The New Liberal Bible!


Charter Member
May 8, 2004
Podunk, WI
The New Liberal Bible!

Ladies and gents... Are you sick and tired of Christian "radicals" trying to spread the word of God by quoting those Bible scriptures? Tired of having to know what Leviticus has to say about homosexuality being an abomination? Sick of those lousy, intolerant anti-abortion "fanatics" quoting scriptures about how God knew us when we were still in the womb? Had enough of those stupid 10 commandments?

Well finally, the liberals have done something about it! Not since King James has the Bible been reformed with such intensity! Folks, the liberals have re-wrote the Bible! That's right! With the help of some of the most pristine and pompous editors from the New York Times, they have managed to re-write the ENTIRE THING!

Excerpts from the New Liberal Bible:

Hillary 21:12 "And thou shall hear me roar... The young 12 year old who opens legs shall be allowed to get an abortion without the consent or knowledge of a parent or guardian."

Gore 14:7 "And if a frog be placed into a pot of boiled water, the little fella shall leap out from the water to safety. Anyone who puts the life of a human before the frog shall be deemed bigoted and will burn in the lake of fire."

Clinton 16:14 "Having inappropriate relations with interns while being a married man and the leader of a country shall not be the business of the taxpaying public."

Clinton 21:2 "It all depends on what the meaning of is, is."

Kerry 8:17 "And anyone who critices the holy matrimony of Adam and Steve shall be brought before the people and sentenced to death by stoning."

Kennedy 17:3 "Being born into a wealthy family holding liberal views is holy. Going to Hollywood and making millions there by pretending to be someone else on the television is righteous. However... any white man who goes to school and works hard for his money is evil once he obtains a certain amount."

Liberals, finally, the scriptures needed to counteract with the other, out-dated ones! Not until now was there a way to debate what was actually in the book... because now there is a NEW book! Remember, folks... know your bible! Get yours today!
I hope the 15 people that viewed this were all liberals, and I hope it pissed everyone of you off... :finger3:
Don't forget

Darwin 2:4 - "And then the chemicals randomly formed organic goo"

Hypocracy 1:22 - "Do as I say, not as I do"

Immoral Acts XIV 22:56-59 -"Thirty-two others received the same early Winter Holiday present from Clinton. Their offenses ranged from conspiring to manufacture marijuana to being AWOL in the Korean War. The President, charged in a House impeachment vote last Saturday with lying under oath and obstructing justice in the investigation of his affair with Monica S. Lewinsky, pardoned three people for lying to government agencies or a bank. Clinton issued 21 pardons at Christmastime last year, and has granted executive clemency to 110 people since he took office in 1993."

Makes one Proud to Be A Liberal! :salute:

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