Suicide

[Caroljo]

My brother in law had been on anti-depressants for quite a while. To know him he seemed to be so together, happy go luckly...i loved that guy! On Christmas day in 1992 my husband had to fly out to Albuquerque because his brother had sat in his car and shot himself in the head. My husband was sure he was going to have to decide if they should keep him on support. When he got there his brother was doing good....he ended up living, but because of where he shot himself he ended up being blind. The VA helped him, and when he recovered he was like the same guy. We would talk to him on the phone and you would have no idea he'd ever had a problem. He was on some medications....he seemed to be doing great, then just died in 1997.

 

[JOSweetHeart]

Okay, let me tell you a story.

When I was at school, I was the victim of severe physical, and emotional bullying. I went from an A grade student to an F grade student overnight. I was kicked, punched, spat at, called names, everything you can think of. The teachers were aware of the abuse, yet they did nothing at all to prevent it. I couldn't stop it, I had to sit there and take it. I would sit in class and listen to the insults, I would go to my locker at the end of class and be kicked, and kids would randomly slap me as they walked by.

This went on for three years, and nothing had been done in that time. I hated attending school, because I knew that as soon as I got off that bus, I would be beaten and humiliated again.

That drove me to suicide. I tried to end my life twice, but thankfully, I was saved both times. Eventually, the school admitted there was a problem, but instead of expelling the bullies, or even giving them a detention, they told my parents that I should leave school instead. So I left school at the age of 16, halfway through the school year.

I was fine until I was bullied. Being bullied made me depressed. My depression was being treated, but when you endure being bullied 5 days a week, 6 hours a day, medication doesn't do much for you. I blame the bullies for my suicidal thoughts.

Do I blame them for the fact I tried to take my own life? No - as that was my choice. But I had the strength to dig myself out of that dark place, not everyone is so lucky.

Its very easy for someone to say that we should ignore it, walk away, toughen up, etc, but it doesn't work that way.

Wow, I was put through the ringer when I was in school too, but my experience never got anywhere near as physical as yours did.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

P.S. I was given a hard time because of how white my skin is. I was called every name that you can think of because of that.

 

[Caroljo]

I was never bullied....but i was picked on some just because i'm short. I'm 5' 1"....sometimes 5' depending on how i'm measured! Lol! I got so it really didn't bother me, ilaughed it off. Now, i just turned 59 and at work some call me "shorty", "small stuff"...etc...and occasionally asked if i need a ladder for something....Lol! Sometimes you just have to mae the best of things and laugh it off...but sometimes I know it's impossible to laugh off. That's pretty sad......................

 

[Noomi]

Suicide is NOT about weakness. How could you not know that.

It's about not seeing any way out. It's a permanent solution to what might or might not be a temporary problem. In the history of mankind, nobody has killed themself because daddy didn't buy them a beamer. It's possible one or two did because daddy was banging them, and they didn't see any way to make it stop.

Words don't kill people. They just make them wish they were dead.

It is about weakness..... They cant see any other way out because they're weak and don't want to deal with the consequences of their actions.

I get where you are coming from, and I kind of agree, but the act of committing suicide, to actually end your life, takes a huge amount of courage and guts.

 

[JOSweetHeart]

It is about weakness..... They cant see any other way out because they're weak and don't want to deal with the consequences of their actions.

What you say here reminds me about how the movie named Snake Eyes ended. When the guy at the end knows that he is going down for his part in what happens earlier in the film, he went ahead and shot himself so that he wouldn't have to go to jail.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

 

[Mr.Nick]

Okay, let me tell you a story.

When I was at school, I was the victim of severe physical, and emotional bullying. I went from an A grade student to an F grade student overnight. I was kicked, punched, spat at, called names, everything you can think of. The teachers were aware of the abuse, yet they did nothing at all to prevent it. I couldn't stop it, I had to sit there and take it. I would sit in class and listen to the insults, I would go to my locker at the end of class and be kicked, and kids would randomly slap me as they walked by.

This went on for three years, and nothing had been done in that time. I hated attending school, because I knew that as soon as I got off that bus, I would be beaten and humiliated again.

That drove me to suicide. I tried to end my life twice, but thankfully, I was saved both times. Eventually, the school admitted there was a problem, but instead of expelling the bullies, or even giving them a detention, they told my parents that I should leave school instead. So I left school at the age of 16, halfway through the school year.

I was fine until I was bullied. Being bullied made me depressed. My depression was being treated, but when you endure being bullied 5 days a week, 6 hours a day, medication doesn't do much for you. I blame the bullies for my suicidal thoughts.

Do I blame them for the fact I tried to take my own life? No - as that was my choice. But I had the strength to dig myself out of that dark place, not everyone is so lucky.

Its very easy for someone to say that we should ignore it, walk away, toughen up, etc, but it doesn't work that way.

Why didn't you fight back?

Kids would try to pick on me but I would just punch them in the face..... a couple of times I got my ass wooped by 2-3 guys but I got my licks in.... At the same time those "bullies" knew I wasn't going to tolerate that nonsense and left me alone....

Hell, when I was in high school I actually protected the bullied kids.

I remember during my first day of high school freshman year (new town, new school) I had gym first period. This kid tried to bully me because I was the new kid.... I punched him right in his ******* face and dropped like a sack of potatoes. a couple weeks later the little shit wanted an "after school rematch" - I was like fine. He brings two friends I kicked all 3 of their asses via 1 on 1 fighting.... (For some reason when people get their asses kicked they bring people with them the next time who they believe can beat your ass).

I suppose my point is - fight back... Bullies are only bullies because no one fights back against them... They like easy prey not hard prey. They won't **** with you if they know they will get punched in the head.

 

[mudwhistle]

Yes......

 

[Mr.Nick]

Suicide is NOT about weakness. How could you not know that.

It's about not seeing any way out. It's a permanent solution to what might or might not be a temporary problem. In the history of mankind, nobody has killed themself because daddy didn't buy them a beamer. It's possible one or two did because daddy was banging them, and they didn't see any way to make it stop.

Words don't kill people. They just make them wish they were dead.

It is about weakness..... They cant see any other way out because they're weak and don't want to deal with the consequences of their actions.

I get where you are coming from, and I kind of agree, but the act of committing suicide, to actually end your life, takes a huge amount of courage and guts.

It doesn't take courage and guts - if those individuals had courage and guts they would face the problem at hand - deal with the problem the best way possible and move on in life.

Suicide takes desperation and hopelessness..... There is always a solution to every problem...

 

[Pho_King]

Christ what a pussyassed thread....

If you are such a puss that you can't deal with the mean names the "bullies" call you, and feel the need to off yourself because the cool kids don't like you and are vocal about it, then maybe your problems are internal.

******* grow a pair. Or just do it already.

 

[Si modo]

I don't like Nancy Grace and don't watch her. I don't know much about this situation except that a woman who likely killed her kid (accidentally or otherwise, but her actions were responsible for her kid's death) and Nancy Grace harped on it.

OK.

1. Nancy Grace, like other TV talking heads, loves hearing herself talk and loves the idea that so many others do, too. The more the merrier.

2. Why the ever living **** did this woman listen to Nancy Grace? Were all her fingers broken and she could'nt push any buttons on her clicker?

3. Why the ever living **** did this woman CARE so much about what Nancy Grace said about her?

4. (2) and (3) are both controlled by the woman herself.

Therefore, I voted an unqualified NO in the poll. The woman made a choice to watch NG and she made a choice to CARE about what NG said.

Honestly? I think guilt got the best of the woman. And, that is likely why the woman listened and cared about what NG said. It was the affirmation the woman neurotically needed for her guilt. Just a guess, though.

In other circumstances and in general, no, I don't think a person can drive another to suicide. The seed is already in their head. I think the most that another person can do is just speed up the inevitable. In general.

Suicide is very tragic. Unfortunately, those who make that choice often are so caught up in their own stuff that they can't even consider the massive collateral damage they leave behind. But, the suicidal, if anything, are beyond selfish - and I don't mean that as an insult to these poor persons. I mean it as a fact, they are just way too wrapped up in their issues that there is no room left in their heads for the others in their lives who care deeply for them.

All very, very tragic, especially for the loved ones.

 

[Mr.Nick]

I don't like Nancy Grace and don't watch her. I don't know much about this situation except that a woman who likely killed her kid (accidentally or otherwise, but her actions were responsible for her kid's death) and Nancy Grace harped on it.

OK.

1. Nancy Grace, like other TV talking heads, loves hearing herself talk and loves the idea that so many others do, too. The more the merrier.

2. Why the ever living **** did this woman listen to Nancy Grace? Were all her fingers broken and she could'nt push any buttons on her clicker?

3. Why the ever living **** did this woman CARE so much about what Nancy Grace said about her?

4. (2) and (3) are both controlled by the woman herself.

Therefore, I voted an unqualified NO in the poll. The woman made a choice to watch NG and she made a choice to CARE about what NG said.

Honestly? I think guilt got the best of the woman. And, that is likely why the woman listened and cared about what NG said. It was the affirmation the woman neurotically needed for her guilt. Just a guess, though.

In other circumstances and in general, no, I don't think a person can drive another to suicide. The seed is already in their head. I think the most that another person can do is just speed up the inevitable. In general.

Suicide is very tragic. Unfortunately, those who make that choice often are so caught up in their own stuff that they can't even consider the massive collateral damage they leave behind. But, the suicidal, if anything, are beyond selfish - and I don't mean that as an insult to these poor persons. I mean it as a fact, they are just way too wrapped up in their issues that there is no room left in their heads for the others in their lives who care deeply for them.

All very, very tragic, especially for the loved ones.

You're exactly right. A poster a few posts back shared a story about her friend committing suicide. That woman had kids and she apparently killed herself over a child custody battle.

That's selfish....... Just leaving your kids because things aren't going in the right direction at the time?

Like you said "the seed has already been planted.." But still I don't see how these people cant see beyond themselves and think about the effects their actions will have on their children, family and friends.....

Sure, killing ones self may put them out of misery but at the same time it can put their loved ones into misery......

 

[Si modo]

There have been many studies of the personality traits folks who survive disasters have, as opposed to those who don't survive. For those who have ever considered suicide, or currently are considering it, these traits to surviving negative external influence can certainly be applied to surviving those 'demonic' negative internal influences:

Traits of the Survivor Include:

• Commitment to Survive
In a survival scenario, the most important survival skill is contained within your mind. You need to want to survive, no matter the situation and prospect of outcome. Survivors never give up!

• Curiosity and Inquisitiveness
The desire to learn and discover how things work will hone your skills in a wide variety of subjects. Play is nature’s way of having you learn and develop skills in preparation for the real thing when your playful experience suddenly becomes the deciding factor in whether you make it or not.

• Sense of Humor
In a survival scenario, this is often known as “Gallows humor”. Your sense of humor works as a pressure release mechanism. And if you can make light of your difficulties, you are placing yourself above them and in a good position from which to take the action you need to survive.

• Dealing with Uncertainty
Having the ability to continue on through adversity, even when there is conflicting information and uncertainty, is crucial. The survivor takes action when action is required, trusting that as events unfold, he can fine tune his approach and successfully achieve the desired outcome.

• Getting Over It
The survivor mentality does not waste any time over past mistakes or losses. No amount of preparedness is a guarantee. Looking backwards and ewelling in regrets and disappointments changes nothing and is counterproductive. The best way to survive is to do all you can for the situation you are in and plan future action toward your best advantage.

• Adaptive Capacity
Successful survivors have the ability to take charge and control the environment using their knowledge and materials at hand. They can also improvise on the spot, quickly finding new workable ways where none existed before. Whatever happens, the best survivors tackle problems and find solutions.​

Seems appropriate for this topic. HISG : Surviving a Disaster: A Survival Mentality

 

[JOSweetHeart]

Suicide is very tragic. Unfortunately, those who make that choice often are so caught up in their own stuff that they can't even consider the massive collateral damage they leave behind. But, the suicidal, if anything, are beyond selfish - and I don't mean that as an insult to these poor persons. I mean it as a fact, they are just way too wrapped up in their issues that there is no room left in their heads for the others in their lives who care deeply for them.

Amen to that because not only do people lose a family member when a person takes their life, but they lose the life insurance money too should there be any which could be money that they would need in the event of the person not being around anymore.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

 

[Dabs]

Suicide is tragic......and I'm no expert, but I can say I have tried it once years ago, and it has crossed my mind a time or two after that attempt.

But......I think of my children and my grandchildren.
Even tho none of the part of me not wanting to live has anything to do with them, I know....they would feel tremendous guilt.
And speaking from my view as a person who has attempted suicide........some people just do not, can not, realize the pain that is going on inside our head..........

 

[Noomi]

Suicide is tragic......and I'm no expert, but I can say I have tried it once years ago, and it has crossed my mind a time or two after that attempt.

But......I think of my children and my grandchildren.
Even tho none of the part of me not wanting to live has anything to do with them, I know....they would feel tremendous guilt.
And speaking from my view as a person who has attempted suicide........some people just do not, can not, realize the pain that is going on inside our head..........

You are exactly right. The people attacking those who commit suicide have no idea of what that person was thinking or feeling at the time, we we do, because we have experienced it, and managed to survive it. You can never know how dark and frightening depression is unless you have been there yourself.
I am proud to say that I fought it, and won.

 

[BDBoop]

Same.

 

[Cowman]

Depression is a nigh everyday occurrence for me. The worst part about chemically related depression is not having any logical reason to feel sad. Nothing horrible happened to me... I just feel absolutely miserable. "Cheering up" is almost impossible through normal means. Just have to let it run its course most of the time.

Most people who only feel depressed when their girlfriend dumps them or they lose their job or a family pet dies or something, will never understand.

 

[Mr.Nick]

Suicide is tragic......and I'm no expert, but I can say I have tried it once years ago, and it has crossed my mind a time or two after that attempt.

But......I think of my children and my grandchildren.
Even tho none of the part of me not wanting to live has anything to do with them, I know....they would feel tremendous guilt.
And speaking from my view as a person who has attempted suicide........some people just do not, can not, realize the pain that is going on inside our head..........

You are exactly right. The people attacking those who commit suicide have no idea of what that person was thinking or feeling at the time, we we do, because we have experienced it, and managed to survive it. You can never know how dark and frightening depression is unless you have been there yourself.
I am proud to say that I fought it, and won.

Are you kidding me? I attempted suicide twice and ended up in the loony bin twice.... Even now it crosses my mind - but you know what? I don't do it because I don't want to hurt the ones I love, not to mention I believe suicide is murder, and I'm no murderer....

I suppose you just have to keep your head up and remind yourself that people you love would be devastated if you took your own life, and that is a reason within itself not to do it...

The notion that I don't understand not wanting to live via depression is bonkers, but at the same time I'm strong-minded.... I don't live for me - I live for those who love me...

 

[JOSweetHeart]

^^^ I think that suicide is murder too.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

 

[Mr.Nick]

Depression is a nigh everyday occurrence for me. The worst part about chemically related depression is not having any logical reason to feel sad. Nothing horrible happened to me... I just feel absolutely miserable. "Cheering up" is almost impossible through normal means. Just have to let it run its course most of the time.

Most people who only feel depressed when their girlfriend dumps them or they lose their job or a family pet dies or something, will never understand.

I've been depressed for close to 20 years...

I just try to stay active and have a good time. Throw parties, talk to people, go boating, go fishing.... That type of stuff makes me feel better, I kinda forget about depression when I'm engaged in an activity....

IMO, a hobby is the best to deal with depression... When I was a kid I was happy collecting vintage sports cards and fishing... I'm starting to do both again and I'm feeling much better....