A Modest Proposal
For preventing the children of poor people in Christian America from being a burden to their parents or country, and for making them beneficial to the public
It is a melancholy object to those who walk through this great nation or travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and doors, crowded with beggars, followed by children, all in rags and importuning every cold hearted American rich person for a handout. These fathers/mothers, instead of being able to work for their honest livelihood, are forced to employ all their time in standing in line at the unemployment office, begging sustenance for their helpless children: who as they grow up either turn thieves for want of work, turn to communism or fascism, or even leave their dear native country.
I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.
I have been assured by very knowing conservatives, republicans, and libertarians of my acquaintance, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a stew.
I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for the corporations, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem to have the best title to the children.
I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this necessary work, having no other motive than the public good of my country, by advancing our trade, providing for infants, relieving the poor, and giving more pleasure to the rich. I have no children by which I can propose to get a single penny; the youngest being nine years old, and my wife past child-bearing. But given the current job situation and the surveys as noted in this thread, this solution will surely meet the moral and gluttonous tastes of all Conservative Americans. Thank you.
Apologies to Jonathan Swift
Jonathan Swift - A Modest Proposal
UBI and the Flat Tax
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/17/m...?em&ex=1166763600&en=008e5238d37554dc&ei=5070