The Americans With No Abilities Act

Iceweasel

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WASHINGTON, DC (AP) -
Obama signed into law sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into a major victory by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any
real skills or ambition.

President Obama at the press conference claimed "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence or drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society.

We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and
passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant
special favors to a small group of workers simply because they do a better job or have some idea of what they are doing."

President Obama pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has
a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to
performance. Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job skills,
making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.

Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against
the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%),and home
improvement "warehouse" stores (65%)

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle
man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little
real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and
performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to
guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The
legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain
a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions, and gives a
tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless
worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult
to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview
questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have
any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you awake?"

"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have
something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a
lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable
job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the
passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can
finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
 

Derideo_Te

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Looks like you just got suckered with an old joke from the Clinton era that originated with the Onion.

Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act The Onion - America s Finest News Source

Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act
NEWSPoliticsCongressISSUE 33•24Jun 24, 1998
WASHINGTON, DC—On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans.

The act, signed into law by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack any real skills or uses.

 
OP
Iceweasel

Iceweasel

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Looks like you just got suckered with an old joke from the Clinton era that originated with the Onion.

Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act The Onion - America s Finest News Source

Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act
NEWSPoliticsCongressISSUE 33•24Jun 24, 1998
WASHINGTON, DC—On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans.

The act, signed into law by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack any real skills or uses.

Wow really? I wonder if that's why I posted it in the humor section?​
 

Derideo_Te

Je Suis Charlie
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Looks like you just got suckered with an old joke from the Clinton era that originated with the Onion.

Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act The Onion - America s Finest News Source

Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act
NEWSPoliticsCongressISSUE 33•24Jun 24, 1998
WASHINGTON, DC—On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans.

The act, signed into law by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack any real skills or uses.

Wow really? I wonder if that's why I posted it in the humor section?​
I didn't say that you didn't understand that it was humor. I just said that you got suckered in by an old joke that has been around for a decade and a half now.
 
OP
Iceweasel

Iceweasel

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Looks like you just got suckered with an old joke from the Clinton era that originated with the Onion.

Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act The Onion - America s Finest News Source

Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act
NEWSPoliticsCongressISSUE 33•24Jun 24, 1998
WASHINGTON, DC—On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans.

The act, signed into law by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack any real skills or uses.

Wow really? I wonder if that's why I posted it in the humor section?​
I didn't say that you didn't understand that it was humor. I just said that you got suckered in by an old joke that has been around for a decade and a half now.
You have the perfect avatar, Bozo. I have had that joke for 10 years and updated it with obama's name just before I posted it. Some jokes have been around even longer! True story.

LOL
 

Derideo_Te

Je Suis Charlie
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Looks like you just got suckered with an old joke from the Clinton era that originated with the Onion.

Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act The Onion - America s Finest News Source

Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act
NEWSPoliticsCongressISSUE 33•24Jun 24, 1998
WASHINGTON, DC—On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans.

The act, signed into law by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack any real skills or uses.

Wow really? I wonder if that's why I posted it in the humor section?​
I didn't say that you didn't understand that it was humor. I just said that you got suckered in by an old joke that has been around for a decade and a half now.
You have the perfect avatar, Bozo. I have had that joke for 10 years and updated it with obama's name just before I posted it. Some jokes have been around even longer! True story.

LOL
Whatever!
 

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