Snakes as a Sustainable Food Source

[Muhammed]

Some are suggesting that we farm pythons for food. These people things have invaded south Florida and continue to grow in size and range. I will disclose that I hate snakes, all snakes. I cannot legally fire a gun in my yard because I live within the city limits. To get around this I keep a pellet gun at my back door. I shot and killed two of those little bastards last summer.

I note that the same people who want us to eat bugs now want us to eat snakes. Clearly, it would be dehumanizing for us to replace the foods we love with this vermin. Is that what’s going on here? Dehumanizing us? It has been known to happen.

Moreover, what is with this constant use of the word “sustainability”? It has become a buzz word to trigger younger people to turn off their brains and mindlessly fall in line. It’s like the plot of Charles Bronson’s movie, “Telefon”, in which the Soviets made Americans into unwitting agents who, when “triggered” by lines from a Robert Frost poem over the telephone, would commit terrorist acts against America. They were sleeper agents.

The only difference between the agents in “Telefon” and todays youth looking for “sustainability” is that while the former turned into killers when they heard the trigger words, todays kids turn into total douche canoes when the hear the word “sustainability”.

But the thing is... snakes taste like crap. So how are you going to sell that?

Maybe come up with a catchy phrase?

SNAKE! ITS BETTER THAN STEAK

 

[The Duke]

Snake is greasier

Where's the fat layer, numbnuts? I've killed (and skinned) more than few snakes. There was no fat layer, shitbird.

Where does the grease come from? Oh! I Know where! Uranus!

Not as greasy as raccoon is.

I have a theory they'd taste like bear. You ever had bear?

I can't kill the minibears.

 

[Muhammed]

Snake! It's better than steak!

Bugs! They're better than drugs!

Hares! More delicious than bears!

Wussies! Sew like Moonglow!

 

[sparky]

~S~

 

[Crepitus]

Forgive me if this is a dumb question, but aren't python snakes one of the poisonous kinds?

God bless you always!!!

Holly

No, they are constrictors.

 

[Crepitus]

Snake! It's better than steak!

Bugs! They're better than drugs!

Hares! More delicious than bears!

Wussies! Sew like Moonglow!

I've had some pretty bad steaks occasionally

And some pretty decent bugs. (except for those shell bit that get stuck like the popcorn bits in your teeth)

Rabbit-hare is delicious when prepared properly

Not sure what the rest of that means.

 

[Crepitus]

Where's the fat layer, numbnuts? I've killed (and skinned) more than few snakes. There was no fat layer, shitbird.

Where does the grease come from? Oh! I Know where! Uranus!

I have a theory they'd taste like bear. You ever had bear?

I can't kill the minibears.

At a guess it's intrinsic to the meat rather than separated out in a fat layer.

And as previously mentioned the only bear I've had is jerked.

 

[evenflow1969]

Just how does one farm snakes?

It would be difficult. Feeding them is expensive. Lots of mice, rats and bunnies. Not cheap. Snakes are good pest control but to let them roam free means you have to find and kill to harvest. Also not easy. When I was 11 thru 14 I did a great deal of rattle snake hunting. 10 to 14 hours a day on weekends. To find three was a good weekend.

 

[Muhammed]

Just how does one farm snakes?

Just build a house in Florida.

Or dock your boat on lake Erie. Those snakes will slither up the dock lines at night and they cannot leave until the sun rises. They are cold-blooded. They are not very mobile in the morning until they bask in the sunlight for a while.

 

[Lord Long Rod]

Florida has a growing infestation of non native species and could probably use the help in thinning the "herd". But your right, when it comes to farming them, what the hell would you feed the big anacondas? snake chow? stray cats?

Feed the illegals to them!

 

[Muhammed]

Feed the illegals to them!

Or train the snakes to carry the illegals back home and overthrow the corrupt assholes.

Just throwing an idea out there. Sometimes you've got to think outside of the box to solve a problem, IMO.

 

[Muhammed]

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~S~

When working as a physical trainer and nutritionist sometime I would have clients who were vegan because they did not want to kill animals.

They were morally against killing and eating animals for food. So as a nutritionist it was very challenging to figure out a way for the client to get proper nutrition without violating their morals.

One guy would never eat meat until I jokingly suggested that he could eat roadkill.