What is "golf"?

[Woodznutz]

"Golf" is an activity whose purpose is to place a small ball into a distant hole using instruments totally unsuited for the task."

 

[rightwinger]

A good walk spoiled

 

[petro]

I prefer another futile expensive hobby.
Fishing.

But at least I can go for a nice boat ride if they are not biting.

 

[TroglocratsRdumb]

Gold can teach a person new cuss words.

 

[occupied]

Golf is capitalism made into a sport.

 

[1srelluc]

 

[iamwhatiseem]

True story...
This was about 30 years ago. A buddy and I were getting ready to tee off when all of a sudden this guy in a cart drives straight through the fairway we were about to play. We were like - what the hell is happening here, what is this maniac doing??
This particular hole, you tee off of a hill, and just below that hill is a creek. Good 2 feet deep with a decent current.
This man drives straight to the creek right under us. We were so curious and caught off guard by this scene, we just stood there and watched. He gets out of his golf cart and jumps in the creek! Wades toward the center. And pulls out his entire golf club set, Bag and all. Throws it on the shore. Cussing at it and himself, throws it in the cart and drives off.
Hilarious.

 

[Dekster]

I prefer another futile expensive hobby.
Fishing.

But at least I can go for a nice boat ride if they are not biting.

There were two golfers out playing by the lake one day and they spotted these two guys out fishing. All of a sudden a really bad storm came up and flipped the boat over. One of the golfers looked at the other and said, "Serves 'em right. Only an idiot would keep fishing in a storm."


A joke told to me randomly by this really ancient lady who just walked up to me out of the blue one day. I guess it was because I had a golf shirt on.

 

[Darkwind]

 

[petro]

There were two golfers out playing by the lake one day and they spotted these two guys out fishing. All of a sudden a really bad storm came up and flipped the boat over. One of the golfers looked at the other and said, "Serves 'em right. Only an idiot would keep fishing in a storm."


A joke told to me randomly by this really ancient lady who just walked up to me out of the blue one day. I guess it was because I had a golf shirt on.

Two sports where a lightning rod is the main instrument.

 

[Darkwind]

Two sports where a lightning rod is the main instrument.

Naw, just play with a two-iron. Not even God can hit a two-iron.

 

[Woodznutz]

View attachment 665949

Paige Spiranac, yum.

 

[Woodznutz]

Jesus and Moses were playing golf. Moses hit a decent shot but Jesus sent his into a large tree next to the green where it stuck in a branch. Suddenly a crow flew to the ball and dislodged it and it fell to the ground. A squirrel appeared and carried the ball to the edge of the green where a rabbit kicked the ball and it rolled into the cup.

Whereupon Moses looked at Jesus disdainfully and said, "Are you going to play golf, or screw around?"

 

[Woodznutz]

Gold can teach a person new cuss words.

I've played golf just enough to never want to play it again.

 

[Woodznutz]

True story...
This was about 30 years ago. A buddy and I were getting ready to tee off when all of a sudden this guy in a cart drives straight through the fairway we were about to play. We were like - what the hell is happening here, what is this maniac doing??
This particular hole, you tee off of a hill, and just below that hill is a creek. Good 2 feet deep with a decent current.
This man drives straight to the creek right under us. We were so curious and caught off guard by this scene, we just stood there and watched. He gets out of his golf cart and jumps in the creek! Wades toward the center. And pulls out his entire golf club set, Bag and all. Throws it on the shore. Cussing at it and himself, throws it in the cart and drives off.
Hilarious.

Reminds me of a friend who took up golf. He became so exasperated that he literally wrapped all his clubs around a tree and never golfed again.

I knew early on that I wouldn't be good at it. I can't even hit the ball poorly same way twice.

 

[TroglocratsRdumb]

Gold can teach a person new cuss words.

ooops misspelled golf

 

[DGS49]

For those who take up the game with any seriousness, it is psychologically addictive. No shit.

Recall behavioral psychologist B.F. Skinner, father of the "Skinner Box." Using this device, he explored the phenomenon of "reinforcement," and how it affects organisms of all types, including humans.

Recall that there was a button on the side of the Skinner Box. A pigeon was placed in the box, whereupon the bird proceeded to start pecking at random all over the box. That's what pigeons do. Eventually and randomly, the bird would peck the button, which would cause a dispenser to release a kernel of food. After some number of repetitions, the pigeon would make the association between pecking the button and receiving the food. It would peck the button continuously.

Then Skinner would force the pigeon to peck the button twice to get a single kernel of food. THen three times. Then more. Eventually the pigeon gave up and quit pecking the button. So Skinner came up with the idea of "intermittent reinforcement." The idea was that sometimes a single peck would dispense the food. Sometimes twice. Sometimes five pecks. But it was random. Sometimes one, sometimes five, sometimes fifty.

By using random reinforcement he was able to get the pigeons to peck an almost unlimited number of times to get a single kernel of food.

And so it is with golf. Even the worst golfer hits the occasional perfect shot. That shot is the golfer's kernel of food. S/he doesn't know whether the next great shot will be his or her next shot, of four holes in the future, or more. But s/he craves the feeling of satisfaction that the one great shot provides, and s/he will keep golfing in order to get it. Just like that damned pigeon.

Why else would they continue doing something that is so frustrating?

 

[Woodznutz]

For those who take up the game with any seriousness, it is psychologically addictive. No shit.

Recall behavioral psychologist B.F. Skinner, father of the "Skinner Box." Using this device, he explored the phenomenon of "reinforcement," and how it affects organisms of all types, including humans.

Recall that there was a button on the side of the Skinner Box. A pigeon was placed in the box, whereupon the bird proceeded to start pecking at random all over the box. That's what pigeons do. Eventually and randomly, the bird would peck the button, which would cause a dispenser to release a kernel of food. After some number of repetitions, the pigeon would make the association between pecking the button and receiving the food. It would peck the button continuously.

Then Skinner would force the pigeon to peck the button twice to get a single kernel of food. THen three times. Then more. Eventually the pigeon gave up and quit pecking the button. So Skinner came up with the idea of "intermittent reinforcement." The idea was that sometimes a single peck would dispense the food. Sometimes twice. Sometimes five pecks. But it was random. Sometimes one, sometimes five, sometimes fifty.

By using random reinforcement he was able to get the pigeons to peck an almost unlimited number of times to get a single kernel of food.

And so it is with golf. Even the worst golfer hits the occasional perfect shot. That shot is the golfer's kernel of food. S/he doesn't know whether the next great shot will be his or her next shot, of four holes in the future, or more. But s/he craves the feeling of satisfaction that the one great shot provides, and s/he will keep golfing in order to get it. Just like that damned pigeon.

Why else would they continue doing something that is so frustrating?

Of perhaps they can't stand the thought of being defeated by such a simple game. They should consider Dirty Harry's advice:

"A man has to know his limitations."