- Sep 22, 2013
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Here's a fun quarantine-tribulation era heist-vignette to remind us why we Americans tend to celebrate pirates such as Bonnie and Clyde during national calamities such as the Great Depression! This short-story was inspired by the film Air America and is meant to remind us why America is such a land of dioramic folk-tales (and daily omens!). Thanks,
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Isaac planned a 3-person heist of some $10 million bonds from the Federal Reserve Bank in D.C. in the summer of 2021. Isaac wanted to find the right team-mates for the summer heist. He was thinking about all the risks and rewards of the heist. He felt like a nerd. He was a nerd.
Isaac had been a thief for many years, despite ironically also being an Ivy League graduate. He was a student of human psychology. He loved computer hacking. Mostly, he loved robbing banks and robbed over 20 banks in just 3 years, sometimes alone, sometimes with team-mates. Now, Isaac considered who'd be paired along with the likes of him for this D.C. bond heist. Isaac himself was already a master-thief.
Washington is such an idyllic capital city. It's such a haven for traffic and citizens. It's considered a beacon of US history and culture. Its Federal Reserve Bank is therefore a bastion of modern securities. Isaac was an admirer of D.C. and always would be a true admirer.
PETER: Isaac's first recruit; this lifelong European pickpocket helped Isaac on two bank jobs including one in Los Angeles.
STEVEN: This Dutch-American helped Isaac on a Florida bank job and was excited about this Washington bond heist.
ISAAC: "The Federal Reserve Bank in Washington is no joke, my buddies; this is a bank and institution that commands respect, so we have to treat this job like one that would reflect the complete profile of our thievery skills, because we must not flounder!"
The three masked young thieves called themselves the Washington Willies (WW). The three young thieves, in masks, ran into the Federal Reserve Bank in D.C. on a Saturday morning carrying colored toy machine-guns. When they saw the guards at the front entrance right inside the building, the first thing they did was, they turned to the guards, and yelled, "This is a fake robbery!" The guards were shocked and laughed and wondered what the hell was going on, when Isaac, the leader of WW, pulled out a smartphone video-recorder application and claimed he was making a fake-robbery video for CNN and asked one of the guards to escort the three masked young men to the vault-room containing rows and shelves of thick and valuable bonds, for a special CNN documentary about US bond discussions. The guards laughed but were intrigued and complied after inspecting the men's guns and verifying they were just toy guns. The vault-room with the US bonds was quite a thing to behold.
When the three masked young thieves were inside the bond room with the escorting guards inside the Federal Reserve Bank in D.C.(!), Isaac shockingly revealed that he was holding a hostage and showed the guards the photo of the tied up hostage, a female bank worker in D.C. Apparently, a fourth man in the WW thief-team was holding and waiting with the female hostage until his accomplices exited the Federal Reserve Bank safely with the bonds they truly did intend to steal that day. The guards were infuriated but were completely helpless. Isaac and his WW trio sneaked out the bathroom window of the Federal Reserve building after placing about $10 million worth of US bonds into their concealed fold-out duffel-bags and hopped onto an East Coast marina boat and disappeared amidst a sea of sailing boats that day.
The photo of the hostage was actually just the girlfriend of a 4th friend Isaac's WW trio recruited for this orchestrated dancing heist of the $10 million US bonds. They used the money to retire together to the Virgin Islands and opened a tourism-friendly island pub called the Pelican Brief. Isaac, Peter, and Steven went down in history as this now-infamous D.C. Coast Bond Theft was considered a true post-Coronavirus quarantine theater, a presentation of capital...gone diagonal!
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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
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Isaac planned a 3-person heist of some $10 million bonds from the Federal Reserve Bank in D.C. in the summer of 2021. Isaac wanted to find the right team-mates for the summer heist. He was thinking about all the risks and rewards of the heist. He felt like a nerd. He was a nerd.
Isaac had been a thief for many years, despite ironically also being an Ivy League graduate. He was a student of human psychology. He loved computer hacking. Mostly, he loved robbing banks and robbed over 20 banks in just 3 years, sometimes alone, sometimes with team-mates. Now, Isaac considered who'd be paired along with the likes of him for this D.C. bond heist. Isaac himself was already a master-thief.
Washington is such an idyllic capital city. It's such a haven for traffic and citizens. It's considered a beacon of US history and culture. Its Federal Reserve Bank is therefore a bastion of modern securities. Isaac was an admirer of D.C. and always would be a true admirer.
PETER: Isaac's first recruit; this lifelong European pickpocket helped Isaac on two bank jobs including one in Los Angeles.
STEVEN: This Dutch-American helped Isaac on a Florida bank job and was excited about this Washington bond heist.
ISAAC: "The Federal Reserve Bank in Washington is no joke, my buddies; this is a bank and institution that commands respect, so we have to treat this job like one that would reflect the complete profile of our thievery skills, because we must not flounder!"
The three masked young thieves called themselves the Washington Willies (WW). The three young thieves, in masks, ran into the Federal Reserve Bank in D.C. on a Saturday morning carrying colored toy machine-guns. When they saw the guards at the front entrance right inside the building, the first thing they did was, they turned to the guards, and yelled, "This is a fake robbery!" The guards were shocked and laughed and wondered what the hell was going on, when Isaac, the leader of WW, pulled out a smartphone video-recorder application and claimed he was making a fake-robbery video for CNN and asked one of the guards to escort the three masked young men to the vault-room containing rows and shelves of thick and valuable bonds, for a special CNN documentary about US bond discussions. The guards laughed but were intrigued and complied after inspecting the men's guns and verifying they were just toy guns. The vault-room with the US bonds was quite a thing to behold.
When the three masked young thieves were inside the bond room with the escorting guards inside the Federal Reserve Bank in D.C.(!), Isaac shockingly revealed that he was holding a hostage and showed the guards the photo of the tied up hostage, a female bank worker in D.C. Apparently, a fourth man in the WW thief-team was holding and waiting with the female hostage until his accomplices exited the Federal Reserve Bank safely with the bonds they truly did intend to steal that day. The guards were infuriated but were completely helpless. Isaac and his WW trio sneaked out the bathroom window of the Federal Reserve building after placing about $10 million worth of US bonds into their concealed fold-out duffel-bags and hopped onto an East Coast marina boat and disappeared amidst a sea of sailing boats that day.
The photo of the hostage was actually just the girlfriend of a 4th friend Isaac's WW trio recruited for this orchestrated dancing heist of the $10 million US bonds. They used the money to retire together to the Virgin Islands and opened a tourism-friendly island pub called the Pelican Brief. Isaac, Peter, and Steven went down in history as this now-infamous D.C. Coast Bond Theft was considered a true post-Coronavirus quarantine theater, a presentation of capital...gone diagonal!
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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
