towards responsible men and are soft on irresponsible women....What say ye?

Simple solution...vet your prospective wives better than you do your elected officials.

 

[Salt Jones]

One of my clients ended up a father from a one night stand and she assured him that she was on the pill. He faithfully paid child support for 18 years. Periodically the mother took him to court to get an increase. And tried several times to force this man to visit the child, send Christmas and Birthday presents but he never did. The mother fought for and got a court order for visitation and shared vacation times. She just could not get an order forcing him to visit or have the child for six weeks during the summer or alternate holidays. He paid, every month, what the law said he had to pay. No more, no less. He understood that he made a mistake and had to pay for that mistake. He did it without complaint. Raising the child was entirely the mother's responsibility. She chose to get pregnant. She chose not to take the pill as she said she did. He bore no responsibility beyond financial restitution for his momentary lapse. He never saw the child, never spoke to the child, never accepted any letters with regard to the child or from the child when she got old enough. It was a fair resolution.

If that gets him through the night, more power to him. I think it was a coward's way out. He had sex, pregnancy can result from sex. He punished a kid because of his weakness. That is the sign of a pussy.

 

[Katzndogz]

One of my clients ended up a father from a one night stand and she assured him that she was on the pill. He faithfully paid child support for 18 years. Periodically the mother took him to court to get an increase. And tried several times to force this man to visit the child, send Christmas and Birthday presents but he never did. The mother fought for and got a court order for visitation and shared vacation times. She just could not get an order forcing him to visit or have the child for six weeks during the summer or alternate holidays. He paid, every month, what the law said he had to pay. No more, no less. He understood that he made a mistake and had to pay for that mistake. He did it without complaint. Raising the child was entirely the mother's responsibility. She chose to get pregnant. She chose not to take the pill as she said she did. He bore no responsibility beyond financial restitution for his momentary lapse. He never saw the child, never spoke to the child, never accepted any letters with regard to the child or from the child when she got old enough. It was a fair resolution.

If that gets him through the night, more power to him. I think it was a coward's way out. He had sex, pregnancy can result from sex. He punished a kid because of his weakness. That is the sign of a pussy.

He actually paid his child support, every month, without complaint. That's hardly punishment. It seems like a quite reasonable resolution. I don't see any punishment to the child at all.

Should men be forced to be a secondary custodial parent to children they never wanted? Aside from child support, how would such an order be enforced. We know, already that child support is increased based on a reduction in parental visitation time. So my client was paying top dollar. Paying for all the time he never spent with the child. Where is the punishment?

 

[Salt Jones]

One of my clients ended up a father from a one night stand and she assured him that she was on the pill. He faithfully paid child support for 18 years. Periodically the mother took him to court to get an increase. And tried several times to force this man to visit the child, send Christmas and Birthday presents but he never did. The mother fought for and got a court order for visitation and shared vacation times. She just could not get an order forcing him to visit or have the child for six weeks during the summer or alternate holidays. He paid, every month, what the law said he had to pay. No more, no less. He understood that he made a mistake and had to pay for that mistake. He did it without complaint. Raising the child was entirely the mother's responsibility. She chose to get pregnant. She chose not to take the pill as she said she did. He bore no responsibility beyond financial restitution for his momentary lapse. He never saw the child, never spoke to the child, never accepted any letters with regard to the child or from the child when she got old enough. It was a fair resolution.

If that gets him through the night, more power to him. I think it was a coward's way out. He had sex, pregnancy can result from sex. He punished a kid because of his weakness. That is the sign of a pussy.

He actually paid his child support, every month, without complaint. That's hardly punishment. It seems like a quite reasonable resolution. I don't see any punishment to the child at all.

Should men be forced to be a secondary custodial parent to children they never wanted? Aside from child support, how would such an order be enforced. We know, already that child support is increased based on a reduction in parental visitation time. So my client was paying top dollar. Paying for all the time he never spent with the child. Where is the punishment?

Like I said, if that gets him through the night. I have no respect for him. The punishment is not providing love to a child you created. Giving money too, but not wanting to be a part of the kid's life sends a message to that kid.

 

[Provocateur]

The only unfair thing about child support the one who is paying it can't use it as a tax deduction I pay a thousand a month for one child and can't use it as a deduction

If you ever go back to court, make sure that this is taken into consideration. An adjustment should be made.

 

[Katzndogz]

If that gets him through the night, more power to him. I think it was a coward's way out. He had sex, pregnancy can result from sex. He punished a kid because of his weakness. That is the sign of a pussy.

He actually paid his child support, every month, without complaint. That's hardly punishment. It seems like a quite reasonable resolution. I don't see any punishment to the child at all.

Should men be forced to be a secondary custodial parent to children they never wanted? Aside from child support, how would such an order be enforced. We know, already that child support is increased based on a reduction in parental visitation time. So my client was paying top dollar. Paying for all the time he never spent with the child. Where is the punishment?

Like I said, if that gets him through the night. I have no respect for him. The punishment is not providing love to a child you created. Giving money too, but not wanting to be a part of the kid's life sends a message to that kid.

I take it you are against abortion.

 

[koshergrl]

I was a single parent from my kids ages of 9 and 11 years old, until the youngest was 18. I never received a penny of child support from ex-wife, the court said she didn't have to pay. I was divorced when my youngest was 1.

I started paying child support before the divorce was final and continued until I was awarded sole custody. The 8 years between divorce and my gaining custody were eventful. I was awarded temporary custody for 2 years. The court ordered me to continue paying my ex-wife child support even though I had the kids. Due to state jurisdictional issues, I had to return my kids to my ex-wife. I did't see them again for 5 years. My ex didn't honor our custody orders and moved or changed phone numbers to keep me from contacting my kids. All the while my child support allotment kept going to her bank, I was active duty Navy during this time.

I was going to court the entire time to get my visitation enforced and no matter what she did, from leaving the state when visitation dates came or not answering the phone on our scheduled phone visits, I still paid child support.

Every time we went to court the first question I was asked: "Is your child support current?". No matter what she did, I was always asked about child support. The court gave her total disregard of a court ordered custody agreement equal weight with whether or not I missed a payment. In the end, I won sole custody. My ex-wife was ordered to pay 33% of my legal fees, pay me $5,000 and was given 5 years probation for repeatedly and excessively violating the court orders.

Custody/visitation and child support are two completely different issues. You don't pay child support to buy time with your kids. You pay child support to support your children, and those children need to be supported whether or not you get to see them. They don't cease to exist when they are out of your sight, nor do you get to punish them and your ex because you don't like the custody/visitation arrangement (or even if the custody arrangement is violated).

 

[Steelplate]

I was a single parent from my kids ages of 9 and 11 years old, until the youngest was 18. I never received a penny of child support from ex-wife, the court said she didn't have to pay. I was divorced when my youngest was 1.

I started paying child support before the divorce was final and continued until I was awarded sole custody. The 8 years between divorce and my gaining custody were eventful. I was awarded temporary custody for 2 years. The court ordered me to continue paying my ex-wife child support even though I had the kids. Due to state jurisdictional issues, I had to return my kids to my ex-wife. I did't see them again for 5 years. My ex didn't honor our custody orders and moved or changed phone numbers to keep me from contacting my kids. All the while my child support allotment kept going to her bank, I was active duty Navy during this time.

I was going to court the entire time to get my visitation enforced and no matter what she did, from leaving the state when visitation dates came or not answering the phone on our scheduled phone visits, I still paid child support.

Every time we went to court the first question I was asked: "Is your child support current?". No matter what she did, I was always asked about child support. The court gave her total disregard of a court ordered custody agreement equal weight with whether or not I missed a payment. In the end, I won sole custody. My ex-wife was ordered to pay 33% of my legal fees, pay me $5,000 and was given 5 years probation for repeatedly and excessively violating the court orders.

Custody/visitation and child support are two completely different issues. You don't pay child support to buy time with your kids. You pay child support to support your children, and those children need to be supported whether or not you get to see them. They don't cease to exist when they are out of your sight, nor do you get to punish them and your ex because you don't like the custody/visitation arrangement (or even if the custody arrangement is violated).

and just where did he say anything like that?

 

[AmyNation]

what say me?


Men should pay for child support if they make a baby. If they dont want to pay child support...they should have kept their sperm to themselves.

So its ok that a woman squander's the money on herself?

Yes it is.

The woman pays rent, buys food, buys clothing, pays the utilities. If she takes the child support and blows it, she's still paying the bills.

This.

Whether she or he takes that specific check and spends it on something you don't like isn't the point because, its assumed, they are still caring for the child. Like others have said, it's not just about food or clothes but rent and heat and upkeep of the home and everything else that goes into that. That is why the more you make the more you send, because it's about providing a home and lifestyle for your child, not just diapers and school clothes.

 

[koshergrl]

I don't think he said that, but he did point out that he was paying child support despite not getting visitation, and it is a standard complaint among dead beats not only that they shouldn't have to pay child support if they can't dictate how the money is spent, but that they shouldn't have to pay child support if they don't see the kids as much as they would like, or as much as they are allowed.

 

[nitroz]

the cost of taking care of YOUR CHILD 24/7 is more than a dollar figure....the man can easily run off with any woman and marry again...the man can have a full time career and add to his retirement for old age, the mother is limited to such full time good paying careers, as the single parent caring for your child, again 24/7....she has much less opportunity to remarry and to add to her own retirement and to succeed in life with a good career, mainly because she is the 24/7 parent for your child, while you are free as a bird....

there is more to this than buying your kid a hot dog for dinner....who cooks it for them, who cleans the dishes afterwards, who puts your child to bed at night, who washes them in the tub every night, who takes them to the doctor when sick and who has to miss work in order to do it, who dresses your kid and who has to take them to school or make certain they make it safe to school?

She can put out and get with some rich dude, ending up with more opportunity.
Women are just as capable as men, if not, more capable.

 

[AmyNation]

the cost of taking care of YOUR CHILD 24/7 is more than a dollar figure....the man can easily run off with any woman and marry again...the man can have a full time career and add to his retirement for old age, the mother is limited to such full time good paying careers, as the single parent caring for your child, again 24/7....she has much less opportunity to remarry and to add to her own retirement and to succeed in life with a good career, mainly because she is the 24/7 parent for your child, while you are free as a bird....

there is more to this than buying your kid a hot dog for dinner....who cooks it for them, who cleans the dishes afterwards, who puts your child to bed at night, who washes them in the tub every night, who takes them to the doctor when sick and who has to miss work in order to do it, who dresses your kid and who has to take them to school or make certain they make it safe to school?

She can put out and get with some rich dude, ending up with more opportunity.
Women are just as capable as men, if not, more capable.

The point is she is burdened with a child, and expends extra money that the other parent does not.

 

[HUGGY]

I am in no way defending the irresponisbility of men who lack the fortitude to take care of their own responsibility as an adult, but I firmly believe any system that awards someone with money ought to be tracked. I'm not sure about you guys but I meet far too many men with no representation regarding child support and the issues they face regarding money. How is it that the state can track EBT payments but not child support? I personally believe the system is unfair towards responsible men and are soft on irresponsible women....What say ye?

Simple solution...vet your prospective wives better than you do your elected officials. That way you will not end up with a pregnant skank.

Yes, because all divorces are the fault of the woman.

Could you possibly be a bigger idiot?


I don't think so.

My bad...I wasn't thinking of the gals that pay child support.

OH I could be...that's why I am on a strict diet.