The mistress

[Colin]

A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress..."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris , no more wintering in Barbados , no more summers in Tuscany , no more BMW in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Moishe?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is prettier," she replies...

 

[rightwinger]

Thanks

 

[Dis]

 

[germanguy]

A Rabbi walks along the beach in Miami, when god speaks to him:

God: "Rabbi, you are a righteous man, I will grant you one wish"
Rabbi: "Oh great- let me think..."
God: "Choose well...you only have one !"
Rabbi: "I always wanted to go from here to Europe by car on a bridge"
God: "Geez - a bridge from here to Europe. Are you kidding....
Imagine the materiel, the worktime and how senseless this is to make a bridge that long.
Do you have no other, more important wish ?"

Rabbi "Well, I am married and have two sisters and three daughters.
I want to fully understand what woman want, what their needs and desires are when they talk to me."
God: "Hm...."

After a minute the Rabbi asks "Are you still here - God ?"

God: "Two lanes or four lanes ?"