The Trump supporters have created a derogatory term to use n those who oppose Donald Trump. Many of them really believe it is some kind of real mental illness. But the truth is a wee bit different.
So, You Have Trump Derangement Syndrome. Well, We Have the Cure.
If you believe in facts, education and critical thinking skills, here’s a prescription for what ails you.
President Donald Trump—our fierce warrior of a leader, who has made it clear that no enemy, fake news comprised of unimpeachable facts and data or the East Wing of the White House shall stand against him—decided to be brave and weigh in on the Reiners’ deaths by offering condolences, kind words and a free diagnosis.
“A very sad thing happened last night in Hollywood. Rob Reiner, a tortured and struggling, but once very talented movie director and comedy star, has passed away, together with his wife, Michele, reportedly due to the anger he caused others through his massive, unyielding, and incurable affliction with a mind crippling disease known as TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME, sometimes referred to as TDS,” Trump wrote.
Later on, a reporter—showing signs of early-stage TDS herself—asked the president to clarify his comments, prompting him to double down.
We can all clearly see what the problem is here, right?
RIGHT???
I mean, how is it that these people are allowed to make movies or become journalists? I’m sure they’re also putting lives in danger every day by flying planes while Black and administering vaccines like they don’t cause Tylenol-induced autism. All the while, these people are suffering from a mentally debilitating disease like TDS, of which there appears to be no cure.
Oh, but there is a cure—and that’s why I’m here.
Now, of course, I need to preface this by saying I am not a medical doctor. I would also like to preface this by saying that if you believe I need to be a medical doctor just to diagnose and prescribe remedies for TDS, you not only have TDS, you have
RFKDS. You probably think the U.S. health secretary needs to be a person with a Ph.D. in medicine or at least someone who knows the difference between Medicaid and Medicare, doesn’t think Lyme disease is a “militarily engineered bioweapon,” or that Black people don’t need white people’s vaccine schedule due to their super negro immune systems. You want someone who doesn’t take his grandkids swimming in sewage and doesn’t literally advise people not to take medical advice from him.
You probably think an appointed FBI director should have actually worked at the FBI or that appointed U.S. attorneys should be Senate-confirmed or have actually worked as prosecutors. Hell, you probably think the nation’s top education authority should have worked as an educator as opposed to a pro-wrestling executive.
What you clearly don’t understand is that reliance on expertise and education is a classic symptom of TDS and can be easily remedied. You simply don’t have to live this way.
Anyway, here are a few easy steps to cleansing your home of TDS for good.
First, I want you to go through all of your cabinets, window seals, bookshelves—and God help you if there are still books there—and computer files, and do a deep clean of your home, cleansing all areas of infectious signs of critical thought. We have seen numerous scientific studies that show a direct causal link between critical thinking skills and TDS. If you’re currently asking for links to those studies, it might indicate that you find value in peer review, which is a classic sign of TDS and the “woke mind virus” that causes it.
Next, TDS patients must take a daily dose of
whataboutism. Now, when it comes to whataboutism, you don’t want to go with the generic brand; you want the extra-strength kind, which includes more concentrated levels of laziness and intellectual dishonesty. False equivalence is key. Remember, it’s only a double standard if there was no set standard to begin with.
For example, what about Charlie Kirk?
It was only a few short months ago that a white man was accused of shooting and killing Kirk, and the TDS-afflicted wasted no time in using Kirk’s own words to prove he was an unrepentant racist and a mediocre college dropout, who claimed some of the most accomplished Black women in America—journalist Joy Reid, former first lady Michelle Obama, Rep.Sheila Jackson Lee, and Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson—were “affirmative action picks” who lacked “the brain processing power to otherwise be taken really seriously.”
Yet those with TDS have a problem with what Trump said about Reiner.
Now, you have to understand that the TDS virus will be working hard to outwork the whataboutism antibodies, which is why the afflicted will likely note that Reiner wasn’t a controversial figure who made racial resentment his entire personality and sent the message to young women that they needed to make
The Handmaid’s Tale more than just a TV drama again by ditching career prospects and becoming brood mares for tiny humans instead. They’ll note that the most polarizing thing about Reiner was that he was one of countless celebrities and millions of people—probably billions globally—who did not like Trump just because he’s demonstrably unlikable.
The afflicted also might note that Trump is the president of the United States, not a random celebrity or person on social media. They’ll start tossing around partisan buzzwords like “inappropriate,” “disrespectful” or “completely lacking in presidential decorum.” They’ll note that most elected officials would have joined the rest of those who are restricted by human decency in not dancing on a non-controversial man’s grave before the ink is even dry on the headlines regarding his and his wife’s violent killings.
But see that’s the main problem TDS patients have right there:
Decency.
If you believe in facts, education and critical thinking skills, here’s a prescription for what ails you.
www.contrabandcamp.com
