The irony is, you're so afraid, that you can't even articulate the reason why you didn't want to be vaccinated. That's what you call fear, when you don't even know the reason why you're so against something. Conversely people who want to protect themselves from going to the hospital, and maybe even dying are just being pragmatic about their health. Is that being afraid, or being smart? They're not afraid of the doctor and shots more than they are of getting some weird, debilitating and possibly life threatening disease even if that probability is low. Keep up the act you got going, maybe some day you'll actually convince yourself you're the brave one here