The real Jesus

[irosie91]

HOBIE----I is an INNOCENT AS THE NEW FALLEN SNOW "INNOCENT" because I never had a "jewish education" at all. s

Well, yes your utter lack of education is always obvious. Why do you think nobody notices you don't know squat about History or the OT or NT or anything else related? You get along fine with ranks and bigots, like Hashish eater and Shimon, another obvious clue.

Why not just stay focused on your fantasy that Constantine rewrote entire theologies? That's at least funny in some cases, especially since that fantasy makes cranks think if they sell that rubbish then they get to rewrite and invent their own New Improved Hippie Jesus stuff and we're supposed to pretend it's 'legit'. lol lol lol

Hey, tell us all about Constantine's rewrites of the Vedas! That would be fun reading , no doubt. He rewrote everything else, so why not?

wrong again-----my knowledge is UNSULLIED by
the vacuity of the SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER and
the JELLY BEAN MYTH

 

[irosie91]

[QUOTE="hobelim, post: 20445864, member: 43287


Let me put it this way. When Jesus appeared the first time he said the kingdom of God is at hand, not in some distant future but right then.. When people of a village town or settlement rejected his teaching and ran him out of town he said the kingdom of God had come close...eventually he was killed and the entire nation and way of life was destroyed.

rosie I don't remember ^^^^ that. It was John
the BAPTIST (yochanan TOVEL) who said
"THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS AT HAND" <<< that's why Christians associate him with ELIJAH.

"when a people of a village town or 'settlement' rejected his teachings" WHEN WAS THAT?

Eventually he was killed------right <<< RIGHT like tens of thousands of his fellow Pharisees----the romans hated the Pharisees who refuse to lick roman ass.

"the entire nation and way of life was destroyed"

PIC WISHES---------am yisrael chai!!!!

Apparently when there was an opportunity for the people to accept the truth he spoke which potentially would have resulted in peace and they rejected it they got exactly what they were hoping for, an apocalyptic conflagration.

APOCALYPTIC? for whom AM YISRAEL CHAI-------rome is dust

Be careful about what you wish for. God just might give it to you.

"From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."

For what its worth Rosie,

The marking of the faithful occurs between the breaking of the sixth and seventh seals, securing the faithful from destruction..

sheeesh HOBIE----I is an INNOCENT AS THE NEW FALLEN SNOW-----jew. "INNOCENT" because I never had a "jewish education" at all. No "Hebrew school" ----no religion at home----just a chicken soup jew. BUT I was an avid reader since early childhood----without much to read. The nice Christian ladies of my WASP town did pass out free new testaments during the Christmas season ----so NATURALLY I READ IT. I do not remember JESUS saying "REPENT FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS AT HAND"------that was JOHN THE BAPTIST ("god"
bless him------a very typical jew with the TOVEL thing
on his mind) John (the poor innocent jew) ----was
into ----IMMINENT MESSIAH during a time of severe
strife--------a very common neurosis amongst jews for the past 3000 years

After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee,proclaiming the good news of God. “The time has come, he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!”

Mark 1:15

what 'JOHN" was "put into prison" and by whom?
and who DA HELL is "mark"

lol... these are very deep mysteries,.

Why don't you trade in your Sunday school pamphlets and read the new testament.

You are in way over your head darling.

wishful thinking "DEEP MYSTERIES"

 

[hobelim]

"From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."

For what its worth Rosie,

The marking of the faithful occurs between the breaking of the sixth and seventh seals, securing the faithful from destruction..

sheeesh HOBIE----I is an INNOCENT AS THE NEW FALLEN SNOW-----jew. "INNOCENT" because I never had a "jewish education" at all. No "Hebrew school" ----no religion at home----just a chicken soup jew. BUT I was an avid reader since early childhood----without much to read. The nice Christian ladies of my WASP town did pass out free new testaments during the Christmas season ----so NATURALLY I READ IT. I do not remember JESUS saying "REPENT FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS AT HAND"------that was JOHN THE BAPTIST ("god"
bless him------a very typical jew with the TOVEL thing
on his mind) John (the poor innocent jew) ----was
into ----IMMINENT MESSIAH during a time of severe
strife--------a very common neurosis amongst jews for the past 3000 years

After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee,proclaiming the good news of God. “The time has come, he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!”

Mark 1:15

what 'JOHN" was "put into prison" and by whom?
and who DA HELL is "mark"

lol... these are very deep mysteries,.

Why don't you trade in your Sunday school pamphlets and read the new testament.

You are in way over your head darling.

wishful thinking "DEEP MYSTERIES"

You know, its almost believable that you are as innocent as the new fallen snow, until all of that filth starts dripping from your lips.

 

[irosie91]

sheeesh HOBIE----I is an INNOCENT AS THE NEW FALLEN SNOW-----jew. "INNOCENT" because I never had a "jewish education" at all. No "Hebrew school" ----no religion at home----just a chicken soup jew. BUT I was an avid reader since early childhood----without much to read. The nice Christian ladies of my WASP town did pass out free new testaments during the Christmas season ----so NATURALLY I READ IT. I do not remember JESUS saying "REPENT FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS AT HAND"------that was JOHN THE BAPTIST ("god"
bless him------a very typical jew with the TOVEL thing
on his mind) John (the poor innocent jew) ----was
into ----IMMINENT MESSIAH during a time of severe
strife--------a very common neurosis amongst jews for the past 3000 years

After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee,proclaiming the good news of God. “The time has come, he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!”

Mark 1:15

what 'JOHN" was "put into prison" and by whom?
and who DA HELL is "mark"

lol... these are very deep mysteries,.

Why don't you trade in your Sunday school pamphlets and read the new testament.

You are in way over your head darling.

wishful thinking "DEEP MYSTERIES"

You know, its almost believable that you are as innocent as the new fallen snow, until all of that filth starts dripping from your lips.

what "filth" ? my horrific repudiation of the EASTER BUNNY? I happen to know that the
EASTER BUNNY is the WHORE OF BABYLON

 

[hobelim]

After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee,proclaiming the good news of God. “The time has come, he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!”

Mark 1:15

what 'JOHN" was "put into prison" and by whom?
and who DA HELL is "mark"

lol... these are very deep mysteries,.

Why don't you trade in your Sunday school pamphlets and read the new testament.

You are in way over your head darling.

wishful thinking "DEEP MYSTERIES"

You know, its almost believable that you are as innocent as the new fallen snow, until all of that filth starts dripping from your lips.

what "filth" ? my horrific repudiation of the EASTER BUNNY? I happen to know that the
EASTER BUNNY is the WHORE OF BABYLON

All I can tell you is that the absence of sound guidance in your life ever since you were a little girl has created the circumstance for rancor based on infantile resentments to grow unchecked in your mind for your entire life inhibiting your emotional and intellectual growth, perverting your perceptions, contaminating your thoughts, and blinding you to the light of truth .

Aren't you tired of hemorrhaging every time someone pokes you with a pin? Put a sock in it Rosie. You are old.

Its high time you had a Mikveh in living water.....while you still have some time.

 

[irosie91]

what 'JOHN" was "put into prison" and by whom?
and who DA HELL is "mark"

lol... these are very deep mysteries,.

Why don't you trade in your Sunday school pamphlets and read the new testament.

You are in way over your head darling.

wishful thinking "DEEP MYSTERIES"

You know, its almost believable that you are as innocent as the new fallen snow, until all of that filth starts dripping from your lips.

what "filth" ? my horrific repudiation of the EASTER BUNNY? I happen to know that the
EASTER BUNNY is the WHORE OF BABYLON

All I can tell you is that the absence of sound guidance in your life ever since you were a little girl has created the circumstance for rancor based on infantile emotional resentments to grow unchecked in your mind for your entire life inhibiting your emotional and intellectual growth, perverting your perceptions, contaminating your thoughts, and blinding you to the light of truth .

Aren't you tired of hemorrhaging every time someone pokes you with a pin? Put a sock in it Rosie.

It high time you had a Mikveh.

Hobie---your response is not only SILLY---but also vulgar. The last line made me laugh----something worthy of a playground SNOT.
My PROFESSIONAL ADVICE is----do not GUESS
"the history" VERY CAREFULLY elicit the HISTORY and very carefully analyze it or your diagnosis is bound to be garble

 

[hobelim]

lol... these are very deep mysteries,.

Why don't you trade in your Sunday school pamphlets and read the new testament.

You are in way over your head darling.

wishful thinking "DEEP MYSTERIES"

You know, its almost believable that you are as innocent as the new fallen snow, until all of that filth starts dripping from your lips.

what "filth" ? my horrific repudiation of the EASTER BUNNY? I happen to know that the
EASTER BUNNY is the WHORE OF BABYLON

All I can tell you is that the absence of sound guidance in your life ever since you were a little girl has created the circumstance for rancor based on infantile emotional resentments to grow unchecked in your mind for your entire life inhibiting your emotional and intellectual growth, perverting your perceptions, contaminating your thoughts, and blinding you to the light of truth .

Aren't you tired of hemorrhaging every time someone pokes you with a pin? Put a sock in it Rosie.

It high time you had a Mikveh.

Hobie---your response is not only SILLY---but also vulgar. The last line made me laugh----something worthy of a playground SNOT.
My PROFESSIONAL ADVICE is----do not GUESS
"the history" VERY CAREFULLY elicit the HISTORY and very carefully analyze it or your diagnosis is bound to be garble

Listen or don't listen. I'm not the one who was crippled for life by the 8 year old shiksa meanies in sunday school.

 

[irosie91]

wishful thinking "DEEP MYSTERIES"

You know, its almost believable that you are as innocent as the new fallen snow, until all of that filth starts dripping from your lips.

what "filth" ? my horrific repudiation of the EASTER BUNNY? I happen to know that the
EASTER BUNNY is the WHORE OF BABYLON

All I can tell you is that the absence of sound guidance in your life ever since you were a little girl has created the circumstance for rancor based on infantile emotional resentments to grow unchecked in your mind for your entire life inhibiting your emotional and intellectual growth, perverting your perceptions, contaminating your thoughts, and blinding you to the light of truth .

Aren't you tired of hemorrhaging every time someone pokes you with a pin? Put a sock in it Rosie.

It high time you had a Mikveh.

Hobie---your response is not only SILLY---but also vulgar. The last line made me laugh----something worthy of a playground SNOT.
My PROFESSIONAL ADVICE is----do not GUESS
"the history" VERY CAREFULLY elicit the HISTORY and very carefully analyze it or your diagnosis is bound to be garble

Listen or don't listen. I'm not the one who was crippled for life by the 8 year old shiksa meanies in sunday school.

try again------nothing happened to me in sunday school---(Protestant-----I am not sure of the sect)
The little girls who tormented me were catholics----who attended the local parochial school. Not for all that long----only during kindergarten and first grade (that's age 5 - 7. In order to understand it------you should also know that the TOWN in which my dad bought a small house in response to THE TWINS (sibs # 4 and 5) had-----at one time---been "restricted". Although I did learn something about what little catholic girls learn
at home and in school-----that experience has no effect on my understanding of the life and times of Jesus nor did I have PRECONCEIVED notions on that
subject since I had no jewish religious education AT ALL

 

[hobelim]

You know, its almost believable that you are as innocent as the new fallen snow, until all of that filth starts dripping from your lips.

what "filth" ? my horrific repudiation of the EASTER BUNNY? I happen to know that the
EASTER BUNNY is the WHORE OF BABYLON

All I can tell you is that the absence of sound guidance in your life ever since you were a little girl has created the circumstance for rancor based on infantile emotional resentments to grow unchecked in your mind for your entire life inhibiting your emotional and intellectual growth, perverting your perceptions, contaminating your thoughts, and blinding you to the light of truth .

Aren't you tired of hemorrhaging every time someone pokes you with a pin? Put a sock in it Rosie.

It high time you had a Mikveh.

Hobie---your response is not only SILLY---but also vulgar. The last line made me laugh----something worthy of a playground SNOT.
My PROFESSIONAL ADVICE is----do not GUESS
"the history" VERY CAREFULLY elicit the HISTORY and very carefully analyze it or your diagnosis is bound to be garble

Listen or don't listen. I'm not the one who was crippled for life by the 8 year old shiksa meanies in sunday school.

try again------nothing happened to me in sunday school---(Protestant-----I am not sure of the sect)
The little girls who tormented me were catholics----who attended the local parochial school. Not for all that long----only during kindergarten and first grade (that's age 5 - 7. In order to understand it------you should also know that the TOWN in which my dad bought a small house in response to THE TWINS (sibs # 4 and 5) had-----at one time---been "restricted". Although I did learn something about what little catholic girls learn
at home and in school-----that experience has no effect on my understanding of the life and times of Jesus nor did I have PRECONCEIVED notions on that
subject since I had no jewish religious education AT ALL

There you go again..

I don't need to guess the HISTORY.

Like I said, you start hemorrhaging the HISTORY every time someone pokes you with a pin..

Put a sock in it and get over it already.

 

[irosie91]

what "filth" ? my horrific repudiation of the EASTER BUNNY? I happen to know that the
EASTER BUNNY is the WHORE OF BABYLON

All I can tell you is that the absence of sound guidance in your life ever since you were a little girl has created the circumstance for rancor based on infantile emotional resentments to grow unchecked in your mind for your entire life inhibiting your emotional and intellectual growth, perverting your perceptions, contaminating your thoughts, and blinding you to the light of truth .

Aren't you tired of hemorrhaging every time someone pokes you with a pin? Put a sock in it Rosie.

It high time you had a Mikveh.

Hobie---your response is not only SILLY---but also vulgar. The last line made me laugh----something worthy of a playground SNOT.
My PROFESSIONAL ADVICE is----do not GUESS
"the history" VERY CAREFULLY elicit the HISTORY and very carefully analyze it or your diagnosis is bound to be garble

Listen or don't listen. I'm not the one who was crippled for life by the 8 year old shiksa meanies in sunday school.

try again------nothing happened to me in sunday school---(Protestant-----I am not sure of the sect)
The little girls who tormented me were catholics----who attended the local parochial school. Not for all that long----only during kindergarten and first grade (that's age 5 - 7. In order to understand it------you should also know that the TOWN in which my dad bought a small house in response to THE TWINS (sibs # 4 and 5) had-----at one time---been "restricted". Although I did learn something about what little catholic girls learn
at home and in school-----that experience has no effect on my understanding of the life and times of Jesus nor did I have PRECONCEIVED notions on that
subject since I had no jewish religious education AT ALL

There you go again..

I don't need to guess the HISTORY.

Like I said, you start hemorrhaging the HISTORY every time someone pokes you with a pin..

Put a sock in it and get over it already.

but you did try and failed to GUESS my history in your idiot post. Much of
my knowledge about the various "beliefs" around the world comes from
people who HARBOR those beliefs. I do not GUESS. Nor do I shoot out
gutter farts as do YOU. Your posts remind me the chit chat I overheard from
people I encountered on their way to the hospital methadone clinic

 

[james bond]

He saved us all, but not all will be saved. The dead will end up believing lies and being tricked.

 

[irosie91]

He saved us all, but not all will be saved. The dead will end up believing lies and being tricked.

believing dead?

 

[hobelim]

All I can tell you is that the absence of sound guidance in your life ever since you were a little girl has created the circumstance for rancor based on infantile emotional resentments to grow unchecked in your mind for your entire life inhibiting your emotional and intellectual growth, perverting your perceptions, contaminating your thoughts, and blinding you to the light of truth .

Aren't you tired of hemorrhaging every time someone pokes you with a pin? Put a sock in it Rosie.

It high time you had a Mikveh.

Hobie---your response is not only SILLY---but also vulgar. The last line made me laugh----something worthy of a playground SNOT.
My PROFESSIONAL ADVICE is----do not GUESS
"the history" VERY CAREFULLY elicit the HISTORY and very carefully analyze it or your diagnosis is bound to be garble

Listen or don't listen. I'm not the one who was crippled for life by the 8 year old shiksa meanies in sunday school.

try again------nothing happened to me in sunday school---(Protestant-----I am not sure of the sect)
The little girls who tormented me were catholics----who attended the local parochial school. Not for all that long----only during kindergarten and first grade (that's age 5 - 7. In order to understand it------you should also know that the TOWN in which my dad bought a small house in response to THE TWINS (sibs # 4 and 5) had-----at one time---been "restricted". Although I did learn something about what little catholic girls learn
at home and in school-----that experience has no effect on my understanding of the life and times of Jesus nor did I have PRECONCEIVED notions on that
subject since I had no jewish religious education AT ALL

There you go again..

I don't need to guess the HISTORY.

Like I said, you start hemorrhaging the HISTORY every time someone pokes you with a pin..

Put a sock in it and get over it already.

but you did try and failed to GUESS my history in your idiot post. Much of
my knowledge about the various "beliefs" around the world comes from
people who HARBOR those beliefs. I do not GUESS. Nor do I shoot out
gutter farts as do YOU. Your posts remind me the chit chat I overheard from
people I encountered on their way to the hospital methadone clinic

No, Rosie, I didn't GUESS your history.

You might not realize this but you cry about what mean shiksa girls did you you when you were 6-8 years old all the time and in great detail, hemorrhaging all over these pages as if it happened yesterday.

Its like you never got over losing your first teddy bear.

WTF.

PUT A SOCK IN IT ALREADY


Jeez

 

[irosie91]

Hobie---your response is not only SILLY---but also vulgar. The last line made me laugh----something worthy of a playground SNOT.
My PROFESSIONAL ADVICE is----do not GUESS
"the history" VERY CAREFULLY elicit the HISTORY and very carefully analyze it or your diagnosis is bound to be garble

Listen or don't listen. I'm not the one who was crippled for life by the 8 year old shiksa meanies in sunday school.

try again------nothing happened to me in sunday school---(Protestant-----I am not sure of the sect)
The little girls who tormented me were catholics----who attended the local parochial school. Not for all that long----only during kindergarten and first grade (that's age 5 - 7. In order to understand it------you should also know that the TOWN in which my dad bought a small house in response to THE TWINS (sibs # 4 and 5) had-----at one time---been "restricted". Although I did learn something about what little catholic girls learn
at home and in school-----that experience has no effect on my understanding of the life and times of Jesus nor did I have PRECONCEIVED notions on that
subject since I had no jewish religious education AT ALL

There you go again..

I don't need to guess the HISTORY.

Like I said, you start hemorrhaging the HISTORY every time someone pokes you with a pin..

Put a sock in it and get over it already.

but you did try and failed to GUESS my history in your idiot post. Much of
my knowledge about the various "beliefs" around the world comes from
people who HARBOR those beliefs. I do not GUESS. Nor do I shoot out
gutter farts as do YOU. Your posts remind me the chit chat I overheard from
people I encountered on their way to the hospital methadone clinic

No, Rosie, I didn't GUESS your history.

You might not realize this but you cry about what mean shiksa girls did you you when you were 6-8 years old all the time and in great detail, hemorrhaging all over these pages as if it happened yesterday.

Its like you never got over losing your bestest teddy bear.

WTF.

I have never used the word "shiksa" to refer to any girl in my life. I did mention my background in "religion" -------in a truthful manner----you invented that which in your addled catechism whore poisoned
mind IMAGINED about my background in religion. Since I do have experience with catechism whore poisoned minds-----it is logical for me to cite just how I came into contact with that atrocity. I also mentioned the FACT that I read the NT as a child----since copies were handed out freely by nice old ladies. I also mentioned the fact that I read your islamo Nazi literature since that stuff was handed out even more freely. Hemorrhage?

 

[hobelim]

Listen or don't listen. I'm not the one who was crippled for life by the 8 year old shiksa meanies in sunday school.

try again------nothing happened to me in sunday school---(Protestant-----I am not sure of the sect)
The little girls who tormented me were catholics----who attended the local parochial school. Not for all that long----only during kindergarten and first grade (that's age 5 - 7. In order to understand it------you should also know that the TOWN in which my dad bought a small house in response to THE TWINS (sibs # 4 and 5) had-----at one time---been "restricted". Although I did learn something about what little catholic girls learn
at home and in school-----that experience has no effect on my understanding of the life and times of Jesus nor did I have PRECONCEIVED notions on that
subject since I had no jewish religious education AT ALL

There you go again..

I don't need to guess the HISTORY.

Like I said, you start hemorrhaging the HISTORY every time someone pokes you with a pin..

Put a sock in it and get over it already.

but you did try and failed to GUESS my history in your idiot post. Much of
my knowledge about the various "beliefs" around the world comes from
people who HARBOR those beliefs. I do not GUESS. Nor do I shoot out
gutter farts as do YOU. Your posts remind me the chit chat I overheard from
people I encountered on their way to the hospital methadone clinic

No, Rosie, I didn't GUESS your history.

You might not realize this but you cry about what mean shiksa girls did you you when you were 6-8 years old all the time and in great detail, hemorrhaging all over these pages as if it happened yesterday.

Its like you never got over losing your bestest teddy bear.

WTF.

I have never used the word "shiksa" to refer to any girl in my life. I did mention my background in "religion" -------in a truthful manner----you invented that which in your addled catechism whore poisoned
mind IMAGINED about my background in religion. Since I do have experience with catechism whore poisoned minds-----it is logical for me to cite just how I came into contact with that atrocity. I also mentioned the FACT that I read the NT as a child----since copies were handed out freely by nice old ladies. I also mentioned the fact that I read your islamo Nazi literature since that stuff was handed out even more freely. Hemorrhage?

Like I said....

Thanks for proving my point.

 

[hobelim]

He saved us all, but not all will be saved. The dead will end up believing lies and being tricked.

believing dead?

Yeah, dead..

Dead people are everywhere. Walking around like regular people. They can't see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don't know that they are dead.

I'm sure that more than one of them has tried to get you to believe that Jesus was edible during your tragic life.

Come to think of it, I have noticed that you aren't breathing the breath of life...in or out.

 

[james bond]

He saved us all, but not all will be saved. The dead will end up believing lies and being tricked.

believing dead?

The spiritually dead or those already pre-destined for it.

 

[irosie91]

try again------nothing happened to me in sunday school---(Protestant-----I am not sure of the sect)
The little girls who tormented me were catholics----who attended the local parochial school. Not for all that long----only during kindergarten and first grade (that's age 5 - 7. In order to understand it------you should also know that the TOWN in which my dad bought a small house in response to THE TWINS (sibs # 4 and 5) had-----at one time---been "restricted". Although I did learn something about what little catholic girls learn
at home and in school-----that experience has no effect on my understanding of the life and times of Jesus nor did I have PRECONCEIVED notions on that
subject since I had no jewish religious education AT ALL

There you go again..

I don't need to guess the HISTORY.

Like I said, you start hemorrhaging the HISTORY every time someone pokes you with a pin..

Put a sock in it and get over it already.

but you did try and failed to GUESS my history in your idiot post. Much of
my knowledge about the various "beliefs" around the world comes from
people who HARBOR those beliefs. I do not GUESS. Nor do I shoot out
gutter farts as do YOU. Your posts remind me the chit chat I overheard from
people I encountered on their way to the hospital methadone clinic

No, Rosie, I didn't GUESS your history.

You might not realize this but you cry about what mean shiksa girls did you you when you were 6-8 years old all the time and in great detail, hemorrhaging all over these pages as if it happened yesterday.

Its like you never got over losing your bestest teddy bear.

WTF.

I have never used the word "shiksa" to refer to any girl in my life. I did mention my background in "religion" -------in a truthful manner----you invented that which in your addled catechism whore poisoned
mind IMAGINED about my background in religion. Since I do have experience with catechism whore poisoned minds-----it is logical for me to cite just how I came into contact with that atrocity. I also mentioned the FACT that I read the NT as a child----since copies were handed out freely by nice old ladies. I also mentioned the fact that I read your islamo Nazi literature since that stuff was handed out even more freely. Hemorrhage?

Like I said....

Thanks for proving my point.

you have no point

 

[irosie91]

He saved us all, but not all will be saved. The dead will end up believing lies and being tricked.

believing dead?

The spiritually dead or those already pre-destined for it.

predestined

 

[kjw47]

Do you know him?-- John 20:17, Revelation 3:12--1Corinthians 15:24-28

Know him as a liar? 'Cause you used the problematic verse in John that shows him telling Mary to lie for him, since he didn't ascend to Father he descended to hell instead he is telling her to lie.
Acts 2:27, 1 Peter 3:19,
Apostles creed=he went the opposite direction unless he admits he's the son of the devil(his father).-oops
View attachment 206469
Above is rhe fishman god Dagon who was called the devil, his son was baal born dec 25th & Baal's 3day risen from the dead out of a tomb death scene is masked imitated by his son the morning star=Jesus in Rev 22:16.
Look up the Canaanite dying god son mythology of athtar the fierce.

Your problem is one of grammar.

Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

I have not yet ascended.
I am ascending.
2 different tenses.

Christ gave no postmortem itinerary. And never needed anyone to lie on His behalf.

When Christ died, He went to Abraham's Bosom to collect those who favored God in life, but could not ascend to the Father until their sins were paid for. They were a chasm away from hell in a totally different environment. Christ spoke to those in Hell for 3 days before gathering God's own. Abraham, King David, Adam, Eve, a poor beggar and others returned with Christ and remained on earth for 40 days. Same as Jesus.
There was a reason why certain graves opened at Christ's death. Those people were coming back. Here is what was documented from eye witnesses, in real time during the event. This is the testimony of 3 Temple priests and what they saw on their way back to the Temple:

"When we were coming from Galilee we met at the Jordan a very great multitude of men, fathers who had been some time dead"...And they went, and walked around all the region of the Jordan and of the mountains, and they were coming back without finding them. And, behold, suddenly there appeared coming down from Mount Amalech a very great number, as it were, twelve thousand men, who had risen with the Lord. And though they recognized very many there, they were not able to say anything to them for fear and the angelic vision; and they stood at a distance gazing and hearing them, how they walked along singing praises, and saying; "The Lord has risen again from the dead, as He has said; let us all exult and be glad, since He reins for ever". Then those who had been sent were astonished and fell to the ground for fear, and received the answer from them, that they should see Karinus and Leucius in their own houses. And they rose up and went to their houses, and found them spending their time in prayer.

Karinus and Leucius were two Temple priests that had recently died and were buried by the Pharisees. Both were taken to the Temple and interrogated separately upon their return with Christ. Their accounts were documented.

The bible teaches--they were in Sheol= the grave in the OT. And in Hades= The grave in the NT. There are many hidden truths and disguised truths( Daniel 12:4) in the bible. But now truth is abundant.

good you mentioned DANIEL ----Daniel is written
in a kinda obscure manner-----using some words which remain ----virtually UNDEFINED (it is Aramaic but still undefined words).
It is so obscure that some jewish scholars counseled
that it should not be read ?? INTENTLY??---in short
it is so mystical as to be considered bordering on
rejected dangerous magical stuff. HOWEVER it seems clear to me that it fascinated lots of people-----like those "JOHN"(s) . persons. YUP obscure stuff-------very ESTOTERIC Daniel was the original
EDGAR ALLEN POE without the absinthe

That means they cant understand the hidden truths. Its not magical stuff. symbolism is used quite a bit in the bible.