Sex & Marriage

Joz

Senior Member
Mar 9, 2004
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I've changed this whole post from what it started out as.

82 years later, R.I. couple still holding hands
Union is world's longest-running

NORTH PROVIDENCE -- It began with a passing glance, then a second look.
"'She had on a white blouse, a blue skirt -- and legs. Wow! And legs," John Rocchio recalled of the first time he saw Emilia Antonelli in Providence in 1922. ''So I says to myself, 'I need to meet that broad.' "

And so he did. They fell in love and married. And they remain so today, 82 years later.....John, who is 101, and Emilia, who is 100, the longest-married couple in the world.
...The Rocchios offer no universal recipe for a long marriage, but they are not coy about what's made their own work.

''Making love," Emilia pronounced
with gusto yesterday as she patted her husband's arm.

The two say they have rarely fought in their eight-plus decades together, save for disagreements over automobiles.

Their younger daughter, who is 78 and never married, lives with them.

''We're still holding hands," Emilia said.
The Rocchios were just 17 and 19 when they crossed paths outside John's uncle's laundry......

They went on their first date that night, and a few months later, on Feb. 10, 1923, they wed at St. Ann's in Providence....

But their children and grandchildren say it was Emilia who often called the shots in the marriage.''She made the big decisions," said daughter Ella Sarra, who is 81 and lives in Cranston.

They say there was one rocky period in their marriage. Back in the early days, John took a job at a printing press in New York. It was a prestigious post, and he wanted to give it a whirl. She stayed in Rhode Island and worried that he would leave her.
The arrangement lasted a week.
''I had to come home," John said. ''I missed her."

http://www.boston.comnews/local/rho...82_years_later_ri_couple_still_holding_hands/
 
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Tho' some of you have argued this point with me in the past, I STILL stand firm that this is the glue in a marital relationship. You need love, friendship, understanding, trust, patience, communication, but true intimacy is what sets marriage apart from all other relationships. And tho' intimacy can be achieved different ways, making love is the one the one that truly touches the soul.
 
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Joz said:
Tho' some of you have argued this point with me in the past, I STILL stand firm that this is the glue in a marital relationship. You need love, friendship, understanding, trust, patience, communication, but true intimacy is what sets marriage apart from all other relationships. And tho' intimacy can be achieved different ways, making love is the one the one that truly touches the soul.
Absolutely. You have to have sex. Pretty often, too.
 
mom4 said:
Absolutely. You have to have sex. Pretty often, too.

And if you don't have sex, you need to find other ways to share/create intimacy.

:)

Course...what do I know..my marriage isn't the model anyone should follow...lol :)
 
dmp said:
And if you don't have sex, you need to find other ways to share/create intimacy.

:)

Course...what do I know..my marriage isn't the model anyone should follow...lol :)
Definitely need both. But I have to agree with Joz that there is something special about sex. It was designed by God to be the symbol of the marriage, the act that actually defines marriage. If you are mad at each other, going your separate ways each day, too busy for each other... Doing/saying nice things for/to each other can certainly help. But one good round of sex bonds you together on a whole different level.
 
mom4 said:
Definitely need both. But I have to agree with Joz that there is something special about sex. It was designed by God to be the symbol of the marriage, the act that actually defines marriage. If you are mad at each other, going your separate ways each day, too busy for each other... Doing/saying nice things for/to each other can certainly help. But one good round of sex bonds you together on a whole different level.


I hear it so often from friends and family - "Dude, all that sex and romance stuff fades. You're living in a fantasy world; you're NOT very realistic."

I simply don't buy it. Fades is a strange word. Fade could be a little or a lot. Fade is what a couple makes of it. I contend, especially early in a marriage, LOTS of sex AND intimacy is vital. Luckily in most marriage, that's how it works - the couple humps like bunnies the first year or so. But through that excitement and time of exploration a couple can build a bond - a foundation - which can help them weather many storms later in the relationship.

Want to have a solid marriage? Make love..make Intimacy, and make it often. :)
 
dmp said:
I hear it so often from friends and family - "Dude, all that sex and romance stuff fades. You're living in a fantasy world; you're NOT very realistic."

I simply don't buy it. Fades is a strange word. Fade could be a little or a lot. Fade is what a couple makes of it. I contend, especially early in a marriage, LOTS of sex AND intimacy is vital. Luckily in most marriage, that's how it works - the couple humps like bunnies the first year or so. But through that excitement and time of exploration a couple can build a bond - a foundation - which can help them weather many storms later in the relationship.

Want to have a solid marriage? Make love..make Intimacy, and make it often. :)
:thup:
 
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D, you may disagree, but this is my take on it:

In a strong marriage, intimacy grows deeper with time. That feeling that you two are closer to each other than anyone else. That you know each other on a very deep level. You share a bond that no one can break.

Many things can contribute to intimacy, and I cannot say what works for everyone, but I believe sex is a very big part of it. Sharing the big events and problems of life is another. Pillow talk is big for me. Soft, loving massages after sex. :smoke:

It guess it depends on what you mean by romance, but I do not think that what is traditionally seen as romance (flowers, dinner dates, etc.,) is key to maintaining a strong marriage. But intimacy is. Traditional romance and intimacy can overlap, but they are not one and the same, and you must have the latter.
 
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mom4 said:
Sex is good... how could anyone disagree?


They would argue "bah - that's a fantasy world...you kids don't understand. Love is changing diapers and going out and being friends..." they'll come up with MANY reasons why it's easier for them to face their lives thinking their intimacy difficiencies are 'normal', and we who strive for a better, fuller relationship are 'fringe' and 'never satisfied' and junk.

They may be incapable of undrestanding that satisified does not give one an excuse to be complacent.

:)

Perhaps.
 
Abbey Normal said:
In a strong marriage, intimacy grows deeper with time. That feeling that you two are closer to each other than anyone else. That you know each other on a very deep level. You share a bond that no one can break.

.

This is so awesome abbey. I hope I can experience this some day. In my first marriage, when the sex stopped, I just figured that's how it was, like d was saying, little did I know It was the beginning of the end.
 
Abbey Normal said:
D, you may disagree, but this is my take on it:

In a strong marriage, intimacy grows deeper with time. That feeling that you two are closer to each other than anyone else. That you know each other on a very deep level. You share a bond that no one can break.

Many things can contribute to intimacy, and I cannot say what works for everyone, but I believe sex is a very big part of it. Sharing the big events and problems of life is another. Pillow talk is big for me. Soft, loving massages after sex. :smoke:

It guess it depends on what you mean by romance, but I do not think that what is traditionally seen as romance (flowers, dinner dates, etc.,) is key to maintaining a strong marriage. But intimacy is. Traditional romance and intimacy can overlap, but they are not one and the same, and you must have the latter.

How could I disagree with that?

That's exactly how I feel.

peasandcarrotlg.jpg
 
Abbey Normal said:
It guess it depends on what you mean by romance, but I do not think that what is traditionally seen as romance (flowers, dinner dates, etc.,) is key to maintaining a strong marriage. But intimacy is. Traditional romance and intimacy can overlap, but they are not one and the same, and you must have the latter.
:thup:
 
rtwngAvngr said:
This is so awesome abbey. I hope I can experience this some day. In my first marriage, when the sex stopped, I just figured that's how it was, like d was saying, little did I know It was the beginning of the end.


Brother I'm telling ya - it's a MAJOR problem in our society; one which seems to be furthered by 'well meaning' people.

When people meet that 'somebody'...I honestly believe they simply can't help but crave that person's body next to theirs. Sure it builds and wane and fluctuates - but in the end, even after years and years of marriage, when one spouse enters a room, they look for their mate first.
 
Abbey said:
In a strong marriage, intimacy grows deeper with time. That feeling that you two are closer to each other than anyone else. That you know each other on a very deep level. You share a bond that no one can break.
Many things can contribute to intimacy......
This is what is to replace that initial excitement. As the newness of sex wanes and you settle into a life together you find many others ways to be intimate, on different levels. But as Mom stated, sex was GOD DESIGNED.

rtwngAvngr said:
...... little did I know It was the beginning of the end.
How much you want to bet that before this started, she stopped telling you the little things that were going on in her life. Men don't seem to catch this soon enough. And should the woman be on the quiet side......... ( Yes, it's possible)


A couple people here have told me of the long marriages in their family.
My paternal grandparents reached 51-52 years. And my parents weathered a sometimes, very difficult, marriage until my father's death.

So now my next question.

So, were they happy, truly happy? Or did they just stay together because that's what was done; had more stamina, a stronger fortitude? Have we become soft?

And I quote, "Love is permament" & "Love never dies".

So, does that mean, that those of us who have had the misfortune of experiencing divorce have NEVER truly loved???
 

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