She has seen death many-many times, but this is different. These are not sick people. They are you and me...they are fine...then not fine. She is used to making people better, or at least alleviating their suffering. But with CV-19, they just get worse and worse and then die. And for no apparent reason, why does one person get better - and another dies...even though the one that got better might be older with some health issues... but the person who dies was 20 years younger and no apparent health issues they can detect.
I myself am having trouble sleeping, she calls around 8pm. And it leaves my head spinning. In my minds eye she is still that little kid. She is in REAL danger and I can't do anything.
I don't just say this theoretically. Our son, 23, got pneumonia last May, went septic, and was in the ICU at one time on 5 different antibiotics. He was hospitalized for a week. For about a day there it was touch and go, even with his heart.
In the modern era we take for granted that drs and medical personnel can, and very likely WILL, fix anything. But just a short century ago this was far from a given. You felt grateful if all your babies made it to adulthood. I don't say this by means of diminishing the pain of anyone's family suffering a loss. EVERY loss is a family tragedy. But I think people used to be a lot more familiar with it, anyway, if not reconciled to it.
So here we are, getting familiar with it again. It sucks. But this is the course of human history.