CDC unveils response plan to zombie plague

[Wonky Pundit]

I have to admit, this was one of the last things I would have expected to read on a government site:

"If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work)."

Source

 

[freedombecki]

With all due respect, the link sorta reminds me of the drug war.

 

[Wonky Pundit]

That's understandable. I think the CDC put as much thought into this plan as the DEA put into theirs.

 

[freedombecki]

That's understandable. I think the CDC put as much thought into this plan as the DEA put into theirs.

Yeah, "conform" and "stay asleep."

 

[The Rabbi]

CDC better get cracking on this plague.
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kfea6IWiYu0]YouTube - ‪Best Movie Line Ever!!!‬‏[/ame]

 

[Mr. Shaman]

I have to admit, this was one of the last things I would have expected to read on a government site:

"If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation."

You're kiddin', right????

"This is the great thing about rabid fundamentalism. You really just don't have to give a damn."

Republicans Will Believe ANYTHING

(Ya' just gotta scare-the-shit outta them....)​

 

[zzzz]

Ah it is real! further excerpt:

Once you’ve made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan. This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or other emergency.


1. Identify the types of emergencies that are possible in your area. Besides a zombie apocalypse, this may include floods, tornadoes, or earthquakes. If you are unsure contact your local Red Cross chapter for more information.

2. Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home…or your town evacuates because of a hurricane. Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.

3. Identify your emergency contacts. Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team. Also identify an out-of-state contact that you can call during an emergency to let the rest of your family know you are ok.

4. Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.

CDC EPR | Social Media | Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse - Blog

 

[Mr. Shaman]

Ah it is real! further excerpt:

Once you’ve made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan. This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or other emergency.

*

 

[sparky]

 

[bigrebnc1775]

I have to admit, this was one of the last things I would have expected to read on a government site:

"If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work)."

Source

When zombies attack I wil be prepared.

 

[bigrebnc1775]

Ah it is real! further excerpt:

Once you’ve made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan. This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or other emergency.


1. Identify the types of emergencies that are possible in your area. Besides a zombie apocalypse, this may include floods, tornadoes, or earthquakes. If you are unsure contact your local Red Cross chapter for more information.

2. Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home…or your town evacuates because of a hurricane. Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.

3. Identify your emergency contacts. Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team. Also identify an out-of-state contact that you can call during an emergency to let the rest of your family know you are ok.

4. Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.

CDC EPR | Social Media | Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse - Blog

Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast!

The obama sheeple have nothing to fear they have no brains.

 

[Mr. Shaman]

CDC unveils response plan to zombie plague

I have to admit, this was one of the last things I would have expected to read on a government site.....

Hey......some people prefer being.....

....perpetually-petrified!!!

 

[Big Fitz]

I never thought I'd be able to use this lol with any seriousness (kinda). So I must do it now.

 

[JoeB131]

I have to admit, this was one of the last things I would have expected to read on a government site:

"If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work)."

Source

Sometimes it's hard to tell the real news from the Onion, but this sounds like a low-level bureaucrat with too much time on his hands having a little fun.

 

[editec]

Center for Disease Control.

If pandering to the insane fears of the people is what we need to go to get them to start act responsibly, then we're prepared to do that, too!

 

[bripat9643]

I have to admit, this was one of the last things I would have expected to read on a government site:

"If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work)."

Source

They actually spent tax money on this piece of crap?

 

[bigrebnc1775]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2H4PEyqFtc]Zombie Preparedness, The Sheepdawg Way - YouTube[/ame]

 

[Old Rocks]

Sheesh!

CDC EPR | Social Media | Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse - Blog

Well, we’re here to answer that question for you, and hopefully share a few tips about preparing for real emergencies too!

Better Safe than Sorry



Some of the supplies for your emergency kit.
So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored). Below are a few items you should include in your kit, for a full list visit the CDC Emergency page

 

[Old Rocks]

I have to admit, this was one of the last things I would have expected to read on a government site:

"If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work)."

Source

They actually spent tax money on this piece of crap?

Ever try to read what is really said? Pattycake, you show yourself to be a dumbfuck on every issue. Try actually reading something before embarrassing yourself daily.

 

[Mr. Shaman]

Center for Disease Control.

If pandering to the insane fears of the people is what we need to go to get them to start act responsibly, then we're prepared to do that, too!

.....And, who knew that process better-than the sales-and-marketing folks, at.....

.....BU$HCO!!!!