I suppose it has something to do with the Pandemic, but my life has been beset in recent months with a flurry or weddings. Mostly, it is young "professionals" in their 30's getting married for the first time - which is in itself a phenomenon worth pondering.
Each wedding seems to be more posh than the last. Gaudier venues, more trappings of wealth, etc. Last night, "Black Tie" was "suggested." This is a family that is one generation removed (mine) from weddings at firehalls and in backyards. How did we (they) go from working class to quasi-aristocrats? Not sure.
I have two main gripes about the recent weddings, and I think they are largely shared with others, but the Happy Couples (mainly the brides, I'm sure) don't seem to be getting the message.
To begin, we in this country have a tradition that the Best Man gives a short toast to the Happy Couple before they serve the food. Here is the IDEAL toast: (a) Thank you everyone for coming tonight, especially those who have come from far away, (b) congratulations to the parents of the Bride (& Groom, if you like), and (c) Let's all join in wishing a long, happy, prolific life together after today.
That's it. Takes about 45 seconds, 60 if the Best Man is long-winded.
Now we have the Father of the Bride giving a life history of his daughter, followed by the Father of the Groom doing the same, a few of the Bride's sorority sisters weighing in - I have no idea why - a brother or two of the Groom rambling on for a while, and finally followed by the Best Man giving a 15 minute speech, ending with a half-assed "toast" to the Happy Couple.
At last night's reception, this went on for an hour and fifteen minutes. It was excruciating. And not to be critical, but half of the people in attendance did not even have any champagne with which to toast. A small detail, I realize, but... [Parenthetically, the shortage of workers had apparently infected the caterer that managed this affair. All of the servers and bus-people seemed to have never done it before. They were so bad it was funny].
Then (gripe #2) there was the music. I realize that I would not necessarily enjoy the same catalog of music that a thirty year old couple would like, so I don't care that I hadn't heard most of the songs that were featured. But I do care about my quickly fading ear function. The music was so loud that it was physically painful to even be in the same room as the dance floor. Boom! Boom! Boom! Without a break for two hours until I literally couldn't stand it anymore.
Even during dinner, the "background" music was so loud that you couldn't talk to anyone but the people who were next to you. Even talking to someone on the other side of the table required that you get up and walk over, then shout in their ear.
And the music was relentless. No breaks between songs. The DJ had two playing devices (I don't know what they were), so that he could start the next song before the current one actually ended, thus ensuring a steady stream of painful noise.
I have to say that last night's DJ was doing a good job, because the dance floor was full from before dinner ended at least until I left, two hours later. Sometimes DJ's have to try different types of music to see which one brought out the most dancers, but this guy seemed to have the pulse of the audience from the beginning - and he was a white-haired old guy like me.
I don't think I'm the only person who has problems with the interminable "toasts" or the volume of the music, but that message never gets back to the people planning the event. Next time I'm going to bring a set of industrial-strength ear plugs.
Each wedding seems to be more posh than the last. Gaudier venues, more trappings of wealth, etc. Last night, "Black Tie" was "suggested." This is a family that is one generation removed (mine) from weddings at firehalls and in backyards. How did we (they) go from working class to quasi-aristocrats? Not sure.
I have two main gripes about the recent weddings, and I think they are largely shared with others, but the Happy Couples (mainly the brides, I'm sure) don't seem to be getting the message.
To begin, we in this country have a tradition that the Best Man gives a short toast to the Happy Couple before they serve the food. Here is the IDEAL toast: (a) Thank you everyone for coming tonight, especially those who have come from far away, (b) congratulations to the parents of the Bride (& Groom, if you like), and (c) Let's all join in wishing a long, happy, prolific life together after today.
That's it. Takes about 45 seconds, 60 if the Best Man is long-winded.
Now we have the Father of the Bride giving a life history of his daughter, followed by the Father of the Groom doing the same, a few of the Bride's sorority sisters weighing in - I have no idea why - a brother or two of the Groom rambling on for a while, and finally followed by the Best Man giving a 15 minute speech, ending with a half-assed "toast" to the Happy Couple.
At last night's reception, this went on for an hour and fifteen minutes. It was excruciating. And not to be critical, but half of the people in attendance did not even have any champagne with which to toast. A small detail, I realize, but... [Parenthetically, the shortage of workers had apparently infected the caterer that managed this affair. All of the servers and bus-people seemed to have never done it before. They were so bad it was funny].
Then (gripe #2) there was the music. I realize that I would not necessarily enjoy the same catalog of music that a thirty year old couple would like, so I don't care that I hadn't heard most of the songs that were featured. But I do care about my quickly fading ear function. The music was so loud that it was physically painful to even be in the same room as the dance floor. Boom! Boom! Boom! Without a break for two hours until I literally couldn't stand it anymore.
Even during dinner, the "background" music was so loud that you couldn't talk to anyone but the people who were next to you. Even talking to someone on the other side of the table required that you get up and walk over, then shout in their ear.
And the music was relentless. No breaks between songs. The DJ had two playing devices (I don't know what they were), so that he could start the next song before the current one actually ended, thus ensuring a steady stream of painful noise.
I have to say that last night's DJ was doing a good job, because the dance floor was full from before dinner ended at least until I left, two hours later. Sometimes DJ's have to try different types of music to see which one brought out the most dancers, but this guy seemed to have the pulse of the audience from the beginning - and he was a white-haired old guy like me.
I don't think I'm the only person who has problems with the interminable "toasts" or the volume of the music, but that message never gets back to the people planning the event. Next time I'm going to bring a set of industrial-strength ear plugs.
