Your Own Original Puns, Nobody Elses! Or Else!

[ChemEngineer]

Rita Morales loved her fist name and so she named her first daughter “Rita.” They entered a mother-daughter beauty contest and there was some difficulty telling which was the mother. A judge asked Mr. Morales which was his wife. He replied “Senior Rita is on the left.”

Judge: “How are you spelling that?”

 

[ChemEngineer]

Young woman in court suing her boyfriend, demanding he marry her. “He said he would take me to Maine and marry me, your honor.” Judge: “Is this correct, sir?” Boyfriend: “NO SIR. I SAID I WAS GOING TO BANG HER.”

 

[ChemEngineer]

A small group of wealthy nobles of Europe hired brilliant tutors to educate them. Afterward they collaborated to write a science book, hoping to enlighten the nobles who had not been tutored.

After careful consideration, they titled their book

It's the Counts That Thought

 

[ChemEngineer]

Composers of their era agreed to sit for a painting to be hung in the great museum of Berlin.

The artist was preparing to start and he looked at the subjects of his work and said, “Wolfgang and Ludwig are here but where is Franz Josef?”

Mozart answered, “He’s hidin’.”

Artist: “Well then what about Johann Sebastian?”

Beethoven replied, “He’ll be back.”

 

[ChemEngineer]

 

[ChemEngineer]

Hurley was a 220-pound weightlifter who was always angry because he had never won a weightlifting competition.
Determined to win, he transgendered and changed his name to Shirley.

Surly Shirley was surely burly.

[Come to think of it, many Leftists on my Ignore List are surly Shirleys.]