Trump to throw out First Amendment at Yankee Stadium next month!

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an event that he described as “historic,” Donald J. Trump announced that he will throw out the First Amendment at Yankee Stadium next month.​

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“It’s going to be an amazing and fantastic thing I’ll be doing,” Trump said. “I’ve asked a lot of history experts, and they all say that no President has thrown out an amendment before.”​

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“Obama was President for eight years and never threw out an amendment,” he said. “What a loser.”​

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Trump said that he had considered throwing out the First Amendment “many, many times before” but had ultimately decided to preserve freedom of the press for his friends at Fox News.​

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“But, thanks to that beauty Chris Wallace, now I know that Fox is just as nasty and fake as the rest,” he said. “The only real journalist left is that nice lady at OAN.”​

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When asked how he is preparing for his Yankee Stadium appearance, Trump said that he is consulting with other world leaders who are experienced in throwing out laws.​

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“I had a terrific conversation with Vladimir Putin,” Trump said. “They don’t have a First Amendment in Russia, but he said that, if they did, he would definitely throw it out. So that made me feel good.”​

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Trump grew misty-eyed as he contemplated his upcoming visit to Yankee Stadium.​

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“I can’t believe I’ll be throwing out the First Amendment,” he said. “Every little boy dreams of this.”​

Trump to Throw Out First Amendment at Yankee Stadium

“Obama was President for eight years and never threw out an amendment,” he said. “What a loser.”

www.newyorker.com

 

[LuckyDuck]

I've watched Trump's most recent videos, including his chat Mariano Rivera, on the White House lawn and at no point has he said any such thing. Another lie from the fake news media.

 

[Harry Dresden]

its the phony doctor lucky....all her posts are in the satirical section......

 

[BertramN]

The OP is a humorous piece of satire, but it is also a sincere wish of the impeached president trump and his devoted fanatics.

In fact, the impeached president trump would like nothing better than to scrap the entire United States Constitution, and he has the full support of his devoted fanatics if he ever wants to try. They already support the establishment of his Gestapo, and really want to see these thugs in every city and town in the U.S.

The end goal of this Gestapo force will soon be known, and it's obvious it ain't gonna be to enforce constitutional law across the country. But this does not worry the impeached president trump's devoted fanatics. They know their hero plans to do what is best for America, and if installing himself as dictator is what he wants, he has the full support of his devoted fanatics.

As the United States' first dictator, his devoted fanatics know El Douche Shay will be a benevolent leader. After all, look how his benevolence has united the American public in just the few short years he's been spewing his hate-filled rhetoric.

Additionally, his devoted fanatics know their undying loyalty will be rewarded, as they will be exempted from all acts of retribution he orders carried out by his Gestapo. His record of caution towards innocent bystanders was proven by his sorry response to the COVID-19 virus.

Yes, the OP was, indeed humorous, but tragically, it was too close to the truth to inspire raucous guffaws.

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