Relationship Roles

[The ClayTaurus]

The male bashing thread left me wondering what people here thought about relationship roles. What do people think and why?

 

[Said1]

The male bashing thread left me wondering what people here thought about relationship roles. What do people think and why?

You start, what do you think?

 

[rtwngAvngr]

You start, what do you think?

Critical Theory means never giving your own ideas.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critical_theory#Critical_theory_.28social_theory.29

 

[dilloduck]

I think these roles should be discussed and agreed to prior to marriage and which ever both parties can agree to and fulfill is the best for that couple.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

You start, what do you think?

You beat me to getting the poll up...

At this point I think housework should be shared, and the woman should either raise kids as the job, or both should work and share raising the kids. I would say that having a woman work while the man raises the kids would be ok, but I think it might drive the man nuts, if not personally, then from all the stereotypes he'd have to endure all day. Admittedly, the jury hasn't completely come back on this issue for me yet.

 

[dmp]

Women working full time while kids are young has done more to dissolve marriages and hurt kids than anything I can think of.

The nuclear family of the 50s had it right...more or less.

I'm not against Mary working - in fact, when the kids are in school full time she'll likely pick up something to bring in money. Until then, there's NO financial reward worth having a daycare raise our kids.

 

[GotZoom]

This might not be so cut and dry.

I think there are a lot of factors to be considered.

Where do they live?

What is cost of living?

Is one spouse's income enough to "support" the entire family?

Do both parents work in order to provide "more" for their children?

Do they feel that "more" stuff isn't a fair trade off for time without the parents?

 

[The ClayTaurus]

Critical Theory means never giving your own ideas.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critical_theory#Critical_theory_.28social_theory.29

Does it also include throwing rocks from within a glass house?

 

[Said1]

Ooops, didn't notice it was a poll.

We went with the most successfull career, which wasn't me.

I don't know why we did that, it just made sense when the suggestion was made. We had seen other couples do it where the wife had a better career and things worked out great. I was also able to work from home, so we didn't have the financial pressures at first either, allowing me to go back to school.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Does it also include throwing rocks from within a glass house?

That's exactly what it is actually. Critical theory is criticizing everything about society, and offering no alternatives. Think democrats.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

This might not be so cut and dry.

I think there are a lot of factors to be considered.

Where do they live?

What is cost of living?

Is one spouse's income enough to "support" the entire family?

Do both parents work in order to provide "more" for their children?

Do they feel that "more" stuff isn't a fair trade off for time without the parents?

Good point. I guess, for the purposes of this particular poll, one should assume an ideal situation. That is, both shouldn't be forced to work out of economical reasons. Both are working for career aspirations, not financial stability (if that makes sense). The family could live off one income just fine.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

That's exactly what it is actually. Critical theory is criticizing everything about society, and offering no alternatives. Think democrats.

So what's your vote then?

 

[Said1]

You beat me to getting the poll up...

At this point I think housework should be shared, and the woman should either raise kids as the job, or both should work and share raising the kids. I would say that having a woman work while the man raises the kids would be ok, but I think it might drive the man nuts, if not personally, then from all the stereotypes he'd have to endure all day. Admittedly, the jury hasn't completely come back on this issue for me yet.

Staying home would provide time for a guy to persue other things that might help his career in the future. Staying at home doesn't necessarily mean aprons and dirty diapers. People can do what they will with that time, aside from raising their children.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

So what's your vote then?

I voted for whoever makes the most money. Unless I make the most money, in which case I go for whoever makes the second most amount of money, even if it's the kid.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

Staying home would provide time for a guy to persue other things that might help his career in the future. Staying at home doesn't necessarily mean aprons and dirty diapers. People can do what they will with that time, aside from raising their children.

True. Like I said, jury's still out. I know being a guy raising a kid is no easy task. It'd be nothing but weird looks like you're a child molester, people wondering if you're disabled somehow from working, and constant ribbing about your wife bringing home more money than you. It is happening more often now, however.

 

[dilloduck]

To assume all women are better at nuturing children than men is a mistake.

 

[Said1]

True. Like I said, jury's still out. I know being a guy raising a kid is no easy task. It'd be nothing but weird looks like you're a child molester, people wondering if you're disabled somehow from working, and constant ribbing about your wife bringing home more money than you. It is happening more often now, however.

I know quite a few men who stayed home, mostly to persue higher degrees though. My daughter's teacher took maternity leave last year, although now says staying home drove him nuts.

 

[dmp]

To assume all women are better at nuturing children than men is a mistake.

I don't believe anyone would say that. However, Typically, women are more nurturing. (shrug).

 

[dilloduck]

I don't believe anyone would say that. However, Typically, women are more nurturing. (shrug).

Typically, however if we are talking about the life of a child I think it's wise to not leave out what used to be pretty atypical behavior. Feminazis HAVE convinced some women that parenting is to be done at day care so as not to interfere with a womans' career or fun.

 

[dmp]

Typically, however if we are talking about the life of a child I think it's wise to not leave out what used to be pretty atypical behavior. Feminazis HAVE convinced some women that parenting is to be done at day care so as not to interfere with a womans' career or fun.

Still doesn't change the fact that women are better at nurturing - you're just pointing out how women have forsaken their most important calling in life; other than poll-dancing.