Switzerland (and some others) could be good examples of how it may work well. The Balkans are another example (IMHO) of how this is fraught with danger. I don't see how one comparison is any more compelling than the other.
I see both examples as distinct possibilities.
But no matter how much we debate the possibilities in the abstract, it doesn't change the reality. If a state or a region of the U.S. wants independence, they are going to have to fight for it. And in that fight they are going to have to go "all in" and risk it all. That's just the reality.
And the parent governing body will not be held under any obligation to help.
A previous poster hit upon a key element (imho) in that I just don't believe that there are very many people who believe that they have it so bad in the United States of America in 2013 that they will risk everything to bring about the changes they would like to see. Differences aside, we do live in a society that is probably the best mix of power, prosperity, and tolerance that this planet has ever seen. And I also believe that our system includes an adaptability to the will of the people that make insurrection unecessary.
Switzerland is a better example than the Balkans because the states are politically and economically more similar to Switzerland than they are the Balkans.
The portion I bolded is exactly the question, however. Why? Why does it have to be that way? Even if they go off and turn into the Balkans, why should that affect you? If California decided to secede today I can't imagine how that would possibly affect me in any way, and I certainly wouldn't be willing to kill them to force them to stay. I'm just trying to understand the mindset that essentially says, as far as I can tell, we have to kill you for your own good.
I simply think insurrection is a dumb idea. I've yet to see a revolution that ever made things better.