The Kracken Was Released -- And It Was Dumber Than I Thought

[Toro]

MeBelle mdk Meister

If someone wants to merge this thread with the others, please feel free.

I didn't see them

Thanks

 

[citygator]

And that's pretty dumb.

I wish I could post the entire article, because it is hilarious at noting how stupid the lawsuits are. It details the spelling mistakes and lack of using a space bar, making the document almost "unreadable."

But to hit the highlights as they pertain to the courts.

Powell had been threatening to release the Kraken for the last week, which she spent “practicing law on her own” after being unpersoned by the Trump legal team following a press conference in which she spouted conspiracy theories so insane that even Giuliani’s hair dye was trying to get out of the room. It wasn’t clear what the Kraken was until it was released and we learned that it had taken the form of matching his-and-hers lawsuits in Georgia and Michigan. Lawsuits that have redefined rock bottom. ...​

​

The two lawsuits, which are very similar to each other, reiterate more or less the same meritless claims that just got Rudy et al. unceremoniously tossed out of the Third Circuit. ...​

But as specious the legal arguments are and as incomprehensible as the copy is, the craziest thing about the case is the substance. This complaint reads like it was drafted at the afterparty for a three-day QAnon convention. And it might have been, given that one of Powell’s more absurd “witnesses” is Ronald Watkins who, alongside his father, runs the imageboard where “Q” drops his messages. Hmmmm. The reason Watkins is part of this case is unclear. Powell is claiming him as an expert in Dominion’s voting software, but you would hope that she could find someone better—like I don’t know, someone who has worked with it maybe?​

​

The basis of Watkins’s alleged expertise is the fact that he claims to have read the manual. This may come as a surprise but reading a software manual does not qualify you to testify as an expert witness in a federal courtroom.​

​

If you can believe this, Watkins isn’t even the strangest witness. The award would go to Mystery Man Lord Tensai. Powell redacted this witness’s name from all the filings, including those sent to the defendants. The Mystery Witness proclaims that he/she/it wants to “let the world know the truth about the corruption, manipulation, and lies being committed by a conspiracy of people and companies” that “began more than a decade ago in Venezuela and has spread to countries all over the world.” Our Mystery Witness, whom the declaration assures us is “an adult of sound mine” [sic . . . lmao] claims to have gathered the information about this conspiracy while serving on long-dead Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez’s security detail. We don’t know this person’s name, but they tell us that if we doubt the veracity of their claims, we only have to—well, see for yourself.​

​

View attachment 423387​

​

Ah so the Mystery Witness also has a Mystery Corroborator!​

​

For those who are not versed in the particulars of high-stakes lawsuits of this nature, let me affirm that, no, you cannot hide the identity of your star witness from the people you’re suing. And no, you cannot hide the identity of the people who will vouch for the veracity of your star witness. ...​

The ‘Kraken’ Lawsuit Was Released And It’s Way Dumber Than You Realize

Readingitisguaranteedtogiveyouaheadache.

thebulwark.com

There is zero chance of this succeeding.

But that's not the point of the lawsuits. The point of the lawsuits is to further convince Trump's voters that the election was stolen, even though there is no evidence that can be held up in a court of law.

It's Kabuki Theater.

FAKE NEWS. It would be impossible for the case to be dumber than I think.