The Female Demerit System

[Tom Horn]

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)

But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It’s her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)

Named Tina (-10)

Tina is a dancer (-20)

Tina has silicone implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (+2)

You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+3)

Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)

And it’s all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+1)

You take her to a movie she likes (+3)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It’s called ‘Death Cop’ (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, “Where?” (-35)

Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)

 

[Eaglewings]

Sorry Tom, but a woman knows when you do something to expect something..lol ..it needs to come from your heart.


.

 

[Moonglow]

Sorry Tom, but a woman knows when you do something to expect something..lol ..it needs to come from your heart.


.

Tom is a seventy five year old bachelor...

 

[Ridgerunner]

Sorry Tom, but a woman knows when you do something to expect something..lol ..it needs to come from your heart.

 

[Tom Horn]

Tom is a seventy five year old bachelor...

Says the hermaphrodite ^^^^^^^^^ who lives in a shed behind a WalMart.

 

[Mikeoxenormous]

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)

But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It’s her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)

Named Tina (-10)

Tina is a dancer (-20)

Tina has silicone implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (+2)

You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+3)

Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)

And it’s all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+1)

You take her to a movie she likes (+3)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It’s called ‘Death Cop’ (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, “Where?” (-35)

Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)

You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000)

I just crapped my pants laughing so hard....

 

[Moonglow]

Tom is a seventy five year old bachelor...

Says the hermaphrodite ^^^^^^^^^ who lives in a shed behind a WalMart.

And still don't need to be a cuckold...

 

[martybegan]

 

[TNHarley]

Sorry Tom, but a woman knows when you do something to expect something..lol ..it needs to come from your heart.


.

sorry but...... Have you ever met a woman? lol

 

[Mikeoxenormous]

Sorry Tom, but a woman knows when you do something to expect something..lol ..it needs to come from your heart.


.

sorry but...... Have you ever met a woman? lol

Faggots think alike so don't have the issue of trying to work with the opposite sex.

 

[Moonglow]

Eaglewings is a chick you ghey dudes....

 

[TNHarley]

Eaglewings is a chick you ghey dudes....

A hot one too. Or at least the one pic i saw
Giggity

 

[Eaglewings]

Sorry Tom, but a woman knows when you do something to expect something..lol ..it needs to come from your heart.


.

sorry but...... Have you ever met a woman? lol

WHAT!

I am a woman who has been married for 30 years.. It is important in a relationship to do things without expectations..

.

 

[Eaglewings]

Eaglewings is a chick you ghey dudes....

A hot one too. Or at least the one pic i saw
Giggity

Ah thanks...

 

[Mikeoxenormous]

Sorry Tom, but a woman knows when you do something to expect something..lol ..it needs to come from your heart.


.

sorry but...... Have you ever met a woman? lol

WHAT!

I am a woman who has been married for 30 years.. It is important in a relationship to do things without expectations..

.

Does that work both ways?

 

[Mikeoxenormous]

Eaglewings is a chick you ghey dudes....

A hot one too. Or at least the one pic i saw
Giggity

Ah thanks...

I think he was talking about the 1st lady....

 

[TNHarley]

Eaglewings is a chick you ghey dudes....

A hot one too. Or at least the one pic i saw
Giggity

Ah thanks...

I think he was talking about the 1st lady....

ohhhh no

 

[Mikeoxenormous]

Eaglewings is a chick you ghey dudes....

A hot one too. Or at least the one pic i saw
Giggity

Ah thanks...

I think he was talking about the 1st lady....

ohhhh no

Why, you don't think Mrs. Trump is a hot lady?

 

[Indeependent]

Sorry Tom, but a woman knows when you do something to expect something..lol ..it needs to come from your heart.


.

sorry but...... Have you ever met a woman? lol

WHAT!

I am a woman who has been married for 30 years.. It is important in a relationship to do things without expectations..

.

It is important.
It’s almost always unrealistic.

 

[TNHarley]

Eaglewings is a chick you ghey dudes....

A hot one too. Or at least the one pic i saw
Giggity

Ah thanks...

I think he was talking about the 1st lady....

ohhhh no

Why, you don't think Mrs. Trump is a hot lady?

yes sir!
In that instance, i was referring to american eagle