Ask Joe (a new advice column just for USMB members)

[Esmeralda]

Dear Joe, exactly how easy is over easy?

 

[AVG-JOE]

Very easy... ass-u-me-ing one has quality cookware and ain't afraid of a little grease with their eggs.

Ass-u-me-ing one is talking about eggs and cooking.

-----------------------------

According to The Urban Dictionary, the top definition for 'easy' is as follows:

easy
A term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
"I picked up an easy chick named Krystal in a bar last night."
​

I have actually done extensive research in to this subject, and, in the humble opinion of this average researcher, easy women are impossible.

Impossible to find and impossible to let go of.

To The Possibilities of The Impossible.

`​

 

[IlarMeilyr]

I always figure that 'The Golden Years' start when we begin to shed responsibility, and peak when we draw a pension for sleeping in in a paid-for house.

I can see how getting there as a single would have it's advantages, but I thank (insert your preferred Deity here) every day for AVG-WIFE. I'm a lucky Monkey and she's perfect for me.

It's not about the when or the what, with partnerships, it's all about The Who.



You're free to change the channel or turn the damned thing off, but life on Our Timeline has no fast forward button - Father Time cares nothing for human cash-flow, but She's a flaming bitch about Time-flow.

`​

In your case, it's clearly not all about the WHO.

I submit it is undeniably all about
THE MONKEES!

 

[Esmeralda]

Very easy... ass-u-me-ing one has quality cookware and ain't afraid of a little grease with their eggs.

Ass-u-me-ing one is talking about eggs and cooking.

-----------------------------

According to The Urban Dictionary, the top definition for 'easy' is as follows:

easy
A term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
"I picked up an easy chick named Krystal in a bar last night."
​

I have actually done extensive research in to this subject, and, in the humble opinion of this average researcher, easy women are impossible.

Impossible to find and impossible to let go of.

To The Possibilities of The Impossible.

`​

I wasn't talking about cooking or the other (get your mind out of the gutter, you man you). I was talking philosophically.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Oh... well in that case... Over easy is indeed easy because philosophers try to know what they're talking about by focusing on what's already happened. If it had been difficult, they would have said so.

​

Huh. I suppose that means that "easy" is in the mind of the actor, philosopher or slave.

Easy is as easy does, so, whenever possible: easy does it ​

 

[AVG-JOE]

Y'all take it easy now, eh?
​

 

[Esmeralda]

I like it! Another good answer. You are still the man.

 

[Esmeralda]

 

[Derideo_Te]

It appears as though this thread now has competition....

#AskTrump is now the latest trend on twitter so my question for Joe is why didn't you start your own #Ask-Joe on twitter first?

 

[Vandalshandle]

Dear Joe,

I came home from work last week, only to find that my wife had run off with my stock broker. She left me a note, telling me to "drop dead". Between the two of them, they had also emptied out my life savings in the form of my stock portfolio. They also took the kids, the car, and the furniture. The bank account has been emptied, and it looked like they had tried to burn the house down. Even my dog is gone. They left a forwarding address in the Bahamas. Her attorney had me served with divorce papers, and she seems to be asking a judge for $7,000 per month in child support. (I only make $5,000 per month).

My question is, do you think that this means that our next year's prepaid vacation plans should be put on hold?

Signed,

Having second thoughts, in AZ.

 

[Carla_Danger]

Oh... well in that case... Over easy is indeed easy because philosophers try to know what they're talking about by focusing on what's already happened. If it had been difficult, they would have said so.

​

Huh. I suppose that means that "easy" is in the mind of the actor, philosopher or slave.

Easy is as easy does, so, whenever possible: easy does it ​

Great song!

 

[Statistikhengst]

It appears as though this thread now has competition....

View attachment 50613

#AskTrump is now the latest trend on twitter so my question for Joe is why didn't you start your own #Ask-Joe on twitter first?

Lol!!

Gesendet von meinem GT-I9515 mit Tapatalk

 

[Meathead]

Joe, is Stats a 'pitcher' or a 'catcher'? My money's on the latter.

 

[Derideo_Te]

Joe,

What was your first thought?

Pondering in Podunk

 

[AVG-JOE]

It appears as though this thread now has competition....

View attachment 50613

#AskTrump is now the latest trend on twitter so my question for Joe is why didn't you start your own #Ask-Joe on twitter first?

I'm almost too lazy to keep up with this thread on USMB...

And you want me to go Twitter?!?
​

Ain't nobody got Time for that!!

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe,

I came home from work last week, only to find that my wife had run off with my stock broker. She left me a note, telling me to "drop dead". Between the two of them, they had also emptied out my life savings in the form of my stock portfolio. They also took the kids, the car, and the furniture. The bank account has been emptied, and it looked like they had tried to burn the house down. Even my dog is gone. They left a forwarding address in the Bahamas. Her attorney had me served with divorce papers, and she seems to be asking a judge for $7,000 per month in child support. (I only make $5,000 per month).

My question is, do you think that this means that our next year's prepaid vacation plans should be put on hold?

Signed,

Having second thoughts, in AZ.

Nahhhhhhh....

Be thankful that they left the cheap beer in the back of the 'fridge, and keep your options open...

You're single now, Bro'!

​

Can you cash in the tickets for a 'Vegas Adventure?

 

[AVG-JOE]

Joe, is Stats a 'pitcher' or a 'catcher'? My money's on the latter.

No fucking clue.


Did you ask him?


I have a question... Who did you get to take that bet?

`​

 

[AVG-JOE]

Joe,

What was your first thought?

Pondering in Podunk

First thought like what... Ever?

 

[AVG-JOE]

As I recall, my first thought today was...

"Must pee!" ​

 

[AVG-JOE]

Seriously though...

If what separates the Monkeys on earth from monkeys and other animals is the ability to think in words, then my first thought was the same as every other Monkey. My first thought was the first time that I understood the concept behind having a word for something.

In my case specifically?

I have no memory of that first association of a thing and its word.

Word. ​