A Trip To Costco

Discussion in 'Humor' started by nateriver, Jun 30, 2009.

  1. nateriver
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    nateriver Rookie

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    Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow
    for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line
    when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog..

    What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have
    little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
    starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
    because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
    pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
    of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
    it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
    eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
    complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.. (I have to
    mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with
    my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because
    the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff
    an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
    laughing so hard.

    Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

    Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the
    world to think of crazy things to say.
     
  2. Luissa
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    Luissa Annoying Customer Supporting Member

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    :lol:
    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

    Reminds of the time my friend ate a dog treat because he was so stoned!
     
  3. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    Great yarn there, Nate.

    FYI, Purina dog chow is crap. If you have a dog, spend the extra bucks and buy your dog some real food.
     
  4. Dis
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    Dis Guest

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    Go with Iams, or Eukanuba.. (Oh, and Costco won't ban you from shopping there for that, either...)
     
  5. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    Yup.
     

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