Thank you for your thoughtful post. In my various capacities scout leader, volunteer at my son's school etc I am around children a great deal and I am required to take numerous courses regarding some of the issues expressed in this thread. I have read what many people have said, I have taken in constructive posts such as yours and they gave me pause and time to reflect on different elements of Allen's behavior, Dylan's behavior and that of the family unit. I looked at this thread in a global way rather than the sole issue of Allen's guilt or innocence. In fact, I have not thought much about that , although I have tried to look at all the facts, circumstances etc. that were available.
One thing I do know...kid's can tell tales, kids have very active and vivid imaginations and kids can easily be manipulated by those they love and trust. IMO the telltale sign is in the behavior of the child and whether that behavior is aberrant or within normal parameters and from there with counseling the truth can be drawn out over time. Then perhaps the road to healing can traversed it is rife with pain, however, when the other end is reached the person may begin to feel whole.
@
Connery
Yes, behaviors to tell the tale. When I was teaching I had a student come to my office as torn up as a can of kraut. Her daughter's behavior had changed. So, she got someone to help her log onto the computer using her daughter's password. When she did she learned that the girl and some of her friends had been lured into a teenage prostitution ring by some 50 year old men. My student contacted the FBI who came and got the computer. She received death threats and went through some really horrible stuff. But the men who were running this teenage prostitution ring were apprehended and shut down. It made national news.
If a parent waits until the child's behavior has changed they have waited too late because the abuse has already happened. The goal is to PREVENT the abuse, so the parent has to act preemptively and many parents just don't know to do that or don't think they can. Many still use the old 'don't take candy from strangers' method, and quite frankly most children just don't get that. If the parent dismisses what the child says out of hand, then the parent has failed the child. Children as young as 7 simply don't have the vocabulary or sexual knowledge to make stuff up. If a parent is coaching the child, and yes, that does happen in some bitter divorce cases, it is not difficult for the seasoned professional to tell because the child cannot deviate from the script the parent gave.
Courts are wising up and most states now have what is called a 'parenting plan.' In states that have those, a parent who disses the other parent or draws the child into a conspiratorial relationship such as making accusations of abuse which are not true can lose not only custody, but also visitation rights. In this day and age, using a child in this manner is going to backfire. When I lived in Nashville, the TN Supreme Court hired a psychologist for a 1 year term to write Tennessee's parenting plan. It has teeth in it.
The fact that in this particular case, the child, now an adult, has pursued the issue of her own accord and has clear symptomology really leaves very little doubt in my mind. It really takes courage for a victim to do something like an 'open letter' to a celeb parent. And, as we all can see, it really draws ire not only toward the person who wrote the letter, but to other members of the family. I believe the system failed this child. And I can tell you from years of practice that the system has failed many children in this country. That is how so many authority figures, not just parents, have gotten away with victimizing children in this country for so long. I hope the tide is turning, but the reality is that bringing a perp to justice remains a mine field for the victim. And the Constitution still gives the accused the right to look dead on in a court of law at the victim even when the victim is a child of tender years. That will not change, nor should it. But to refuse to pursue the perp because of the child's tender years denies that child the closure that he/she needs.
Well, I'm pretty well done with this thread. It is just the same asinine BS over and over with the usual suspects defending adults who victimize children. Cheers.