Pirates vs Ninjas

[Andrew2382]

Who Wins?

 

[Mr. President]

NINJA 4 LIFE SON

 

[catzmeow]

Ninjas all the way, fool.

 

[Kevin_Kennedy]

Pirates are cooler, but ninjas would probably win in a fight.

 

[Epsilon Delta]

I'm voting for Pirates, because they rock.

 

[Jon]

Any who says pirates can fuck off and die. Ninjas have REAL ULTIMATE POWER!

Are you ready to get pumped

"If you don't believe that ninjas have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.

Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love ninjas with all of my body (including my pee pee)."

 

[xsited1]

This guy beats 'em all:

[They took my Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus! Bummer!!!!!]

 

[Paulie]

LOL, I don't think ANYONE beats ninajs, do they?

Who can take a ninja?

 

[random3434]

Do ninja's use nunchucks?

 

[Luissa]

The pirates would be dead before they knew it was ninja killing them!

 

[Epsilon Delta]

This poll is completely flawed. Next up:

Vikings vs. Samurai



PASODJASD{ASJIOpd{so.

 

[pfife]

For the world's sake I hope its the pirates. If the ninjas win, Cali will be underwater soon!

 

[Caligirl]

Ninjas natch.

they have training. Pirates are just poor sops stuck in a criminal lifestyle.

Johnny Depp beats out Jett Li any day though.

 

[Luissa]

This poll is completely flawed. Next up:

Vikings vs. Samurai



PASODJASD{ASJIOpd{so.

samurai

 

[Andrew2382]

depends on the battle field imo...in the middle of a forest ninjas.... a naval battle pirates fuck them up

 

[Shooter1/1]

being half ninja and half pirate, I have to say, the are both awsome and totally sweet. ninjas flip out and kill people then play rock guitar. Pirates flip out and kill people then go buy cool hats. I mean come on, how do you make a call on that?

 

[editec]

Ninjas are pussies.

First of all, what's with the all black outfits?

They're obviously depressed. They dress like freakin' art students for christ's sakes!

Pirates have a sense of fashion that's takin' no prisoners.

Secondly, Ninjas work for other people...they're freaking tools of the master class. They're nothing but servant thugs. They're such good old boys that they might as well be Marines

Pirates are self employed, capitalist objectivist libertarian anachists and they don't take crap from nobody, no time, no how.

Plus, pirates have a kinder gentler side...they have parrots.

What kind of pets do Ninja's have? Crickets! Crickets that chirp at them while they're doing floral arrangements.

Thirdly, let's look at how they both face death, shall we?

A Ninja gets caught and he kills himself. Now what kinda pussy crap is that?

Compare that to say, for example a Pirate standing on the scaffold waiting to be killed.

A pirate is not going to kill himself to make you happy.

Screw YOU! You want them dead? Do it yourself! They're not your freaking servants.

What were the last words of Blackbeard to the crowd there to watch him dance with the hangman's daughter?

"I wish youse all had but one neck so I could cut it"​

Now that, ladies and gentlement is a man who will not go gently into that night.​

That is a BAD ASS PIRATE telling the world it gan go fuck itself as far as HE'S CONCERNED.​

Ninjas?​

Ninjas a more like forking boy scouts in black pajamas. They're always trying to do the "right thing"​

The REAL BAD boys (and girls) are PIRATES!​

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR!​

 

[Caligirl]

I think I have changed my mind.

 

[catzmeow]

Pirates are fucking drama queens.

What's with the freaking pirate proclamations? Ninjas don't talk. They just rip your tongue out and kill you silently. For that matter, REAL MEN (tm) don't talk much, either. Real men (tm) are the strong silent types...just like ninjas.

Pirate are dirty, smelly and hairy. They wear way too much jewelry, and they put ribbons on everything, and they wear flowy ruffly shirts. Real men? Real men (tm) smell like soap, and they shave occasionally, and they take showers when they can. Pirates sound exactly like hippies, now that I think about it, and no hippy can EVER possibly be a real man (tm).

No real man (tm) wears earrings or long hair or a flowy shirt to a fight. Earrings snag on shit, your enemy can grab hold of your long hair and cut your throat, and flowy shirts? Please.

Real men don't have long flowing tresses or fancy overwaxed facial hair (see photo above), and a real man wouldn't be caught dead wearing a fucking SASH. Real men (tm) also don't wear a lot of jewelry. Except Guidos, but they're douchebags and not real men.

Real men (tm) frequently shave their heads (and who is more likely to have a shaved head than a freaking ninja???)

Speaking of emo, let's talk about pirates, for a bit. THEY FUCKING SING. No real man (tm) sings. Any man who sings, no matter how rock and roll he might be, is always slightly suspect in the scale of real manliness. And what do pirates sing? Well, it sure as hell isn't something on the manly side of things like AC/DC or Led Zeppelin. Pirates sing sea chanties. Sea chanties about how much they love the sea, and their piratical butt buddies.

And, since we can't properly discuss pirates without mentioning the love that dare not speak its name, when pirates go to sea, who do they spend all their time with for months at a time? Other men who sing and wear flowy shirts and tight trousers. Please. Let's put this out in the open: PIRATES ARE GHEY!!!!

Ninjas, on the other hand, go and hang out with hot geishas after work, and drink too much saki.

Ninjas are low maintenance. They have a basic black uniform (much like your average SWAT team) with cool weapons.

Ninjas are the silent, deadly killers. They can creep across your ceiling with their special ninja powers, drop down, cut your throat, and be out the door before your dog stops snoring.

Clearly, ninjas pwn pirates every day of the freaking week.

Tell me these ninjas aren't bad ass mothafuckas:

 

[editec]

Pirates are fucking drama queens.

God damned right they are.

And every one of their dramatic apparences is a tragedy for the extras on the stage, too.

What's with the freaking pirate proclamations?

They're poet warriors, what else?

Ninjas don't talk.

That's because they don't think for themselves. Nobody fucking cares what they think, anyway. They're tools.

They just rip your tongue out and kill you silently.

What fun is that?

For that matter, REAL MEN (tm) don't talk much, either.

You're confusing REAL MEN for husbands.

Real men (tm) are the strong silent types...just like ninjas.

Ah yes, the strong silent type myth. You're confusing silence for too stupid to have anything noteworthy to say.

Pirate are dirty, smelly and hairy.

Yaaar!

They wear way too much jewelry, and they put ribbons on everything, and they wear flowy ruffly shirts.

They're not SLAVES to your pathetically limited fashion sense, that's for damned sure.

Real men? Real men (tm) smell like soap, and they shave occasionally, and they take showers when they can.

Any punk can shower and shave, Christopher street and P-Town are loaded with girly smelling pansies.

It takes a real man to stink so bad he has to sneak up on his bottle of rum.

Pirates sound exactly like hippies, now that I think about it, and no hippy can EVER possibly be a real man (tm).

Exactly...hippies with cutlasses and blunderbuses. Here maties...smoke ye some a' dis, den let's us go have us a
SLAUGHTER IN.

When the moon is in the seventh house
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
First we will plunder everyone
And then...we'll hit the bars​

This is the coming of the age of our Piracy
We'll rove the seven seas
We'll do just as we please!
It's piracy
All else live on their knees.​

Disharmony means plunder scamming
All the nasty things that we are planning
No more taking da man's orders
We don't give a damn for borders
It's LIBERTY
It's Piracy!​

No real man (tm) wears earrings or long hair or a flowy shirt to a fight.

What? this old thing?

It's just something frilly I took off a viscount ... at a discount.

Earrings snag on shit, your enemy can grab hold of your long hair and cut your throat, and flowy shirts?

That long hair on men makes your feel all funny in your tummy and a trifle confused about your sexual indentity, doesn't it?

That's all right, lad, Pirates don't hate young fags like you who haven't yet figured out who they are, yet.

Pirates don't care about who you fuck. They only care who you let fuck you.

Please.

Yeah, well... maybe if you ask nicely enough the pirates will let you and your team of pussy ninjas kill themselves instead of walking the plank.

Real men don't have long flowing tresses or fancy overwaxed facial hair (see photo above), and a real man wouldn't be caught dead wearing a fucking SASH. Real men (tm) also don't wear a lot of jewelry. Except Guidos, but they're douchebags and not real men.

I think you're confusing ninjas for fashion consultants, sweetie.

Real men (tm) frequently shave their heads (and who is more likely to have a shaved head than a freaking ninja???

Half the fags in Gaytown shave their heads, lad. That's how they attract those nancyboys who like that tough guy look.

Speaking of emo, let's talk about pirates, for a bit. THEY FUCKING SING.

No real man (tm) sings.

If you were totally free to do whatever the fuck you pleased, instead of being a person totally dominated by the rules of fashion that your mommy taught you, you might have something to sing about too.

Any man who sings, no matter how rock and roll he might be, is always slightly suspect in the scale of real manliness.

Only to men who are not yet aware how gay they really are, honey.

When you find the right boy, I'm sure you'll feel like singing, too.

And what do pirates sing? Well, it sure as hell isn't something on the manly side of things like AC/DC or Led Zeppelin. Pirates sing sea chanties. Sea chanties about how much they love the sea, and their piratical butt buddies.

The sing Of course they sing. Their victims can't because their thoats are cut, matie.

Firsteen men on dead man's chest
Yo ho ho! and bottle of rum.
Drunkin' the bottle from the dead man's vest
Yo ho ho! and bottle of rum.

And, since we can't properly discuss pirates without mentioning the love that dare not speak its name, when pirates go to sea, who do they spend all their time with for months at a time?

Captured Ninjas. who else? They're already in their pajamas, after all.

Other men who sing and wear flowy shirts and tight trousers. Please. Let's put this out in the open: PIRATES ARE GHEY!!!!

Silly boy...all gays are naturally outlaws, God bless 'em.

That's why you get all nervous when you meet them. Free men like gays and pirates make slaves like you nervous.

Ninjas, on the other hand, go and hang out with hot geishas after work, and drink too much saki.

Sure they do. Geishas like Madam Butterfly

Ninjas are low maintenance. They have a basic black uniform (much like your average SWAT team) with cool weapons.

Yeah, it is well known fact how much those ninjas like to stroke the fellow ninja's weapons.

Ninjas are the silent, deadly killers.

So are my farts, but I try not to make a big deal out of it.

They can creep across your ceiling with their special ninja powers, drop down, cut your throat, and be out the door before your dog stops snoring.

They have to come out of the closet before they can do their ceiling crawl, don't they?

Clearly, ninjas pwn pirates every day of the freaking week.

Queerly, they wish.

Tell me these ninjas aren't bad ass mothafuckas:

Look like a buncha pigs workin' for da man, to me.