If the personal God that you believe in is silent, transcendent, and imminently invisible as in close but imperceptible to our five senses, then "seeking God" shouldn't be equated to the search for anything or anyone perceptible to our senses. Your claims are insensible, if not ridiculous. But of course, it's your typical, bitter, disingenuous, religious claptrap-gobbledygook. The Meriweather we all expect.
If you want to believe you're talking to God, that's your prerogative. I believe you're creating this personal God being in your head based upon the information you extracted from your Roman Catholic religion and unfortunately, you're confusing that with reality.
Perhaps you're also being manipulated by other "invisible beings", which aren't God, but they like it when humans are superstitious and stop thinking critically because it serves their interests. Humans are stuck on Earth waiting for a superhero i.e. "messiah-god" to return and save them, rather than doing the work that will redeem them from the encroaching chaos i.e. "entropy", of a material universe.
Perhaps these invisible entities (i.e. ETs, UTs/Ultra-terrestrials/Interdimensional entities or "spirits"..etc), feed off of our fears, feelings, and dreams (like vampires) and keep us from exploring and colonizing space (We're their cattle). Keeping the earthly wildlife where it belongs, on Earth and not causing strife throughout the galaxy (they exploit us here, keeping us religious and deluded). Have you watched the news lately? A bunch of high-tech, intelligent, uncivilized bald apes. We make the "Klingons" look civilized and angelic.
I never implied that an individual is GOD or "Everything that exists", when they're godly or good. That's your cheap polemic and strawman argument.
If I were to have a "God", that God would be all-encompassing and nothing would exist "outside" of it. There's no "outside" or "inside" of an infinite God, because reality itself with all of its innumerable conditions and states, is itself that ultimate reality or "infinite God" (God is The Eternal All).
Nonetheless, nothing that exists amounts to God as an individual. So I recognize that although I am part and parcel of God (The Eternal, Infinite Reality), I as an individual, don't amount to God. God is infinitely greater and more than me. I am just a tiny, micro-cosmic expression of that eternal, infinite ALL i.e. God.
For example, I will use the analogy of my body, with its trillions of cells. I am comprised of a community of trillions of individual, living cells. When those cells unite in the form of the human organism, what emerges is a human being and consciousness. I as a human being, amount to much more than just one individual cell. That one cell, contains my DNA, and from that cell, potentially, another human being could be created provided the means to do it (namely technology), were available. But, I am not just one cell, I am much greater than that.
God is infinitely greater than little me, but nevertheless, I am part and parcel of that infinite reality that is GOD. That one individual cell in my body could say "I am part of John Smith, because I am connected to him, as a member of his body". I am part of reality, and God is reality itself. The very state of being alive and conscious is itself God.
The laws of physics = God. The space-time continuum = God. The universe itself = God. EVERYTHING as a whole = GOD. The smile of an infant in his mother's arms = God, the courageous act of a soldier or marine, jumping on that grenade to save his brothers and sisters in arms = God. God is uniquely and primarily present in every godly, noble act.
I believe, that if there is a God, then we are all connected to that God and each other, irrespective of whatever religious dogma we've been conditioned to believe in. Religion is a human construct, it's just a mental and social framework, through which the principles of life, the divine, cosmic law that is written upon our hearts is expressed. Some religions are better than others in equipping their adherents to realize that divine law and spark, that is already within them.
I owe it to myself and to my fellow human beings and even non-human sentient life as well, to be as godly or civil and thoughtful, as I can. I fail sometimes, but that's the directive and goal. To be good, even if there's no life after death, and this life is all I have, I will place this life on the altar of empathy, solidarity, civility, essentially all that is noble and good. I choose to be good, despite the horrors of life in a material universe that is trying to kill me.
