Ask Joe (a new advice column just for USMB members)

[Esmeralda]

Why the hell are you gardening with a moaning woman nearby?

Go see what she wants.

 

[Sarah G]

Hey Joe, sometimes I get really irritated by some Cons on this board. Is it me or is it them?

 

[AVG-JOE]

I'm afraid it's you, sweet Sarah.

At least the 'getting irritated' part.

Only two things are certain... every living ride on the Timeline ends in death, and, one, and only one, attitude does any given individual ever truly get to control.

I encourage you to not let the stupidity and ugliness dampen your soft, steady glow or dilute your appreciation for the beauty that I know that you see amidst the chaos.

When modern politics gets me down, I think about things like the Spanish Inquisition and the sociopathic conquests of the Colonial Period, and I remind myself that this here and this now is but one of the many baby steps to be taken in all their pain and glory by Monkeys with a real shot at true Sentience, crawling out of the pregnant, dog-eat-dog, living muck of an incredibly rich biosphere of a Living Timeline, reaching for The Stars.

 

[Pogo]

I'm afraid it's you, sweet Sarah.

At least the 'getting irritated' part.

Only two things are certain... every living ride on the Timeline ends in death, and, one, and only one, attitude does any given individual ever truly get to control.

I encourage you to not let the stupidity and ugliness dampen your soft, steady glow or dilute your appreciation for the beauty that I know that you see amidst the chaos.

When modern politics gets me down, I think about things like the Spanish Inquisition and the sociopathic conquests of the Colonial Period, and I remind myself that this here and this now is but one of the many baby steps to be taken in all their pain and glory by Monkeys with a real shot at true Sentience, crawling out of the pregnant, dog-eat-dog, living muck of an incredibly rich biosphere of a Living Timeline, reaching for The Stars.

Dear Joe:

Deep.
....... Are you Eric Idle then?

​

 

[Esmeralda]

I'm afraid it's you, sweet Sarah.

At least the 'getting irritated' part.

Only two things are certain... every living ride on the Timeline ends in death, and, one, and only one, attitude does any given individual ever truly get to control.

I encourage you to not let the stupidity and ugliness dampen your soft, steady glow or dilute your appreciation for the beauty that I know that you see amidst the chaos.

When modern politics gets me down, I think about things like the Spanish Inquisition and the sociopathic conquests of the Colonial Period, and I remind myself that this here and this now is but one of the many baby steps to be taken in all their pain and glory by Monkeys with a real shot at true Sentience, crawling out of the pregnant, dog-eat-dog, living muck of an incredibly rich biosphere of a Living Timeline, reaching for The Stars.

Joe, you are amazing!

 

[Esmeralda]

Dear Joe, I'm dying to have a kitty cat, but my building won't allow it and I don't want to move (it's a totally cool building, like living in a 5 star hotel). I thought about just keeping her (the cat) quiet in my apartment, but sometimes, when I'm at work, they come in to do maintenance (like for the AC) or to check on the smoke alarms. Also, I travel a lot and there aren't any pet kennels where I live. So, do you have ANY ideas for something that would help me get through the next few years, until I retire, without a cute, cuddly pet?

 

[Sarah G]

I'm afraid it's you, sweet Sarah.

At least the 'getting irritated' part.

Only two things are certain... every living ride on the Timeline ends in death, and, one, and only one, attitude does any given individual ever truly get to control.

I encourage you to not let the stupidity and ugliness dampen your soft, steady glow or dilute your appreciation for the beauty that I know that you see amidst the chaos.

When modern politics gets me down, I think about things like the Spanish Inquisition and the sociopathic conquests of the Colonial Period, and I remind myself that this here and this now is but one of the many baby steps to be taken in all their pain and glory by Monkeys with a real shot at true Sentience, crawling out of the pregnant, dog-eat-dog, living muck of an incredibly rich biosphere of a Living Timeline, reaching for The Stars.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe:

Deep.
....... Are you Eric Idle then?

Among other things

 

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe, I'm dying to have a kitty cat, but my building won't allow it and I don't want to move (it's a totally cool building, like living in a 5 star hotel). I thought about just keeping her (the cat) quiet in my apartment, but sometimes, when I'm at work, they come in to do maintenance (like for the AC) or to check on the smoke alarms. Also, I travel a lot and there aren't any pet kennels where I live. So, do you have ANY ideas for something that would help me get through the next few years, until I retire, without a cute, cuddly pet?

Look forward to the future. You seem to understand that there is a good time to share your life with, and take responsibility for, a living thing that requires the attention that a pet cat would require, and a less than Ideal time to share your life, and where you're at right now.

Spend some real money on a stuffed kitty that you can snuggle with on the couch when you're home, and return to a shelf when you're off changing the world. Set a date (even roughly) as a goal when you're going to adjust your circumstances to allow for the responsibility of a pet to love, and, in the meanTime, enjoy the life you obviously dig well enough to be willing to give up things that are important to you to have.

Drive life like you stole the ride, but you can afford the gas.

 

[Esmeralda]

Dear Joe, I'm dying to have a kitty cat, but my building won't allow it and I don't want to move (it's a totally cool building, like living in a 5 star hotel). I thought about just keeping her (the cat) quiet in my apartment, but sometimes, when I'm at work, they come in to do maintenance (like for the AC) or to check on the smoke alarms. Also, I travel a lot and there aren't any pet kennels where I live. So, do you have ANY ideas for something that would help me get through the next few years, until I retire, without a cute, cuddly pet?

Look forward to the future. You seem to understand that there is a good time to share your life with, and take responsibility for, a living thing that requires the attention that a pet cat would require, and a less than Ideal time to share your life, and where you're at right now.

Spend some real money on a stuffed kitty that you can snuggle with on the couch when you're home, and return to a shelf when you're off changing the world. Set a date (even roughly) as a goal when you're going to adjust your circumstances to allow for the responsibility of a pet to love, and, in the meanTime, enjoy the life you obviously dig well enough to be willing to give up things that are important to you to have.

Drive life like you stole the ride, but you can afford the gas.

Another good answer.

 

[Sarah G]

Hey Joe. We're having our first severe weather alerts for the season. Is is wrong that I fantasize about a house falling on some of the Cons around here?

 

[AVG-JOE]

For some it would be. VERY wrong.

For you, Sweet Sarah? 'Probably not' would be my guess based on my limited knowledge of you. But only you can truly know yourself that deeply.

 

[Sarah G]

For some it would be. VERY wrong.

For you, Sweet Sarah? 'Probably not' would be my guess based on my limited knowledge of you. But only you can truly know yourself that deeply.

Jez kidding.. Have a nice night.

 

[AVG-JOE]

I am SO looking forward to Friday!

​

 

[IlarMeilyr]

Hey Joe:

I have noticed that some folks here (i.e., the libs) are easily irritated by actual logic and rational thinking.

Is there any hope for such libs or must they wander this Earth for the rest of their days being hopelessly confused by the superior intellect and reasoning of conservatives and conservative political philosophy?

 

[AVG-JOE]

I'm thinking that I don't want to see this thread turn in to a political flame thing, even though I fielded one from Miss Sarah that I should have, and one that I shouldn't have.

 

[IlarMeilyr]

I'm thinking that I don't want to see this thread turn in to a political flame thing, even though I fielded one from Miss Sarah that I should have, and one that I shouldn't have.

You are wise beyond my years.

 

[Disir]

Dear Joe,

I have a two pronged dilemma.

My aunt asked me if I was seeing someone. I said, "No. Have you seen the gene pool? I don't have time." My aunt said to me that I needed to find someone because my golden years are coming faster than I know. What does that even mean? When your finished with one set of diapers then move on to changing the next? I'm miserable and I want you to be miserable to?

My ex-mil will tell me that I need to go out on a date. She then wants me to sit and watch shows on ID (murder porn). Third show in and she is telling me that I can never date again. Is there a fast forward button on this? It's the process. I hate that channel.

 

[AVG-JOE]

I always figure that 'The Golden Years' start when we begin to shed responsibility, and peak when we draw a pension for sleeping in in a paid-for house.

I can see how getting there as a single would have it's advantages, but I thank (insert your preferred Deity here) every day for AVG-WIFE. I'm a lucky Monkey and she's perfect for me.

It's not about the when or the what, with partnerships, it's all about The Who.



You're free to change the channel or turn the damned thing off, but life on Our Timeline has no fast forward button - Father Time cares nothing for human cash-flow, but She's a flaming bitch about Time-flow.

`​

 

[Sarah G]

I always figure that 'The Golden Years' start when we begin to shed responsibility, and peak when we draw a pension for sleeping in in a paid-for house.

I can see how getting there as a single would have it's advantages, but I thank (insert your preferred Deity here) every day for AVG-WIFE. I'm a lucky Monkey and she's perfect for me.

It's not about the when or the what, with partnerships, it's all about The Who.



You're free to change the channel or turn the damned thing off, but life on Our Timeline has no fast forward button - Father Time cares nothing for human cash-flow, but She's a flaming bitch about Time-flow.

`​

Really nice thoughts to start the day with, Joe. Have a good one.